After Becoming Bedmates with the Coolheaded Chief Secretary

[Zhu Qingjia x Xie Jibai]

1.

Zhu Qingjia's husband died on the battlefield in the north. The terrible news reached the Duke's residence less than three months after their wedding.

Her mother-in-law was cold and cruel. She gave Zhu Qingjia two choices: either die to earn the Xie family's prestigious household a chastity arch, or find another man's seed to continue the family line for the second branch.

Zhu Qingjia came from a humble family and had married far above her station. Her own family depended on her, and now, to survive in the household, she had to live at the mercy of others, walking on eggshells at every turn.

Faced with the choice between life and death, she decisively chose life.

But Zhu Qingjia didn't know that the man her mother-in-law had chosen to father a child with her was Xie Jibai, the elder brother of her late husband.

As the Duke's legitimate eldest son, Xie Jibai had the bearing of a crane and the grace of a pine. Noble and aloof, he was the youngest Grand Secretary in the court and a formidable figure who made the civil and military officials tremble in fear.

Zhu Qingjia held Xie Jibai in awe. Since her marriage, they had met only once. His aura was so cold and fierce that she had kept her head bowed and never dared look at him.

How could a lofty flower like him, seemingly perched on an altar, ever be within her reach?

But in a powerful household that devoured the weak, having no child meant being at the mercy of others. She desperately needed one.

On a lonely, rainy night, she went to Xie Jibai's study in her thin clothes and explained why she had come.

She imagined all sorts of reactions from Xie Jibai. She thought he would see her as filthy mud and order his servants to drive her out like a stray dog.

But all she got was a low, somber question from the man:

"Since you came to ask me, sister-in-law, why won't you look me in the eye?"

"Look up at me."

2.

The rain was wild, and Zhu Qingjia's life grew just as absurd.

Xie Jibai agreed to her request, telling her to come to him every night at the hour of the Monkey, but he set three conditions:

"We do this, but we don't speak of love."

"We must observe propriety when we meet during the day."

"It ends as soon as you conceive."

Zhu Qingjia obediently agreed to each one.

The first time they slept together was in his bedroom. Xie Jibai looked aloof and uninterested in desire, but his movements were not gentle at all, and he had no idea how to be tender with a woman.

Zhu Qingjia couldn't take it. Weeping, she left a rosy bite mark on his shoulder.

Afterward, she thought Xie Jibai would blame her, but he merely straightened his clothes and said, distant and courteous, "It's all right."

At first, he always made her face away from him, as if completing a joyless official duty.

But later, they began making love in all sorts of places: sometimes in the study, sometimes in the bathing tub, sometimes in front of a mirror...

They became intimately close. Zhu Qingjia did things with Xie Jibai that she had never done with her late husband, and showed him a playful, coquettish side of herself she had never revealed before.

Zhu Qingjia thought this might ease the distance between them, until she accidentally saw Xie Jibai's attendant clearing away the things in his room she had touched. She also heard a servant say he was about to marry a princess.

At that moment, Zhu Qingjia decided that Xie Jibai loathed her. She was like mud in the rain, staining his flawless life.

So when she finally became pregnant two months later, she unilaterally ended their relationship, deliberately distanced herself from him, and asked her mother-in-law for permission to stay at an estate outside the city for the rest of her pregnancy.

3.

Xie Jibai held the highest rank in the court and was known throughout the land for his aloofness, lack of affection, self-restraint, and propriety.

He was high above everyone else and had never taken Zhu Qingjia seriously. He had agreed to her request to conceive a child with him only for the sake of continuing the clan's bloodline.

But the body often surrenders before the heart does.

In the morning after they were together, Zhu Qingjia would straighten his clothes, and he would hold her wrist, feeling her fragile, easily bruised skin.

He started to lose focus during meetings. When he returned to the residence late at night, he would look toward the courtyard where she lived.

When he noticed other men in the clan paying Zhu Qingjia court, he would coldly have them transferred elsewhere.

Even when passion overwhelmed him in bed, hearing Zhu Qingjia call him by his late younger brother's name stirred a base jealousy in him.

When Zhu Qingjia began deliberately avoiding him and went to the estate to await the birth, Xie Jibai tasted insomnia for the first time in his empty room.

At last, he realized he wanted more than just someone to share his bed.

[Bonus Scene]

During the Mid-Autumn Festival, the Duke's residence was bustling with preparations for the family feast, while Zhu Qingjia stayed alone at the quiet estate to await the birth.

Suffering from severe morning sickness, she went out into the courtyard for some fresh air.

Her foot slipped on the wet stone steps, and she nearly fell. A strong, warm hand caught her.

She turned and saw Xie Jibai, whom she hadn't seen in half a year.

Zhu Qingjia pulled away from his support, her manner distant. "Eldest Brother is already betrothed. It's hardly appropriate for you to be here."

Xie Jibai's gaze fell on her belly. Even through her skirt, he could see its slight curve. His child was growing inside her.

When the man didn't reply for a long time, Zhu Qingjia bowed and turned to go back inside. The next moment, he seized her wrist with a firm grip.

Xie Jibai spoke in a low, hoarse voice.

First: "Zhu Qingjia."

Second: "I regret our agreement."

Theme: Love yourself