Hunter X Hunter: A Psychoanalytic Report on the Zoldyock Family's Eldest Son

Reborn at three and a half, Illumi made a grand vow: Make the Zoldyck Family great again!

To that end, he drew up a whole slate of plans: recruit the Spiders, invest in a clown, discipline his little brothers...

First, he would start with the calm, rational, and unfathomably powerful leader of the Phantom Troupe.

But ideals were lofty, and reality was harsh...

Faced with a little Spider whose drooping eyes were brimming with tears, Illumi fell silent. "Are you Chrollo?"

The little Spider boss answered in a babyish voice, "Mm. 🥺"

Illumi: "..."

As a law-abiding, dedicated, honest assassin, Illumi was facing the biggest challenge of his life:

How could he get Chrollo to turn evil and return to "normal" without hurting his affection for him?

Chrollo: Want to play hopscotch?

Illumi: No.

Chrollo: Want to dub a cartoon together?

Illumi: I'm not going.

Chrollo: Help me kill someone?

Illumi: It'll cost extra.

Until Chrollo stole a kiss from him, Illumi had always believed there wasn't a single thing wrong with how he was raising the child.

#Don't tell me you think seduction will work on him#

#That's weird. Kiss him again#

#The family rules never said the eldest son's spouse couldn't be a man#

#Suddenly, all those Spiders around Chrollo seem like a nuisance#

Chrollo had always thought his childhood friend was a fascinating person.

He'd been born a villain, yet always somehow ended up saving the world.

He said, "We're just in a business relationship," but always showed a touch of warmth, unlike that of a cold-blooded assassin, whenever Chrollo needed him most.

For a while, Chrollo suspected Illumi was saying one thing and meaning another. Later, he realized Illumi was simply a mean person who did good things.

So...

Getting the eldest son of the proud assassin family all worked up was a perfectly fair revenge.

"Isn't it?"

Chrollo leaned against Illumi's chest, twirling a lock of his smooth, silky hair around one finger as he teased him.

○ Controlling, narcissistic, unbothered assassin seme × carefree, ruthless, resourceful thief uke

○ Main seme perspective + childhood friends who met later + possessive love + love and hate

○ The story starts when they're little, so you can read it even if you haven't seen the original. 😘

○ Content warnings: The seme can get pregnant, with the help of a device. The seme can be innocent or act like a person. Please bear with his absurd antics. The uke's childhood characterization is based on the Phantom Troupe flashback arc. Don't read if that's not for you. The story is based on material up to chapter 416. Later updates to the original aren't relevant to this story.

○ Unlimited inline comments are now open.

Theme: Be the person who treats yourself best in the whole world!