A Good-for-Nothing Adult

[Magic? Fantasy? An adventure in another world. A fairy tale for adults, written in the hope that we can find our childhood selves again.]

If Li Shangdong hadn't moved to a new city and started a new job, he wouldn't have had to stay at his cousin's place when he first arrived, broke and unable to afford rent, looking after the little demon in her house.

Children are the most terrifying creatures, especially third graders. They refuse to listen, run all over the house, and are experts at wrecking the place. Only beagles are more terrifying.

The hardest part of Li Shangdong's day was going to his niece's elementary school and picking her out from a crowd of little turnips. And every day after school, the little rascal made it her mission to drag him into an intense game of hide-and-seek.

If he weren't living under someone else's roof, he'd have smacked the howling out of that little brat by now, Li Shangdong thought. So when his niece smashed a vase at home and her mother beat her until tears streamed down her face, he stood by and watched, thinking she deserved it.

That's how all children grow up. They need to be hit enough to learn to settle down. Li Shangdong had been beaten as a child too. He called it "a necessary part of growing up."

Li Shangdong closed his eyes and found himself in a bizarre otherworld. He thought it was just a dream, but no matter what he did, he couldn't wake up.

His niece had transmigrated with him, and he carried her as they dodged a deadly battle royale in the otherworld.

"Uncle, run!" his niece shouted excitedly.

"Quiet, you little brat. I have a hundred ways to leave you here," Li Shangdong said coldly.

They stole a boat and escaped the Kingdom of Hearts, only to encounter a gigantic water demon at sea. Li Shangdong despaired. "This is the end for me."

His niece raised her hand. Flames shot into the sky, and the water demon turned into grilled eel and landed on the boat. She asked in confusion, "Uncle, why don't you use magic?"

Li Shangdong opened his mouth, but all he could say was, "Sweetie, your uncle can't use magic."

The setting is modern-day.

Theme: Rediscover your childlike wonder.