Climbing Out of Hell Is Really Hard! [Hades/DC]

Long story short, dying once is a tragedy. Dying a hundred times is... performance art.

Helione, princess of the Underworld, had two hobbies throughout her whole life (or god-life?):

Breaking out of Tartarus with her brother Zagreus, and stealing every beautiful gemstone that caught her eye.

One day, she found a child by the River Acheron.

Black hair, blue eyes, filthy, but very cute.

His soul burned bright red, his body was covered in wounds, and he refused Charon's ferry. He even flipped the boatman the bird.

...?

Fun.

"Good. You're mine now." She bypassed her wide-eyed brother Zag and snatched up the human boy in strange little green-scaled shorts.

Collecting a human was pretty great, too!

From then on, Tartarus's escape crew grew by one more!

They were creatures from different worlds, but so what?

Same age, rebellious, fighting as soon as they met and then running away together. Puppy love. How perfect!

Break out of Tartarus? Sure!

Go listen to Eurydice sing? Sure!

Watch Sisyphus push his boulder? Sure!

Listen to Achilles's lectures? Sure!

Want to go bother Thanatos? No problem!

Time to walk Cerberus? Together!

Until one day, someone really did come to take Jason away.

Helione clutched a handful of pomegranate seeds and chased him to the Underworld's border.

Just one. If she could feed him even one, he could stay forever.

Just like Father had kept Mother there.

For the first time, the princess of the Underworld couldn't make up her mind.

Many months later, back in Gotham, Red Hood sensed movement during a night patrol.

He turned around and pulled the trigger without hesitation.

"...Oh my gosh, why are you so rude?" Helione appeared in a sorry state, translucent, clutching her shoulder and glaring at him. "Do you have any idea how exhausting it is to crawl out of Hell?"

Before she could finish, she collapsed before his eyes and turned to ash.

Jason: ???

Creatures from Hell can't stay in the human world for long. When their time is up, they die and return. The experience of dying... isn't very pleasant.

A few days later she came back. This time, she lasted ten minutes alive, babbled through the whole explanation, then said, "I'm about to die again. Bye!"

Then she poofed away again.

The third time, the fourth time, and countless times after that.

You know how it is: dying once breaks your heart, but dying too many times... becomes a kind of performance art.

From appearing in a sorry state to casually sneaking into his safe house, from studying pizza to swiping his gun to show the gods of Tartarus what a real weapon looked like, Jason watched her die in front of him again and again. Then one day, while she was sprawled on his sofa, he spoke up:

"I love you."

"Oh, I love you too." She didn't look up.

"Not the way you loved me when we were kids," he clarified. "I mean real love."

Helione froze, then smiled. "Oh. Well... I love you too."

Then she shrugged. "But what are we going to do? We can't date. I'm going to die again in a little while."

Jason watched her in silence. At last, he reached out and ruffled her hair, earning an indignant "Hey!"

"...I'll find a way," he said softly.

Reading guide:

1. A quirky crossover between the game Hades and DC. The main world is based on the first Hades game, with lots of original elements.

2. Helione is a real ancient Greek goddess and an awesome escape-artist duo with Zagreus.

3. It probably won't be very long? This is an alternate-universe spinoff of my previous story, Don't Punch Your Date. The premise was too much fun, so I started a new one ().

4. A light, sweet story with a little angst along the way and a happy ending. At first, two little brats will probably wreak havoc in the Underworld (?), along with their brother Zagreus, who is already causing trouble there. The three kids make Hades's already bad day even worse...

5. There will be original elements and personal interpretations of the Hades setting. I still haven't achieved the perfect happy ending where everyone gets a happy little dumpling (scratches head).

Theme: Love isn't about possessing someone in the moment.