[Please add my next book, Hello, Can I Bury You in Your Grave?, to your reading list. Sending love!]
[Blurb]
Lu Zhinan is a third-tier actor in the Chinese entertainment industry, a cheap brick used to build walls in the film and television world. After five years in the business, countless shows that became hits while he didn't, and countless breakout roles that still left his own name unknown, he feels he's forged himself a Zen-like heart of reinforced concrete. He watches the industry's infighting with a smile, focuses on acting and getting paid, and works from nine to five each day, living the bland life of an entertainment-industry wage slave so unremarkable that even paparazzi and gossip accounts can't be bothered to stake him out.
Then he watches a series of fan-edited videos on a certain lettered video site, lured by a fake recommendation, and discovers that he's been turned into a plot device?!!!
In a bizarre crack pairing universe, he's still a cheap brick, but this time he's not building walls or foundations. He's been assigned to serve as the bridge for a wildly popular crack ship, separating the two leads again and again across three lifetimes. His methods are brutal, his efficiency astonishing: it's almost too shocking to believe! One man can take the place of an entire mob of torches and gasoline!
One of the two crack-shipped leads became famous at a young age. A box-office and critical darling in film and television, his projects are hits and he's an even bigger star. He's the cash cow and apple of the eye of investors and famous directors.
The other is a top-tier star who made the transition from idol to actor, with a gorgeous face and figure and outstanding singing and dancing. His company and fans support him all the way, laying a path of money and popularity before him.
These two are a perfect match, made for each other and perfectly suited in status. The matchmaking god himself has arranged their marriage! How could a third-tier actor like him possibly come between them? Not even as a character!
Lu Zhinan reflects on his mistakes and decisively... uninstalls that lettered video site!
Not long after, he receives an invitation to play the second male lead in a big-budget production from a famous director.
Lu Zhinan excitedly drags his suitcase to the set, but the moment he sees the two lead actors, his vision goes black. Only four blood-red words remain in his mind: Heaven wants me dead!
Lu Zhinan: No thanks. I'm at the film set, just got to the dressing room, and I'm still struggling to survive today's crack-pairing battlefield :)
*
Little scene
After they get to know each other, Lu Zhinan looks at the increasingly bizarre direction of the script and sighs. “As they say, wherever three people walk together, one is bound to be a plot device.”
But as time goes by, it seems that both on and off the set, he's headed down a winding road with no return?
The two leads have a much clearer understanding of themselves.
Yi Gu: “He's the plot device.”
An Pin: “I'm the plot device.” =m=
Lu Zhinan: “??? Then what am I?”
Yi Gu: “You're the moon hanging in the sky, the stars resting in my heart.”
An Pin: “...Ugh.” Don't mind me, just let me gag alone for a while.
P.S.
1. The characters, fan edits, TV shows, movies, scripts, and variety shows in this story are not based on real people or works.
2. This is a fictional setting, with a mountain of original worldbuilding.
3. Probably... a timid, short-sighted, faux-immortal bottom × a cold-faced, honest, genuinely flirtatious top _(:з")_
New book coming soon: Hello, Can I Bury You in Your Grave?
In his previous life, Xie Chenyuan was a notorious scoundrel who betrayed his master and sect and slaughtered his way through the world of metaphysics. At last, he finally died, only to open his eyes and find himself reborn as a delinquent who was supposed to have drowned.
In this new life, the sect he had once “betrayed,” “destroyed,” and brought misery upon hadn't fallen into decline. Instead, it had risen to become the most prestigious orthodox sect in metaphysics, with incense burning brightly at its altars.
After dying and coming back to life, Xie Chenyuan inherited only the delinquent's illegally modified, unregistered motorcycle, a charlatan grandfather who's barely breathing, and a mushroom haircut so green it makes people uneasy.
The contrast is so harsh, it feels as if karma really exists.
Karma? Xie Chenyuan, who had been nailed to the pillar of shame for betraying his master and sect, and cursed by generations of metaphysics practitioners three times a day for hundreds of years, refuses to accept it. He's ready to become karma itself and make the long-peaceful world of metaphysics feel the shock of a rebellious disciple once again. Seeing his former sect flourish is more painful than dying!
But before he can put his plan into action, someone comes knocking. His visitor is as lovely as a jade tree and as handsome as a bamboo stalk, an icy, pristine beauty who clearly isn't anything like him. Sure enough, the first thing he says is, “Our graves have collapsed.”
Did the damn metaphysics sect use his corpse for a ghost marriage?!
The visitor isn't making it up. The inscription on a stone tablet confirms it:
Four hundred years ago, a dragon ran rampant, and floodwaters swept through the land, leaving people on both banks displaced and destitute. A Taoist priest devised a plan to bring peace: he found a human bride for the dragon, so she could serve him as a wife and raise their children, taming his vicious nature and restraining the evil dragon. Thus the floods soon subsided, and peace returned to the region.
Xie Chenyuan can't accept it. “I'm the human bride...groom?”
The visitor nods. “I'm the evil dragon.”
A scoundrel paired with an evil dragon. What a wicked twist of fate... This is heaven helping him!
Theme: Stay true to your original aspirations, and you will reach your destination.
Post a pre-collection, friends who are interested can click to collect ~
"I'm not a human anymore"
Once he died suddenly, Mu Juaner swore that he would rather be a livestock in the next life than a social beast struck by lightning. God granted him permission, and he really became a beast (not in a derogatory sense) when he opened his eyes again.
Rebirth of the Animal World Survival Guide - Find yourself a master (long-term) person (meal ticket).
Mujuan Er carefully scouted and boldly approached the porcelain, and successfully bound a high-quality human being - blind, big-hearted, and rich.
From now on, he could live a fairy life without worrying about food and clothing, but he didn't expect that he would not have to worry about food and clothing. However, he has a "curl" in his name and destiny and can't sleep at all. A pet cat can also become a gold medal guide cat, defeating 99% of guide dogs with its strength.
Forget it, a lifetime has passed quickly... No, why don't you be a human being? ?
Mujuan Er: So, who among us is having trouble with each other?
Long-term meal ticket: You are my eyes (affectionate)
Reborn Animal World Survival Guide Part 2 - A long-term, stable and reliable intimate relationship can effectively increase the survival rate.
The world is in tatters, and kittens are mending things.
Polar Love, Penguin Children's Song
Cat (eagle) and little (squirrel) mouse
Lion and Lion wishful thinking - for the alliance!
Little Sea Otter's Adventures (Hand-in-Hand Version)
Legend of the Wolf King, those years when I started White Claw in No Man's Land
The two bears were walking next to each other. An could tell whether I was a male or a female - they told me that I didn't cheat on my marriage. It was the bear that made the first move.
Rectify the old watchers in Mount Emei
There is no room for two tigers in one mountain unless food and shelter are provided
ps:
The above world arrangement is not the final version, the order of writing is uncertain, and new animals may be added midway.
1V1 slow-moving cookie, privately set up like a mountain.
The title of the novel is "I'm Not a Human", so the protagonist will not change into a human being, but only wears various animals from beginning to end.
There are extra chapters in Nine Cities, but there is no extra side here? (┯_┯)
White Bear Video "On the surface: Oh, it's such a pity that they can't be broadcast together." "Actually: I'm pretending, hahahahaha! Exclusive broadcast!"
The new article "Hello, may I bury you in your grave" is available in advance. Interested friends can enter the column and click to add it to your collection.
Copywriting: In his previous life, Xie Chenyuan, a well-known scoundrel who deceived his master and destroyed his ancestors, betrayed his master and killed his way through the world of metaphysics, finally died. When he opened his eyes, he was reborn as a will-o'-the-wisp boy who should have drowned.
In his new life, the sect that had been bullied, destroyed, and harmed by him was not only in decline, but also became the most prosperous and orthodox metaphysics in the world.
Xie Chenyuan, however, had a life-and-death experience, and only inherited the three-no motorcycle illegally modified by the Will-O-Wisp boy, the magic stick grandfather who had energy coming in and out, and a panic-stricken green mushroom head.
The contrast is so tragic, as if there is really retribution in the dark.
Retribution? Xie Chenyuan, who was nailed to the Pillar of Shame for deceiving his master and destroying his ancestors and scolded for hundreds of years by Xuanmen descendants for three days and nine times for hundreds of years, refused to accept it and prepared to incarnate as retribution to make Xuanmen, who had been calm for a long time, feel the shock of being a traitor again - seeing his former master's sect prospering was more uncomfortable than letting him die!
However, before the retribution plan could be implemented, Xie Chenyuan was approached first. The person who came was as bright as a jade tree and as handsome as a bamboo, a pure and pure beauty. At first glance, it was obvious that she was not the same as him. She really opened her mouth and said: Our tomb has collapsed.
Damn it, Xuanmen used his corpse as a match for a ghost marriage? !
The visitor is not just talking nonsense, there are inscriptions to prove it - four hundred years ago, a dragon raged and floods flowed across the river. The people on both sides of the strait were displaced and in great distress. At that time, there were Taoist priests who made plans to pacify the dragon by hiring women to be their husbands and raising their children, taming their ferocious nature and controlling the evil dragon. As a result, floods have ceased and the local area has become peaceful.
Xie Chenyuan couldn't accept it: I am a married woman... Husband?
The visitor nodded: I am a dragon.
What a bad fate it is for a scum to be paired with an evil dragon... God help him!
ヾ(≧∪≦*)ノ
Madam, I'm here again, do you want to open a document?
Madam, do you want to open a letter? (Cat's head is crying)
You haven't written a letter yet? Abba, Abba, I've been training in the school for a week and need the comfort of a new letter.
Madam, madam, madam!
My writing has really dried up. Madam, I beg you to start writing soon. T_T
Post a pre-collection, friends who are interested can click to collect ~ "I'm not a human anymore" Once he died suddenly, Mu Juaner swore that he would rather be a livestock in the next life than a social beast struck by lightning. God granted him permission, and he really became a beast (not in a derogatory sense) when he opened his eyes again. Rebirth of the Animal World Survival Guide - Find yourself a master (long-term) person (meal ticket). Mujuan Er carefully scouted and boldly approached the porcelain, and successfully bound a high-quality human being - blind, big-hearted, and rich. From now on, he could live a fairy life without worrying about food and clothing, but he didn't expect that he would not have to worry about food and clothing. However, he has a "curl" in his name and destiny and can't sleep at all. A pet cat can also become a gold medal guide cat, defeating 99% of guide dogs with its strength. Forget it, a lifetime has passed quickly... No, why don't you be a human being? ? Mujuan Er: So, who among us is having trouble with each other? Long-term meal ticket: You are my eyes (affectionate) Reborn Animal World Survival Guide Part 2 - A long-term, stable and reliable intimate relationship can effectively increase the survival rate. The world is in tatters, and kittens are mending things. Polar Love, Penguin Children's Song Cat (eagle) and little (squirrel) mouse Lion and Lion wishful thinking - for the alliance! Little Sea Otter's Adventures (Hand-in-Hand Version) Legend of the Wolf King, those years when I started White Claw in No Man's Land The two bears were walking next to each other. An could tell whether I was a male or a female - they told me that I didn't cheat on my marriage. It was the bear that made the first move. Rectify the old watchers in Mount Emei There is no room for two tigers in one mountain unless food and shelter are provided ps: The above world arrangement is not the final version, the order of writing is uncertain, and new animals may be added midway. 1V1 slow-moving cookie, privately set up like a mountain. The title of the novel is "I'm Not a Human", so the protagonist will not change into a human being, but only wears various animals from beginning to end.
There are extra chapters in Nine Cities, but there is no extra side here? (┯_┯)
White Bear Video "On the surface: Oh, it's such a pity that they can't be broadcast together." "Actually: I'm pretending, hahahahaha! Exclusive broadcast!"
The new article "Hello, may I bury you in your grave" is available in advance. Interested friends can enter the column and click to add it to your collection. Copywriting: In his previous life, Xie Chenyuan, a well-known scoundrel who deceived his master and destroyed his ancestors, betrayed his master and killed his way through the world of metaphysics, finally died. When he opened his eyes, he was reborn as a will-o'-the-wisp boy who should have drowned. In his new life, the sect that had been bullied, destroyed, and harmed by him was not only in decline, but also became the most prosperous and orthodox metaphysics in the world. Xie Chenyuan, however, had a life-and-death experience, and only inherited the three-no motorcycle illegally modified by the Will-O-Wisp boy, the magic stick grandfather who had energy coming in and out, and a panic-stricken green mushroom head. The contrast is so tragic, as if there is really retribution in the dark. Retribution? Xie Chenyuan, who was nailed to the Pillar of Shame for deceiving his master and destroying his ancestors and scolded for hundreds of years by Xuanmen descendants for three days and nine times for hundreds of years, refused to accept it and prepared to incarnate as retribution to make Xuanmen, who had been calm for a long time, feel the shock of being a traitor again - seeing his former master's sect prospering was more uncomfortable than letting him die! However, before the retribution plan could be implemented, Xie Chenyuan was approached first. The person who came was as bright as a jade tree and as handsome as a bamboo, a pure and pure beauty. At first glance, it was obvious that she was not the same as him. She really opened her mouth and said: Our tomb has collapsed. Damn it, Xuanmen used his corpse as a match for a ghost marriage? ! The visitor is not just talking nonsense, there are inscriptions to prove it - four hundred years ago, a dragon raged and floods flowed across the river. The people on both sides of the strait were displaced and in great distress. At that time, there were Taoist priests who made plans to pacify the dragon by hiring women to be their husbands and raising their children, taming their ferocious nature and controlling the evil dragon. As a result, floods have ceased and the local area has become peaceful. Xie Chenyuan couldn't accept it: I am a married woman... Husband? The visitor nodded: I am a dragon. What a bad fate it is for a scum to be paired with an evil dragon... God help him!
ヾ(≧∪≦*)ノ
Madam, I'm here again, do you want to open a document?
Madam, do you want to open a letter? (Cat's head is crying)
You haven't written a letter yet? Abba, Abba, I've been training in the school for a week and need the comfort of a new letter.
Madam, madam, madam!
My writing has really dried up. Madam, I beg you to start writing soon. T_T