[Football] Captain, You're Not Gay, Are You?

I suspect my captain is gay.

First, he and his childhood buddy, that poor guy who married up, are ridiculously close.

Second, he and that Polish striker are ridiculously close.

Third, his butt is really perky.

Really perky.

The captain is such a wonderful person. You don't come across someone like him often. I don't want being gay to ruin things for him and stop him from setting me up with goals.

So I said, "Captain, I love you."

The captain said, "There you go again."

I said, "Captain, take this seriously. I'm confessing to you."

The captain said, "Got it. Go take your temperature."

I didn't. I calmly pretended I was going to force a kiss on him. I hoped the captain would realize that being gay was really scary and stop being gay.

But the captain kissed me.

*So, is the captain gay or not?

Only a straight guy would kiss his best friend without a second thought when they've shared a pair of pants since they were kids, right? (Although the captain only kissed my ear, not my mouth, but that's really weird, right? Right?)

I couldn't sleep.

*Actually, it's about two crafty straight guys

*I'm just making things up as I go. I'll write as much as I write

*Classic Bundesliga: Why did he kiss me?

*Warning: a collection of dumb jokes, with 0% plot or match content + 100% character assassination = this story

Theme: Borussia Dortmund will never fall