[Football] What Kind of Life Do You Want to String Together?

* Parking the bus is the way of our forefathers. We must never forget it (grits teeth)

Written at dawn by someone whose mental state was shot after being oppressed. Synopsis to be completed. Full of fun and stereotypes...

Dad dreams of Milan, Mom dreams of Arsenal, Sister dreams of Real Madrid, Brother dreams of Bayern.

Unlike most people who swim their whole careers until their jerseys turn blue, white, red, or yellow, Joris was born draped in all five colors, with the flags of four clubs underfoot.

And yet Joris's idol was Liverpool's Steven Gerrard.

Joris: "I've dreamed of playing alongside you ever since the day I was born! I never thought we'd finally be playing together on the same pitch!"

Gerrard, who was barely older than Joris: "..."

Looking at Joris in his blue jersey, Gerrard offered a polite smile.

From the moment Joris showed off his peerless football talent, war broke out at home.

Dad, whose son dreams of Milan: "Sigh! I don't ask you to join Milan's youth academy. I only ask you to consider us when you're 35. Is that too much to ask?"

Mom, whose son dreams of Arsenal: "Go to Arsenal for your youth training, but you are not allowed to be captain. Do you understand? Do you understand?"

Sister, whose brother dreams of Real Madrid: "Little bro, you don't have the kind of aura we're looking for. Go get some experience out there first, then come back. And remember, don't be over 30."

Brother, whose brother dreams of Bayern: "The happiest, most harmonious club in all of football welcomes you! Come to Bayern, little bro! You'd be perfect here!"

Under his family's influence, Joris learned to talk nonsense to people, talk Bayern to ghosts, and talk Milan to Bayern fans.

Through his own efforts, he rose to the top of football's club-hopping specialists.

The fake world's best midfielder, the real world's best club-hopper.

* The Netherlands national team, with Robin van Persie as the pairing. This is a pure romance.

The king of trash talk and his top enforcer (❌

The pie master and his beloved striker (✅

Also known as: How am I supposed to survive in a national team with maxed-out fighting skills when I have maxed-out palace-intrigue skills? Rely on my left hand, my right hand, my inborn club-hopping skills, and the pie-making technique I've honed through hard work.

P.S. My pie is really harmonious and happy these days... Really!

2026.9.7

Theme: Sorry, I didn't mean anything else.