[Anime Crossover] I'm on the Verge of Breaking Down

You probably won't believe me, but I really am the heroine of this story. My name is Mei Qianqian. My surname is Mei, as in Mei [beep] Su, not Mei as in having no money. But that doesn't stop me from being broke. Then one day, someone claiming to be a god (or a lunatic) showed up and told me that if I completed the missions, I could hook up with a rich, handsome guy, eat tea eggs, drink Wahaha, and reach the pinnacle of life. You must think my ancestors' graves were glowing with good fortune. But nope... All I felt was the universe's deep malice.

What the hell, that... General! Put down those boxer briefs! Weren't generals supposed to wear briefs, generation after generation? And you, Cheng Ge! Didn't you promise to turn over a new leaf? Which girl are you trying to hit on now? Wait, while I wasn't looking, L, were you trying to sneak some candy again? That's the last pack of candy, don't do this to me qwq Aaaaaah! You people are going to drive me crazy!

This story is set in a chaotic comedy style. The heroine inherits Shinpachi's perfect skill at delivering sarcastic retorts. The characters belong to me, and the bricks you throw belong to you.