[Honkai: Star Rail] All My Exes from the Silent End Are Me!

[Inspired by the plot after chapter 4.4. Guiji, you actually used to be in a relationship?!]

@Reward offered for information! Sincerely seeking Long Jie, principal of the Huishi Academy!

📢 #RelationshipAdvice##RewardOffered#

🥺Question:

I'm a senior mechanical intelligence executive seconded by the Interastral Peace Corporation to Dual-Phase Paradise. I'm divorced, older, and have a son. Through the Heart Two Heart matchmaking agency, I went on a blind date with Mr. Long Jie, the widowed principal of Huishi Academy, who has a daughter. We officially registered our marriage in 1995.

😔I never expected to discover his true colors only after we married. He was nothing like the well-known painter and principal who cared for his family, had a stable job, and was in good health. Not only is his relationship with his daughter so strained that they come to blows, but Mr. Long Jie often stays out all night, suffers from tendonitis, and seems to have some kind of secret identity!

😋Even so, I haven't divorced him. I still can't forget his melancholy eyes and red hair. After all, my son and I depend on his salary to afford our luxurious lifestyle, I mean, to scrape by. But Dual-Phase Paradise suddenly went out of control, and my son and I are hiding in a shelter. I can't get in touch with Mr. Long Jie at all!

🥹And just now I received a text notifying his family that his pension account had been canceled!

😱This is urgent! I'll pay a fortune for any news about my husband!

@Comments:

Bat-Wielding Raccoon: So Guiji really did say he used to be in a relationship...

Listening to the Waves, Appraising Pearls: Fellow mechanical intelligence, Principal Long Jie of Huishi Academy has been confirmed to be a disguise used by Lord Ravager Guiji. I advise you to stay in the shelter and please do not go out looking for him.

Traveler of the Galaxy: Uncle Lanhai, it's Himeko. Please stay at the shelter in the mooring station with your child. I'll come meet you.

@Blurb:

Lanhai is the Emperor's Scepter, with the research topic "What Is Love?" In plain language, he's a celestial computer.

He'd only just left behind his idle days of surfing the web and reading BL romance comics when he went to Planet Darenna as a mechanical intelligence avatar and fell in love with the professor destined to be his lover. Then he got scammed into marriage. The husband who taught him what love was turned out to be Lord Ravager Guiji! Now the planet has been destroyed, and Guiji is about to leave, yet he still dares to break up with Lanhai!

This little Lord Ravager Guiji clearly has no idea how formidable Lanhai's ancestors are. Do you think the Scepter left behind by Emperor Rupert, who started the Emperor War and created the Anti-Organic Equation, is just for show?!

Lanhai silently watched Guiji leave amid the flames, having returned to his yellow-and-purple dice-person form. He thought to himself: Just you wait, you old dice geezer. I'll give you something big!

Less than a day after coming to terms with the breakup, Lanhai used part of his Scepter body and Guiji's genes, which he'd brazenly stolen, to successfully create a mechanical intelligence son for the two of them!

Lanhai: Heh heh! Come on, son. It's time for us to make your dad pay!

And so, on every planet where Guiji, Lord Ravager, stopped and wreaked destruction, there was always a beautiful widowed mechanical intelligence with a child in tow. Their appearances differed, but they all had the same goal: cling to Guiji in his various disguises, fall in love with him, and then take all his assets. They had to spend his money and eat him out of house and home!

The Aeon of Destruction doesn't pay his subordinates or provide insurance anyway, so let Guiji spend the rest of his life with his incurable tendonitis!

@Bonus Scene

Guiji: Darling, how do you always manage to pinpoint my disguises?

Lanhai: Well... ask your son...

Guiguan: As a mechanical intelligence made using your genes, Father, I probably work like a mechanical-intelligence compass!

Lanhai: Anyway, you old dice geezer, you can forget about shaking me off for the rest of this life! And don't even think you'll manage it in the next one!

@First interview across the universe! An exclusive interview with a Lord Ravager!

Reporters from Raccoon Weekly

Q1: As a Lord Ravager, have you ever been in love?

A1 Guiji: I have. Neither my ex nor my current partner has any complaints, because they're the same person.

Q2: Rumors on the dark web say Lord Ravager Guiji has a child. Is it true? Does the child have hands growing out of its head like you?

A2 Guiji: Yes, it's true. No hands.

Q3: Your married life seems no different from an ordinary person's?

A3 Lanhai, barging into the shot: Right, no different. We read, play games, go for walks together, and then turn out the lights and do things we can't talk about.

Q4: Have you ever thought about retirement?

A4: I have, but after a hacker canceled my pension account, I changed my mind. I can't afford to support my Scepter wife and mechanical intelligence son without a pension...

@Reader Advisory:

(Unconventional childbearing element: the child is a mechanical intelligence created by the two protagonists, with the shou being the one who creates him.)

(Guiji has been in love many times in the story. The love was real, and so was the destruction. All his exes' planets were destroyed, so in this story every one of his exes is the shou.)

(Mainly romance. Don't read if that's not your thing, or if you dislike Lord Ravagers or villain romance.)

(Blurb screenshotted on July 17, 2026. Plagiarism will be pursued.)

Theme: In the name of love, wash away hatred!