I’m Really Not a Green Tea Bitch

[Complete] Contemporary showbiz, top protagonist: Has the Movie Emperor Trended Today? Ancient-to-modern romance: The Short-Tempered Princess Consort Is Here to Beat You Up [Coming Soon] Sweet contemporary romance: My Ex Is Angry Again. Transmigration into a book, xianxia, bottom protagonist: He Turned Dark After Becoming a Cannon Fodder Blurb: To support himself and the System, Fang Hengyi enters an in-game tournament to win a bride. After winning the match, the person who placed the ad says, "Log in at this time tomorrow and help me snatch a bride first." Yi Yu Jing Ren: Sure. After they snatch the bride, Fang Hengyi watches helplessly as his patron throws her off a cliff. Shan Jie Ren Yi: This is what happens when you betray me. Yi Yu Jing Ren: ...Boss, you sure know how to get even. ￣▽￣ Shan Jie Ren Yi: Come on. Let's get married at the Matchmaker's Temple. Yi Yu Jing Ren: You got it, boss! (o°ω°o) After they get married. Yi Yu Jing Ren: Hubby~ (*/ω\*) Shan Jie Ren Yi: How old are you? Yi Yu Jing Ren: Eighteen~ Shan Jie Ren Yi: ...Just call me big brother. Yi Yu Jing Ren: Okay, hubby~ (~￣▽￣)~ Once he learns that his in-game boss is the older brother of his roommate, whom he lives with, Fang Hengyi's thoughts start to wander. One day, the System accidentally tricks Fang Hengyi into the game, where he loses his memory. When his roommate enters the game to rescue him, Fang Hengyi shows his true colors and lets his inner wolf run wild. He grips Liang Shan's ankle and drags him closer, looking aggrieved and hurt. "Didn't you promise to marry me? Why are you running away?" Suddenly, his expression darkens and his gaze turns icy. He grabs Liang Shan by the jaw. "You lied to me? Believe me, I can make sure you can't walk." Liang Shan is forced to tilt his head back, revealing his long, delicate neck. His narrow, bewitching fox eyes shimmer as he snaps in anger, "You bastard! You wouldn't dare!" Fang Hengyi sneers. "You know I would." Then he leans in and kisses him. Back in the real world, Liang Shan sits beside the bed and asks Fang Hengyi, "A Yi, do you remember what happened in the game?" Fang Hengyi pretends to pause in confusion. His sweet dimples appear as he asks innocently, "Big brother, did something happen? I'm sorry, I don't remember~" Liang Shan gazes at him for two seconds, then slowly narrows his beautiful fox eyes. "It's fine. Better that you don't remember." A month later, Fang Hengyi thinks Liang Shan hates him and tries to drown his sorrows in alcohol. He never expects Liang Shan to come to him of his own accord. He pins Liang Shan to the sofa, eyes burning, and holds up a folder of papers that looks like a report. "Big brother, what does this mean?" With his ears burning, Liang Shan explains, then concludes with a gentle, sincere look in his eyes: "A Yi, will you be with me?" Fang Hengyi's eyes curve with a smile, his dimples sweet enough to intoxicate. He hugs and nuzzles Liang Shan, acting spoiled. "Hubby~" Liang Shan's Adam's apple bobs. Blushing furiously, he manages to say, "Mm. Good boy." A wolf in sheep's clothing, tea-loving, voice-obsessed voice actor and streamer, graduate student top x domineering CEO, goofy, proud, straight-laced bottom [Important Notes] 1. The top used to be the campus heartthrob, with looks to match. He gained weight after getting sick and taking medication, but later loses it and makes a triumphant comeback. 2. Both leads have exes, but they aren't important. They just help fuel the romance between the two of them. 3. Younger top, with a seven-year age gap. 4. They dote on each other. Readers who are strongly attached to either the top or bottom, proceed with caution. 5. A goofy, heartwarming style. 6. Includes online dating, online catfishing that backfires, a fake-straight-to-gay romance, and a fake-voice warning! Plenty of gaming scenes, with game mechanics made up for the story. 7. The top occasionally turns into a woman, but not for long! 8. Don't try to view this story from a scientific perspective. It really isn't scientific. [Complete] Has the Movie Emperor Trended Today?: After lying low for two years, Bai Muyun returns to the spotlight and keeps trending. His popularity rivals that of the biggest stars. #Shocking! Bai Muyun and up-and-coming director Lu Yan passionately embrace at a hotel! Are they a same-sex couple?!# Bai Muyun, expressionless: We happened to pass each other. We're not close. Netizens: Really? We don't believe you! #Shocking! Bai Muyun is living with a famous musician. What do you think?# Bai Muyun: We've been friends for ten years. What's wrong with letting him stay over? Netizens: What? @Strawberry Entertainment, retire him! #Shocking! Bai Muyun's mysterious patron is finally revealed to be the CEO of Bai Group!# Bai Muyun: That's my older brother. Netizens: What the hell?! Movie Emperor Bai, didn't you say you came from an ordinary family?! #Shocking! Famous author Shan Mingmo plagiarized Bai Muyun's short story from middle school. The proud genius author's image is in ruins!# Bai Muyun: How am I supposed to prove I didn't plagiarize myself? Netizens: ??? What else is there that we don't know about you?! #Breaking! Bai Muyun and Lu Yan's relationship confirmed! They live together, wear matching outfits, and speak intimately!# Bai Muyun smiles faintly: You finally found out. He's my boyfr... Mmph! Lu Yan claps a hand over Bai Muyun's mouth: We're just good friends~ Their friends kick Bai Muyun right back into the closet: Of course. Lao Bai always acts like this around us. The Yun-Yan CP fans barricade the closet door and shout at the top of their lungs: They're just brothers! The Little Cloud Sailors: Huh? The higher-ups told us to let things take their course. We don't know anything. Fight the anti-fans and boost the stats! Onlookers: Tsk, tsk, tsk~ A seemingly aloof, sharp-tongued, proud literary soul, gentle and devoted movie emperor top x a sweet-looking but dark-hearted, stubborn, blunt, and wildly flirtatious director bottom Coming Soon: He Turned Dark After Becoming a Cannon Fodder: Ying Shuluo transmigrates into a book as a villainous cannon fodder. First, he takes part in the battle that wipes out the male lead's clan and gouges out his eyes. Later, he covets the male lead's woman. In the end, the male lead throws him into a demon-beast den, where the beasts tear him apart. By the time Ying Shuluo transmigrates, the male lead's clan has already been wiped out and his eyes already gouged out. Ying Shuluo: Damn it, run! As he flees, he takes pity on three orphans and brings them along. He thinks they can become a family and rely on one another, until... The eldest gouges out his eyes and imprisons him on an island. The second treats him like a blood bag. The third betrays him to save his own life. Only then does he learn that the eldest, Jun Yueling, is the male lead; the second, Yue Cheng, is the first major antagonist; and the third, Qu Xingyao, is the second major antagonist. After all this, he turns dark. Everyone says that the newly recovered young master Ying is blind, disabled, and a medical cultivator. What a pity that the vast Ying clan has no powerful heir to carry on its legacy. Later, Ying Shuluo not only heals his legs and regains his sight, but also beats up Demon Lord Yue Cheng, kicks Demon Lord Qu Xingyao, and imprisons the aloof and virtuous Immortal Lord Yueling, tormenting him for more than half a year. Later, Ying Shuluo slaughters the Ying clan, establishes a new sect, and raises it to one of the five strongest sects in the cultivation world. Later still, Ying Shuluo unifies the demon realm and names himself its emperor, earning the fear and respect of all. On the day Jun Yueling is to marry someone else, Ying Shuluo kidnaps him and takes him back to the demon realm. Red candles glow behind the bridal curtains. Jun Yueling shifts his hands and feet, making the chains clink sharply. The door opens, spilling moonlight across the floor. Dressed all in red, Ying Shuluo walks toward him step by step, expressionless. "What do you want?" Jun Yueling raises his head and asks through gritted teeth. "Mm..." Ying Shuluo gazes at him tenderly, smiling as he strokes his face. "How dare you marry someone else, my good disciple?" His eyes turn suddenly cold, touched with cruelty and madness. He grips Jun Yueling's chin and speaks each word slowly. "In this life, you can only be my medicine." A beautiful, strong, tragic, smiling assassin, darkened bottom x aloof, taciturn, full of inner turmoil, cultivation of the Unfeeling Dao top Coming Soon: My Ex Is Angry Again: Many years later, Rao Qing'an and Fu Xiao unexpectedly run into each other. She's drunk at a gathering with friends, watching all the couples around her. Overcome with regret, she bursts into tears. "If I hadn't broken up with him back then, our kid would be old enough to run errands by now!" The table suddenly falls silent. She turns around and sees a tall, handsome man standing there, straight as a bamboo stalk, staring at her. She blinks, then staggers over to him with a silly grin. "Hey, handsome, you look just like my ex... Since fate brought us together, why don't we add each other on WeChat?" Rao Qing'an's ex, Fu Xiao, keeps his composure. "Take a good look at me. Do you know who I am?" Rao Qing'an is baffled. She shakes her head and asks cautiously, "Do I know you?" Fu Xiao freezes for a moment, then laughs in exasperation. The second time they meet is on a film set. He's an investor surrounded by people; she's an actress who used to be famous, but has been kept on the shelf for years and fallen far down the ranks. Her agent pushes her to show her face in front of the big-shot investor. "H-Hello, Mr. Fu. I'm Rao Qing'an, the third female lead." Fu Xiao glances at her outstretched hand, then turns and walks away without a word. The third time they meet, it's pouring rain. Rao Qing'an sits beside her father's gravestone, crying in despair, when the rain suddenly stops falling on her. She looks up, her vision blurred with tears, and sees a tall figure dressed in black holding a black umbrella. She freezes. Fu Xiao bends down and tries to hand her the umbrella. "Go home soon." "Fu Xiao! If you're angry and want revenge, mess with my feelings, but don't ruin my career! Please..." Rao Qing'an clings to his leg and sobs uncontrollably, tears streaming down her face. "Mess with my feelings, not my career!" Fu Xiao: "..." * After Fu Xiao was dumped, he spent three days and nights trying to understand what he'd done wrong to make Rao Qing'an break up with him so decisively and disappear without a trace. He brooded over it for years, until he finally decided to forget the past and move on. Then one day, that bad bunny suddenly showed up. The bad bunny clung to his leg and begged him to mess with her feelings. Hah. She walked right into a tree all by herself. Theme: A motivational weight-loss story, a healthy comeback.