Officer Kudo Has Nothing to Say

[Next up: the no-pairing Detective Conan tabletop role-playing story “Being a CoC Investigator Is Such a High-Risk Job!” See my profile. Scroll down for the synopsis~ (^▽^ )]

[Main story complete]

Kudo was suddenly accosted by a System.

It insisted that he sign a contract and do missions, going to the main world to role-play. Kudo agreed, on the condition that he would be in charge of every aspect of the role-playing missions.

But the System always seemed to have a bone to pick with the scripts he wrote.

[At a bar, a young man with purple eyes ordered a Tennessee whiskey. Holding his glass, he smiled at the blond undercover agent beside him, who had struck up a conversation. “Tennessee drinking Tennessee… Don’t you think that’s funny?”]

System: ?

Kudo: Let me introduce my subordinate, Hagiwara, a detective from the First Investigative Division.

[At the hospital, a curly-haired man who looked like a gangster sat in the stairwell, studying the parts in front of him. Ignoring the Public Security chief standing nearby, he gave a mocking laugh. “A bomb? Oh, I made it. The design is pretty clever, isn’t it?”]

System: ?!

Kudo: This is Matsuda, a bomb-disposal specialist hired by the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department.

[In a narrow alley, Scotland pressed a gun to Bourbon’s back and spoke coldly. “Sniping isn’t the only thing I’m good at, traitor.”]

System: How are you going to explain this one?!

Kudo: This is Hiromitsu, a household-name superstar. He’s filming a police drama right now.

System: But your world is peaceful, isn’t it? Are there any roles that won’t get people the wrong idea?!

Kudo looked at the remaining cosplay scripts and put on the same innocent expression as Conan.

Akai the Public Security officer, Kurosawa Jin the preschool teacher, or himself, the savior of the police force and famous detective Kudo? Which one should he pick?

*

Amuro was in a very gloomy mood. He felt as if disaster had struck him.

He’d also noticed that all the strange colleagues he’d run into lately had mentioned the same person.

[My boss is really impressive, you know?]

[Ha, Shinichi was the one who showed me the way.]

[…That person is like family to me.]

Just then, Conan pushed open the door of the Poirot Café. He looked serious, as if he’d come across something unbelievable.

Conan, anxiously: “Mr. Amuro!”

“…”

Conan, breaking into a cold sweat: “M-Mr. Amuro?”

“…”

Why was he giving him such a gloomy look while washing dishes?!

Reader’s Guide:

Please read the highlighted note at the very beginning!!!

[People keep asking if anyone comes back to life. See rule 4: everyone survives, happy ending. Those who should live will live, and those who should die will get killed. Rest assured, Organization!!]

1. Kudo has no pairing. Little Ran is still a child.

2. The characters Kudo plays are based on people from his own world, that is, Officer Kudo 1.0.

3. No one turns from the red side to the black side. The neighboring world has turned into a slice-of-life comedy, and everyone’s a good person! They’re just wearing a sinister filter!

4. Happy ending. Everyone survives.

5. Mainly about Officer Kudo going to the main world and shocking everyone!

“Being a CoC Investigator Is Such a High-Risk Job!”

When creating a character, Taochuan chose random and left everything to fate.

[…So 40 Dexterity and 90 Appearance are your destiny?] the KP asked cautiously.

“And what about the other 40?” Taochuan said, touched. “A ridiculously handsome guy with a limp and incredible charisma. Perfect.”

The KP, who knew the plot, glanced at the name of a certain curly-haired police officer at the top of the character sheet, then looked at the still-alive curly-haired police officer in this world, and fell into deep thought.

Does Matsuda know you’re spreading rumors about him out there?

*

Maybe he didn’t know at the time, but he found out later. Taochuan was really going all out to clear the scenario, after all.

So the people from the real world who were also inside the scenario saw this:

Facing the scenario’s BOSS, who was about to start a fight, [Matsuda] rolled a critical success on Dexterity. He spun around at an unbelievable speed and dodged the attack with his glowing prosthetic leg.

“That startled me.” The curly-haired investigator calmly adjusted his sunglasses. “So that’s all there is to it. Even a cripple can dodge that.”

Beside him, Furuya, who had failed his Dexterity roll and fallen over: …Is this guy taking a shot at me?

When faced with a scenario NPC who needed to be coaxed into talking, [Furuya] critically failed his Persuade roll and tried to run, only to be dragged back by the deranged NPC, who proceeded to confess his love passionately.

“Calm down…” The investigator, an elementary schooler with a Size of 15, shoved the NPC’s face away as it drew closer. “It’s illegal to like me!”

Edogawa, standing nearby, was horrified. “Someone help! There’s a pedophile here! And he’s going after a mini version of Mr. Amuro!”

When faced with whispers carried on the sea breeze, [Kudo] rolled a critical success on his Idea roll and went insane on the spot, showing everyone what it meant to master the art of being mentally ill.

“Ran? What a coincidence, you’re here too.” The black-haired investigator, who had only just reached adulthood, smiled and greeted him. “Want to head over there together?”

The master thief, who had only been passing by before getting dragged over, stared at him and gasped. “You’re calling me Ran?”

And so on.

The locals gaped in astonishment. Even with the truth right in front of them, they still didn’t want to admit these people were their counterparts from a parallel world.

In response, Taochuan asked the KP the friendliest question he could think of: “Are you a coin?”

It’s either a critical success or a critical failure. Are you messing with me?!

*

Some time later, Taochuan, whose investigator career was thriving, spoke casually about his past.

“Becoming a legendary investigator is easy. I was only sacrificed to cultists an average of three times a week, destroyed a cult’s plan to end the world twice, and almost got assaulted once…”

“…How are you still alive?”

“Yeah, how am I still alive? (^▽^)”

*

Reader’s Guide:

1. The rules are generally based on CoC 7th Edition, but sometimes I use house rules depending on how lazy the author is feeling and how the plot develops. The main goal is for the investigators to have fun and for everyone to enjoy reading.

2. Non-mainstream cosmic horror. The scenarios serve the story.

3. Apart from essential plot points, most dice rolls are left to the dice maiden’s mood. No fudging.

4. Don’t believe the first rule XD

Theme: Don’t drown in memories. Keep looking ahead.