Love and Hate

Smiling, smiling so beautifully, while my chest aches beyond control. Ah, what a hateful, hateful smile.

Anything is fine. You can do anything to me, just please don’t wear that smile. Please don’t smile at me.

Kill me. Don’t make me look at your smile, the smile you will never give me, the one that belongs to someone else.

Why torment me? Humiliate me, defeat me. Isn’t that enough? Why make me unable to forget you? Why put a curse on me?

I’ll capture you. Yes, I have to capture you.

Only by capturing you can I make everything return to normal: this pitiful, erratic heartbeat, these actions that keep going off the rails, this self that can never have what it wants.

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