[Naruto] Uchiha Runtu Is Online, Spearing Watermelons

A brainless wish-fulfillment story that's half silly comedy and half dark angst. A certain person with a ridiculous name, his unlucky second-eldest brother, and the ninjas who suffer at their hands. Using a romance guide to farm friendship points: the Konoha way of being best friends (sincerely). Lots of heavily altered FGO lore and original headcanon. Multiple playthroughs and save-scumming. If the cheat isn't switched off, it's basically not even switched on (?) What do you do when you become the twin brother of Obito Uchiha, the little boss of the Fourth Shinobi World War? Uchiha Runtu has the answer: just muddle through. Pour on some sesame oil, and it'll taste even better. What kind of person names one son Taitu and another Runtu? If they had one more, would they call him Rare Earth? Watching the sunshine-loving little fool frolic around, so out of place among his family and fellow clan members, Runtu falls into thought: How should I teach you, my dear Obito? Puppy love and self-publishing are both dead ends! Luckily, his golden finger arrives at the same time. Looking at the interface of that certain BGO game he hadn't logged into for days during the last lull in his previous life, Uchiha Runtu smiles reverently as he prays for someone's ultimate ascension: Damn it, where's my account? Where are the Saint Quartz I've saved for a year? What about all those materials I farmed myself (scratch that)? What kind of defective product is this? There's only a Friend Point Summon? Of course, when it comes to making up game mechanics, a certain author has rarely lost. Even with only the Friend Point Summon, it's still useful. And as a former speedrunner, save-scumming and even using Command Spells to force a retry are second nature. Restarting a game hundreds or thousands of times for the sake of one miracle is nothing unusual. So, to farm friendship points and complete his System missions, Uchiha Runtu sets off down the one-way road of making friends of every age... But this is Konoha, after all. Obito is frantic: You ill-intentioned bastards, stay away from my little brother! Aaaaaah! I'm going to create a world where no one can steal Runtu from me! Runtu: Wonderful (applause). Runtu: But you're all my friends. His best friends: Hah! We only became your friends because we were fooled by that silver tongue of yours! (throws things in anger) Runtu smiles faintly: The Konoha Best Friend Experience, worth having. Theme: If we're best friends, come help me farm some friendship points.