The Evil God Can't Hear This!

(This will be my next-next book.)

Pure-hearted romantic x Utterly hypocritical

*

I met Ming Chuan on the first snowy day of the year.

Following the clan leader's directions, I found the ancient raised platform. Serving plates and candlesticks lay overturned in disarray. There was no one around. He sat quietly on the platform, with raven hair and snow-white skin, his features possessed of an uncanny beauty.

In the bitter wind and snow, he seemed not to feel the cold. His long hair hung loose, bare feet on the stone tiles, his gaze lowered as it swept over me.

There was little written about the worship rituals of the Nine Mist God. I never expected the "old friend's nephew" Professor He had gone out of his way to find for me as an interview subject to become the offering sent up to the altar.

Even after I wrapped my coat around him, he showed no reaction.

"Did they force you to come here?"

Silence again.

Professor He's old friend would need some time to return from overseas and collect him. After ending the call, I looked at Ming Chuan. "Would you... like to come with me for now?"

Ming Chuan looked at me, tilted his head, then slowly nodded.

*

Ever since Ming Chuan moved in, Chu Zhihua felt that the hallucinations caused by staying up late to write his thesis were becoming more frequent.

Fleeting shadows, time passing at a strange pace, uncanny and bizarre dreams...

"You know," Chu Zhihua said, poking in a straw and handing the drink over, "last night I dreamed the Nine Mist God told me it likes creme brulee vanilla cream puffs with double pearls, and ordered me to put it in my thesis... Innovation doesn't have to go that far, does it?"

Ming Chuan lifted his eyes and chewed the pearls without expression.

"You think it's weird too? Or have I just been working too hard lately?"

Ming Chuan thought for a moment, then pushed the little flowerpot from the windowsill toward him, blinking. The rose seeds had only been bought yesterday, yet today they were already in bloom.

...It had to be that the academic pressure had been too much lately.

Chu Zhihua glanced at the leaves and buds that had sprouted overnight, then at Ming Chuan gazing at him expectantly...

...Actually, it wouldn't matter if it wasn't.

But not everyone thought it was all right.

The exalted god was enraged that his carefully maintained disguise had been discovered in only half a month, and decided to stop pretending.

"You're saying you want to imprison me in my own house," Chu Zhihua said from the sofa, considering the divine revelation he had just heard, "until you learn how to be a human in this world?"

Anyone who's been human knows it isn't easy.

On the first day of promising to be a good human, Chu Zhihua found Ming Chuan in the neighborhood, trying to greet every bird that passed by with his tentacles.

On the second day, Chu Zhihua spent half an hour and ten matcha puddings persuading Ming Chuan to take the elevator downstairs instead of jumping straight off the windowsill.

On the tenth day, Chu Zhihua opened the door and saw Ming Chuan sitting cross-legged on the balcony, grandly announcing, "I've learned how to be human. It was easy."

Chu Zhihua glanced down at the shadow by his feet. It slid over to the fridge like it had done this a hundred times, opened the door, took a little cake, shut it, and slid back to the balcony in one fluid motion. "...Really?"

*

The Nine Mist God was born amid the chaos of war, steeped in evil. The ritual used to summon it had been completely abolished a century ago, and gradually became a closely guarded secret within the clan.

The day it was accidentally summoned by some arrogant young fools who didn't know their place, the clan members fled in panic, afraid of becoming the evil god's food.

As it happened, the student who had arranged to come for an interview a few days earlier showed up just then.

It was a bit of a shame, since he was a cheerful, handsome young man with a promising future. The clan leader gritted his teeth and pointed to the platform at the heart of the blizzard.

"The person you're looking for is there."

When the storm passed, the young man and the evil god were both gone.

Several months later, the clan leader opened the door and found the young man who should have long since become the evil god's food.

"Hello. I was looking for the wrong person last time. I'm here to ask again."

The being no one else could see or hear was obediently holding his hand. The instant their eyes met, twisting black shadows came crawling over the floor, walls, and ceiling, accompanied by eerie, faint shrieks.

"All right, don't be mad. We can talk about it later."

The young man actually took the monster's hand with affectionate familiarity and whispered in its ear.

The clan leader struggled to regain his composure, his hand trembling. "Don't you know? This... this isn't..."

"I know." The young man turned and frowned. "Keep your voice down. He can't hear things like that."

Ming Chuan turned away slowly, refusing to look at the person behind him. Irritably, he rubbed his forehead against Chu Zhihua's shoulder, and most of the shadows reluctantly retreated.

Another failed attempt at pretending to be a modern human today.

He'd been learning from Chu Zhihua for ages. Pretending to be human was such a hassle.

*

Sweet, exclusively focused on the couple, with both leads virgins and a happy ending. A fluffy little romance about golden-retriever Chu bringing an emperor-like, fully automated troublemaking evil god who has slept so long he's clueless about modern society (??) along to learn how to be a law-abiding modern god. The title and blurb might change, but it'll probably be something like this.

*Ming Chuan is an evil god with two completely different faces, one for those close to him and one for everyone else. Chu Zhihua, wearing his eight-hundred-meter rose-colored glasses, will insist, "My husband's just occasionally bad at controlling his magic. He's still adorable, really. ^^"

*Probably not suitable for readers with any extreme preferences about which character gets favored.

[When flowers offer such deep devotion, how can I repay them? Only by getting drunk and falling among the blooms.]

Theme: Born from the humblest beginnings