[Football] AC Milan Must Pay for This Moment... Right?

Introducing a die-hard Milan fan and center-forward, adored by the fans and dreaming of horses, my favorite, Rafael Angelis.

Unfortunately, the year he made his debut was the same year his idol Maldini retired, and he was publicly humiliated by the Curva Sud. Rafael flipped them off and promptly earned himself a transfer-listing from the club.

On the day he arrived in the Premier League, Rafael played like a god and set his sights on the Golden Boot. An eager reporter asked, "Rafael! Rafael! Which do you think is better, Milan or Arsenal?"

Rafael: ...

Reporter: Is that a difficult question?

Rafael: Arsenal is the club I've always, longed, to, join... (through gritted teeth)

A reporter asks: Will you return to Milan?

By then, Milan have already been knocked out in the first round by Manchester United. Rafael pretends to be resigned: ⚡I hear you say⚡Milan in the Champions League⚡European pedigree⚡spun around by Manchester United⚡I'm used to it⚡you suddenly get a clean sheet⚡will we⚡see another match this year⚡

Just kidding. Rafael goes berserk in the semifinals and sends Manchester United packing with a fanfare!

Rafael says he feels nothing but hatred for Milan, and never expected anyone to believe him. Especially not his cousin next door! So Rafael angrily opens a burner account just for trolling, where he only draws extreme fans of the two Milan clubs kissing.

Netizens: Damn, that's weird. Let's look again.

Rafael sees Milan fail in the Champions League.

The troll account delivers scathing takes on Europe's top clubs: Barcelona is yesterday's news, Juventus is in decline, Inter Milan's arrogance will be its undoing, Real Madrid is nothing special, and Bayern Munich fell just short!

The troll account mocks the Premier League and Bundesliga on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, calls Ligue 1 and La Liga pathetic on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. What, you ask, does he only bash Serie A on Sundays? Dream on. He'll pick on the kids during holidays and festivals too, since he's got nothing better to do. Rafael takes shots at Serie A every single day!

Troll account: Rafael Angelis, why did you leave?!

Rafael fan: An Little Bird can go wherever he wants!

Troll account: Rafael runs like a chicken with wings, pathetic?!

Rafael fan: You don't know how sublime An Little Bird's treble was.

At first, he only trolled people about tactics, until his main account got into an argument with a netizen who mocked Maldini for not winning the Ballon d'Or. The other guy had his fandom proudly displayed all over his profile, so there was no need to say more. Everything that had happened before became the fire of today's rage!

The troll account finally lost its restraint and quickly drew the other guy's favorite player and his nemesis together, analyzing every glance and every number in painstaking detail. He went from gender-swapping one player to gender-swapping both, from drawing men in a certain way to explicit, realistic depictions of two men together.

A straight guy passing by: What a bizarre troll. I'm out.

A fanfiction girl passing by: What's this? Let me have a bite... Why are there nothing but unfinished stories?

The netizen he'd argued with: Please, I'm begging you, stop using your powers!!!

[Bonus]

The famous soccer troll Strawberry Bro's account has been hacked. The Gmail account linked to it is... Rafael Angelis?!

The netizen he'd argued with: So it was you, you little punk, secretly trolling my favorite player all this time?!

Despairing Rafael fan: What do you mean, my favorite player is drawing fanart of MeRo, Real, Barca, Guardiola, and Mourinho all looking at Milan and hooking up in the Ma household's harem? Who are you? I don't know you. I have nothing to do with this. The player's actions don't represent the fans! Thank you!

[Things to know before reading]

1. The main pairing is probably Modric. They kiss after the North London derby, so there's that 👍🏻

2. The protagonist's troll account ships a lot of pairings. He'll ship anything, wholesome or twisted, including hookup scenes, and his identity will be revealed.

3. The protagonist will return to Milan. Who wouldn't want to see a thirty-something, big center-forward get Milan back on its feet, then take over from the oil tycoon?

4. Career: Milan-Arsenal-(TBD)-Milan. National team: Croatia. It will alter many historical championships and honors, so please decide for yourself whether to avoid it.

5. Stay away from red-team esports teams and enjoy a healthy life. I mean, surely no one else likes TES and Milan as much as I do, right???

6. I don't recommend this to anyone who is genuinely devoted to the blue, white, red, and green teams, or to MeRo. I repeat: fans of both Juve stars, beware!!!

Theme: Center-forward bro: Milan's so stingy. Whatever, may Milan live a long and happy life.