My name is Xu Mengnian. As far back as I can remember, there was only one old man by my side. But when I grew up, the old man actually told me he was the greatest hero in the martial world!
What a load of nonsense.
Later, the old man took me up the mountain and told me to call him Master. I looked at the scene on the mountain, then at the people treating the old man with the utmost respect.
Oh no. He was serious.
The old man wanted me to learn martial arts, but I was too lazy. So, to get back at him, I would sneak into his backyard and dig up all the wine he had hidden, then drink it.
What a life.
My senior brothers and sisters all liked me, and I was happy to drink with them. How wonderful!
Later, the old man died, and a group of strangers came up the mountain. Their leader was a peculiar fellow who insisted I was the chosen one, the emperor.
What a load of nonsense!
The man said his name was Xi Xun, and gave me a new name: Tang Yuqi. Then he took me to the capital, built me a grand mansion, and kept me supplied with the finest food and drink.
I was happy to be a good-for-nothing who lived on food and wine. How wonderful!
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I watched the great fire in the distance slowly die out. Xi Xun smiled as he told me he no longer needed me, then asked how I wanted to die. Looking into his eyes, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
Xun, oh Xun, why go to all this trouble? I told you I hate making choices. Why not wait until I fall asleep and put me out of my misery?
Xun, you're afraid of making choices too, aren't you? Otherwise, you wouldn't have brought every kind of wine in the world to see me off.
I left with a great laugh. Good wine, good wine! How wonderful!
From that day on, there was no more Tang Yuqi in this world.
No matter. Xu Mengnian had never existed in the imperial court.
[Happy ending, top, first person, both have had previous partners]
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Theme: Anything goes
