Can a Silly Little Cat Be a Hustler Too?

Also known as "The Perverted Captain Is Actually My Online Crush?" "My Heartless Online Sweetheart" "My Online Crush Is Next Door and Keeps Insulting Me" "Captain! I Think You're So Annoying!" "An Ambitious Little Cat: From Game Companion to Best Rookie" "Esports Storm: The Cat's Revenge" "The Human Captain and His Fluff of a Cat"

A green-tea gigolo kitty bottom × a cold-faced human owner top

Fluffy Planet

Mi Xiaoman is a poor, illiterate little cat who earns a few cans of food by playing games with clients.

He lives in a lousy place and never gets enough to eat.

With nowhere else to turn, the little cat follows an online tutorial on how to make men fall for you.

Step one: Find a target.

He sets his sights on a client who pays by the month.

The client is really annoying and always grumpy, but he has ordered him dried fish before.

Step two: Be sweet, act cute, and send some “interesting” photos.

The little cat grits his teeth and copies the tutorial word for word.

Mi Xiaoman sends him a sweet voice message: “Big brother, it's so cold out, and I'm cold too.”

Photo attached: [A round, plump paw wearing a bow]

Photo attached: [Pink paw pads]

Li Zhun sees the message and laughs in exasperation, then waves his hand and transfers money. Obviously! If I wait even a second longer, this idiot will send those photos to someone else!

Mi Xiaoman stares at the huge sum of 9,999, eyes sparkling.

After taking the money, the little cat thinks he's made it and stops acting cute, replying to messages, saying good morning and good night, or sending photos.

Before long, all the money is gone.

The little cat gets reported for contacting a client in violation of the rules and is kicked out of the club.

The sky is falling on kitty!

Mi Xiaoman whines and goes to find his client again. Fortunately, they still have each other on WeChat.

The client graciously pretends to accept his flimsy excuse. This time, he's learned his lesson: after they reconnect, he only gives him a hundred or two at a time.

It's nowhere near enough for the little cat to spend.

Luckily, the next day, an invitation to try out for the youth team falls from the sky. Maybe his game stats from playing with the client impressed some team. Mi Xiaoman eagerly goes to the interview and runs straight into a cold-faced human.

He's handsome, but so scary.

Mi Xiaoman looks up at him. “You bumped into me. That hurt.”

First-team captain, Grand Slam winner, FMVP, assault player: Li Zhun raises an eyebrow. “Don't act cute.”

Who was acting cute? The little cat glares at him angrily.

Later, Mi Xiaoman discovers that the captain is incredibly strict.

He won't let the tiniest mistake go, scolding the cat with a cold face until his ears flatten in fear.

So annoying!!

Compared to the captain, his hapless client seems much more kind and approachable.

Every night, Mi Xiaoman rants to his client. The client soothes him: That's right, he's so annoying.

“But I've gotten my revenge! I unplugged his computer! Spilled his water! Messed up his files! And even bit his training device!”

Client: ...

Client (sighing): You're such a good boy. You're the best. Well done.

Mi Xiaoman: Big brother, you're still the best to me. Kisses, kisses, kisses.

Li Zhun is right next door to Mi Xiaoman, typing with a weary heart: Kisses, kisses, kisses.

Mi Xiaoman is happy, and falls asleep in an instant, sleeping like he hasn't a care in the world.

Li Zhun puts away his phone, gritting his teeth.

I'm a pervert, and you hate me, huh?

Li Zhun is so angry he has a headache.

You little brat, just wait until I get my hands on you!

Game: The mobile game Peace Elite

Author's Statement

Since this story involves esports and the game has professional tournaments, it is inevitably difficult for the tournament system and schedule (highlighted) to avoid resembling those of real-world professional competitions. The author hereby states that the matches in this story, including any actions by any protagonists or supporting characters and any game content involved, are not modeled on any specific matches. Nor is any content related to real-world professional competitions. None of the characters, including the protagonists and supporting characters, are based on real people or related to any real-world individuals, especially professional players. Please do not draw comparisons or assume any character is a stand-in, including for players in this game's professional league. This is hereby clarified.

Since this statement focuses on the novel, the following only lists the tournament rules devised for this story. They are not the rules of real-world professional competitions. The novel will explain them in simpler terms as well, so readers who don't understand need not worry. The parts of the story that may be difficult to separate from real-world professional esports frameworks include the following. 1. Seasons: two per year. Each season has a regular season, playoffs, and a grand final. The regular season consists of a breakthrough stage and an elimination stage. 2. Advancement rules: The weekly finals and grand finals each have 16 team slots. The top three teams from the previous week's finals and the top three from the regular season advance directly to the next weekly finals and the grand finals. The breakthrough and playoff stages each advance 13 teams. 3. Scoring rules: In the early stages, each elimination is worth two points; later, each elimination is worth one point. A chicken dinner is worth 10 points, second place is worth 5, and points decrease in order down to zero. 4. Player roles: There are four types: assault, in-game leader, support, and flex. 5. Weapon and item names are the same as those in the game, but they do not necessarily match the current version of the game. 6. Other: Each weekly final, playoff, and grand final includes an opening ceremony. Each day of competition includes an opening video, pre-match speeches, the first half of the matches, a halftime interview, the second half of the matches, and post-match interviews. Likewise, the opening ceremony videos, speeches, and other specific content (highlighted) have no connection to real-world professional competitions. Readers are welcome to offer constructive feedback on any aspect of the tournament rules during the serialization.

In short, this statement emphasizes that the tournament system and schedule in the esports sections of this novel may be difficult to separate from established real-world esports frameworks, while clarifying that the specific plot, descriptions, and character designs have no real-world references. This is hereby clarified. The matter will not be mentioned again; the author will focus on completing the manuscript and hopes the story can meet everyone soon.

Xie Lan, recorded and archived on May 21, 2026.

Theme: Competitive sports: better, faster, stronger.