A Record of Online Dating Disasters

This story is divided into three short pieces, probably:

1. A pure romance.

Guan Ci is poor and willing to do anything for money.

One day, someone offers him the huge sum of a thousand yuan a month to keep tabs on the social media posts of their secret crush, Bai Xiujing, the famously aloof beauty from the neighboring college.

But Bai Xiujing is so cold that he never adds strangers.

How could Guan Ci turn down a job with little work and great pay? He wracks his brains, makes up a high-school classmate identity, and successfully adds him.

But maybe Guan Ci made the story too convincing. Bai Xiujing believes him and is always chatting with him, dropping hints that he seems to... want to date him.

Guan Ci doesn't dare turn him down, afraid Bai Xiujing will delete him and end his thousand-yuan-a-month job.

He doesn't dare say yes either, afraid the client will find out and kill him, and afraid Bai Xiujing will discover he's a fraud.

He lives in fear, doing his best to keep everyone happy.

But eventually, things change.

The client can't hold back and tries to confess. After getting rejected hard, they run away!

They block Guan Ci.

His thousand-yuan paycheck! Gone!!

Guan Ci sees stars.

Looking at Bai Xiujing, who keeps sending messages demanding a relationship, Guan Ci thinks about his money, torn between worry and heartbreak.

In the end, he grits his teeth and lists the account on a secondhand marketplace.

“Online dating account. The guy on the other end is a super-handsome college student, 188 centimeters tall, with eight-pack abs. He has a nice voice and can sing you to sleep, he's good at school and can help with your papers, and he'll even buy you your first cup of milk tea in autumn.”

Soon, someone messages him privately: “Can we meet in person? I'll pay you an extra twenty yuan if you enter the password yourself.”

For twenty yuan, Guan Ci grits his teeth and goes.

When he gets there, he sees...

Why is it his online boyfriend in person?!

2. A chaotic romance.

Qin Mo hates Chi Ye. Chi Ye is the childhood friend of Qin Mo's ex, a stereotypically straight man. Ever since the ex introduced Qin Mo to his friends, Chi Ye has kept making homophobic remarks in front of him, driving a wedge between Qin Mo and his boyfriend.

Qin Mo finds the relationship pointless and breaks up with his boyfriend. To take his mind off things, he picks up an old hobby and decides to start a new life.

After the breakup, the ex deeply regrets it and wants to get back together.

But Qin Mo won't even see him, and blocks him everywhere.

With nowhere else to turn, the ex thinks of Chi Ye, the person who knows the most about his relationship, and asks him to keep an eye on Qin Mo. He wants to know what Qin Mo does every day and whether he's seeing anyone else.

To help Chi Ye keep a closer watch, he tells him everything he knows.

Two months later, the ex asks Chi Ye, “Does he have someone new?”

Chi Ye, who has just been exposed, with a handprint on his face from his sweetheart, still savoring their recent kiss: “He does. Give up.”

3. A sworn-enemies romance.

Shi Sheng has a sworn enemy named Ning Jishen.

They've been at odds since childhood, and they can't stand each other. But they're evenly matched, and neither can get rid of the other. So they've spent twenty years disliking and tormenting each other.

Because he hates Ning Jishen so much, Shi Sheng knows everything about him.

One day, he hears that Ning Jishen has fallen for someone, and it's unrequited!

What a great chance to laugh at Ning Jishen!

Shi Sheng immediately starts digging for more information, wanting to know what kind of person has Ning Jishen so lovestruck.

As it turns out, the unattainable dream is truly a dream.

Shi Sheng falls for them too.

Instead of laughing at Ning Jishen, he becomes a laughingstock alongside him.

When Shi Sheng and Ning Jishen meet again, they bicker as usual. As they keep trading barbs, they start talking about the person they love, and the two losers get drunk together.

They wake up in the same bed.

The first thing each does when they see the other is run to the bathroom to throw up.

After a fight, they decide to pretend nothing happened.

But then they worry the other might be secretly pursuing their crush.

They're afraid the other might succeed and reach the pinnacle of life.

And they're also afraid the other might fail spectacularly, while they miss the chance to see it firsthand.

So they use alternate accounts to add their crush, hoping to watch the fun.

But this time, they discover that their crush treats them differently. They aren't so distant anymore, they respond to every remark, and every conversation inspires them both.

Shi Sheng starts to like more than just their face. He feels he has fallen deeply in love with their soul.

They're practically his soulmate!

Finally, one day, Shi Sheng runs into Ning Jishen again, with their crush there too. Thinking of all the intimate conversations he's had with his crush, Shi Sheng puts an arm around their shoulder and says, “That movie we talked about is being rereleased. Let's go see it together.”

Ning Jishen refuses to be outdone. “The art exhibition we discussed is open too. Let's go together.”

Their crush says, “But I never said that.”

“I never talked about a movie with you.”

“And I never talked about an art exhibition with you.”

Shi Sheng and Ning Jishen both pull out their phones. “Isn't this you? I've been chatting with you for ages on my alternate account.”

Their crush says, “No.”

Shi Sheng and Ning Jishen: “...”

“Then who exactly have I been dating?”

Theme: Learn to be self-aware and self-reliant, and care for yourself. Put all your attention on yourself.