No One Understands Detective Science Better Than I Do

0. A month after police academy started, I got bound to a System named A Qi. A Qi said a virus had invaded this world. If I wanted life to stay as peaceful as it was, I had to fix the errors with his help. Specifically, I had to spot the differences in everyday life and judge whether what I saw was real or fake. But A Qi also warned me that there were risks. If I judged incorrectly, I'd have to accept a random punishment. I accepted the challenge, full of confidence. 1. Beneath the cherry blossoms, Hagiwara and Matsuda were both tugging at and fussing over the same girl whose face I couldn't make out. Apparently, they'd both fallen in love with our classmate. Hagiwara: Even if it's you, Jinpei, I won't give up XX-chan's heart! Matsuda: I don't need you to give it up. I'll take it myself! Me: Fake. Hagi wouldn't say something like that, and Hei doesn't have a romantic bone in his body. Me: Also, our class is all boys. Hagiwara and Matsuda, regaining consciousness after the error was corrected: ...Aaaaaah!!! 2. In the dorm, Furuya tripped on flat ground and fell on top of Morofushi, knocking him down. As they gazed into each other's eyes, the air grew thick, as if a boys' dorm childhood-friends.avi was about to start playing. Furuya: Hiro, actually, I... Morofushi: Zero, I've felt the same way for a long time... Me: Fake. Rei's type is older women, and Kei said he likes guys like his brother. Me: And what were you going to say after those ellipses? Let me hear! *squeezes in* Furuya and Morofushi, back to normal after the error was corrected: *leap three meters apart from each other in a panic* 3. In the cafeteria, Matsuda and Furuya were bickering as usual, while Morofushi egged them on with a smile from across the table. Suddenly, Hagiwara reached out and wiped the corner of Matsuda's mouth with a tissue, his motion completely natural. Hagiwara: Jinpei, you're ruining that handsome face of yours. *sighs* Matsuda: ...What are you doing?! Me: Fake. Childhood friends wouldn't be so intimate, would they? They're not a couple. Me: Even Wataru's never wiped my mouth for me, right, Wataru? A Qi: ... A Qi: I think this one might be real. Me: ? *looks at Hagi in disbelief* 4. While I was being punished, my childhood friend handed me a bottle of water, but I gave him an accusing look. Childhood friend: ? Me: You've never wiped my mouth for me! Childhood friend: *glances at his muscles* Childhood friend: Are you sure about that, Biscuit? Me: ...Never mind. 5. At last, after making it through police academy graduation with my friends, I thought it would be harder to correct future errors because I wouldn't know the strangers involved. But then I saw an assassin helping an old lady cross the street, my long-lost classmates getting involved in a threesome with a long-haired man, and a one-eyed bald man at a sushi restaurant busting out a striptease. I felt completely at ease. Sometimes it's worth it to (deliberately) fail to spot an error. I have to sell this ship! *raises camera* 1. Everyone lives AU, Iron Man/Red Skull 2. First-person POV, no pairing 3. Comedic slice of life Theme: The world needs more chuunibyou!