[Naruto] What It Takes to Become Hokage

Blurb: Based on an analysis of documents dating back to the founding of Konoha, we can draw the following conclusions. If a male Hokage doesn't have an Uchiha best friend, then he is basically doomed to die a miserable death. And without anyone to pass him a power-up, take a bullet for him, or fight by his side, his treatment drops by an entire tier. It's enough to bring one to tears, only to be forgotten soon after. Example one: The Second Hokage died in battle, and his body was never found. The first scapegoat, with little presence. Example two: The Third Hokage was taken down by his own student. He stumbled in old age, became the second scapegoat, and had an even weaker presence... Example three: The Fourth Hokage died young and barely got the chance to do anything... His presence... let's not even mention it. Those with Uchiha best friends have a different kind of miserable life... But at least they survive, bumps and all... They all achieve great things, their deeds are passed down through the ages and become legend, and they have a powerful presence. Their scandalous stories are so fascinating that people never tire of talking about them. Well... So, do you want to become a great Hokage?! What are you waiting for? Go find yourself an Uchiha best friend! Theme: