Top-Tier Reads for the Deeply Picky: No Masterpieces, No Entry 顶级书荒，嘴很叼，无神作勿入
GPT-6 Luna
In this list
Reader notes translated by Google Translate
2.6k
-
51
My Ex-Girlfriend Has Been Dead for Ten Years. Why Is She Still Messaging Me? 前女友死了十年，还给我发消息？
[Eerie Infinite Flow + Time Travel + Unraveling the World's Mysteries] No one believes that I killed my ex-girlfriend. They say I have delusions. I made up a history that never existed. "Explain this to me: what do you mean, my whole family isn't human?" "You're human." "Wasn't that supposed to be a rhetorical question?" That's how my girlfriend, who died ten years ago, praised me. "Watch out, or I'll find myself a boyfriend to beat you up." Seven-year-old Ye Jinyan threatened me, a twen
612Reads7.1Score108Shelves
Reader note
- 52 She Slept in My Bed, So I Broke Both Their Wings 她睡了我的床，我折了他俩的翼 She slept in my bed, so I clipped their wings. 1.2kReads—Score—Shelves
- 53 The Queen of Pop Is a Thief, and I Personally Sent Her to Hell 天后是个贼，我亲手送她下地狱 The Pop Diva Is a Thief. I Personally Sent Her to Hell 10Reads—Score—Shelves
-
54
This Is Showbiz! No Going Crazy in Public! 这里是娱乐圈！禁止随地大小癫！
[Entertainment industry] [Livestream variety show] [Comedy and memes] [Face-slapping and punishing the scum] [Real and fake heiresses] Wen Yao and the fake heiress were both reborn at the turning point of their fates. In their previous lives, Wen Yao chose a blind date, while the fake heiress chose a variety show. The fake heiress failed to ride on her washed-up brother’s coattails and instead got the whole internet hating her after one bizarre stunt after another! Wen Yao, meanwhile, met the Cr
9.7kReads8.7Score1.3kShelves
Reader note
- 55 Animal City: From the Start, I Was Found by Mr. Big 动物城：开局被大先生捡到 Furry, conspiracy theories, original story, pure love (not a gay romance), male-oriented, male protagonist. The male lead is Kevin, whose love interest is Karen, a white wolf who appears later on. Liu Kai was in the middle of a competition when someone suddenly elbowed him. When he woke up, he found himself in a world full of animals... Wait, isn't this Animal City? He had a new name: Kevin. If you're going to elbow someone, at least do it properly, you busted robot. He also had a new identity h 32.5kReads8.8Score3.1kShelves
- 56 After My School-Bully Childhood Friend Gave My Elite University Recommendation to a Girl With Depression, He Regretted It Like Crazy 校霸竹马逼我的清北保送名额送玉玉症女孩后，悔疯了 After my childhood sweetheart, the school bully, forced me to give my guaranteed admission to Peking University or Tsinghua to a girl with depression, he regretted it like crazy. 8Reads—Score—Shelves
- 57 The Clear-Eyed Beauty of the 1970s Refuses to Accept Her Fate: Book Transmigration 七零清醒美人不认命【穿书】 [Polished Egoist + Pocket Dimension + Love at First Sight + Transmigrates into a Short Drama] [Military Officer] [Joining Her Husband on an Island] Xu Suimei is beautiful and clever. She clawed her way from an orphanage to a top university, only to discover that she still hadn't even reached the starting line others were born at. She resolved to use marriage as a stepping stone, but just as she was about to take the final step, she transmigrated to the 1970s. She became a little girl in a short 13.9kReads8.9Score1.1kShelves
- 58 Wandering Through Mythology, and You Want Me to Steal Jesus' Corpse? 游走神话，要我偷耶稣尸体？ Yu Lin awakened a mythic book that let him travel through the world of myths. By completing missions, he could obtain special abilities. His first mission was… “Steal Jesus’ body?” “Earn a random trait of Jesus’?” “Yu Lin, would you like to attend my banquet?” Yu Lin looked at Jesus, who had just invited him. He smiled and nodded. “I’d be delighted.” 58.8kReads8.4Score6.5kShelves
- 59 The Son I Raised for Five Years Isn’t Mine, and His Birth Mother Secretly Switched Our Babies 养5年的儿子不是亲生，亲妈竟偷偷换走我的娃 The son I raised for five years isn’t mine, and his biological mother secretly switched him with my baby 165Reads—Score—Shelves
- 60 A Half Cup of Peach Oolong Appeared at Home, So I Ruined the Lives of Those Two Cheaters 家里出现半杯蜜桃乌龙，我让这对狗男女身败名裂 When half a cup of peach oolong appeared at home, I ruined the lives of that cheating pair 40Reads—Score—Shelves
-
61
EN
Divine Ability Wielder 神通者
Among the living things of this world, some are born with strange bones. These bones can be inscribed with wondrous arts, granting their bearers immense power: conjuring fire and wind, summoning thunder and lightning, swallowing the sun and plucking stars, suppressing demons and imprisoning gods. These are Divine Ability Bones. Those born with such bones are called... Divine Ability Users.
2.6MReads9.5Score377.2kShelves
Reader note
-
62
A Young Dragon from the Start, and You Really Think I'm a Beggar? 幼龙开局，你真把我当乞丐？
Gods run rampant, and strange creatures are everywhere. In a world gripped by fear, where anyone might undergo a monstrous transformation, a lowborn boy emerges from an old graveyard. He carries a mysterious space where killing strange creatures lets him absorb their power and conjure items. [Legendary creature, Jade-Eyed Corpse: Its eyeballs can peer into the Yellow Springs and read the scriptures of the dead. Requires a sixth-rank martial artist who has mastered a pupil technique.] The sevent
67.6kReads9.2Score6.3kShelves
Reader note
- 63 I Kicked the Scumbag to the Curb! On New Year’s Day, I Reclaimed an Entire Mountain 踹飞渣男！我在大年初一收回了整座山 I Kicked the Scumbag to the Curb! On New Year’s Day, I Reclaimed the Entire Mountain 20Reads—Score—Shelves
- 64 I'm a Good Person, So Why Do You Call Me a Menace? 我一个好人，你们说我是祸害？ [School Life, Everyday Comedy, Hilarious, spiritual qi revival, No Longer Human, Absurd, Shameless] When Qin Ke opened his eyes, he found himself in a parallel world undergoing spiritual qi revival! Right from the start, a bully showed up looking for trouble and asked him if he knew how to write the word “death”! No need to panic. He flipped open a dictionary and showed him exactly how to write it! “Repeat after me: si, as in ‘death’! Its opposite is ‘live,’ as in ‘stay alive’!” If the Syst 54.6kReads9.3Score5.7kShelves
- 65 My Neighbor Says My Red Wine-Colored Slip Dress Is Distracting Her Son from His Graduate Exams 邻居说我晒酒红色吊带裙影响她儿子考研 My Neighbor Says Hanging Out My Wine-Red Slip Dress Is Distracting Her Son from His Grad School Entrance Exams 55Reads—Score—Shelves
- 66 With Your Mortal Bones, How Can You Attain the Dao and Become an Emperor? 你一介凡骨，怎么证道成帝了？ [Invincible, Passionate, No Suffering for the Male Lead, Fast-Paced] A hundred thousand years ago, everyone was like a dragon, and anyone could cultivate martial arts and reach the peak to become an emperor. After the tribulation, the emperors fell, the path to becoming an emperor was blocked, and only a mysterious ancient talisman remained in the world. A hundred thousand years later, martial cultivation revered natural talent above all else. For those with ordinary roots, cultivating martial a —Reads—Score—Shelves
- 67 EN Global Martial Arts: My Martial Arts Can Cultivate on Their Own 全球高武：我的武功能主动修炼 In a world of high martial prowess, my martial arts keep cheating on their own all day... No, wait! I just have moments of enlightenment and train hard for 24 hours a day, that's all! Ning Chuan had only planned to develop steadily and get into a good university. But during the hundred-day countdown ceremony before the college entrance exams, Thunder Sparrows attacked. Ning Chuan drew his blade and killed three in an instant! From then on, he began crushing everything in his path! At the genius 59.1kReads9.2Score5.1kShelves
- 68 Warfire Illuminates the Demoness: I’ll Make the Tyrant Pay in Blood 烽火照妖姬：我让暴君血债血偿 War Flames Illuminate the Enchantress: I’ll Make the Tyrant Pay in Blood 9Reads—Score—Shelves
- 69 The Weakest Summons? A Demon Contract Maxes Out My Talent from the Start 召唤最弱？开局恶魔契约天赋拉满 [Infinite Flow] + [power fantasy] + [lighthearted] + [comedy] (No female lead) (Dungeon-focused plot) He chooses the bottom-tier Summoner class, only to awaken a demonic contract enhancement rune that lets him trade his maximum HP for summoned creature talents. “Summoners are weak? I’ll max out my talents. So, how will you deal with that?” 95.5kReads9.0Score7kShelves
- 70 A Scumbag Wants to Marry for My Money? I’ll Leave Him Penniless! 渣男想吃绝户？我让他倾家荡产！ That scumbag wants to marry into my family and take everything? I’ll leave him penniless! 14Reads—Score—Shelves
- 71 I'm a Rune Engraver. Isn't It Reasonable to Carry a Blade? 我是刻纹师，随身带把刀很合理吧 [Ruthless male lead + one female lead + myths and legends + not a lighthearted leveling story + not an invincible System; new author, enter at your own risk] Years sank into the dark waters; the Great Dao was buried beneath the dust. The vast world changed, and all living things became corpses. The myths of old lay buried in the passage of time. The Great Dao of this world imposed its limits, leaving humanity's path of cultivation arduous and without a way forward. First, the sages gave their li 119.8kReads9.2Score16.3kShelves
- 72 Three Words Revealed My Husband’s Affair 三个字，让我发现老公出轨 Three words were all it took to make me discover my husband’s affair 62Reads—Score—Shelves
-
73
EN
Can’t This Entire Sect Scrounge Up a Single Decent Person? 全宗上下，拼不出一个好人？
[System + invincible + the Myriad Worlds + fiercely protective + sect fiercely protective + decisive and ruthless + master schemer] Chu Luo, a disciple of the Forbidden Sect, has maxed out his comprehension and mastered a whole arsenal of forbidden techniques. But an accident leads him into the sect’s forbidden grounds. Just as he is about to be expelled for breaking the rules, his master, who has been in seclusion for ages, breaks through to the Great Emperor realm and emerges in time! Master:
147.6kReads9.2Score14.6kShelves
Reader note
- 74 Spiritual Qi Revival: I Get a New Skill Every Day 灵气复苏：我每天get一个新技能 [Spiritual qi revival + System + urban life + comedy] Lin Qiu is chosen by 9527 and reborn two minutes in the past. From then on, he can awaken a new skill every day. He thinks he’s about to reach the pinnacle of life, but who could have guessed his skills would all involve spreading seeds, fertilizing, and breeding? What kind of ridiculous skills are these? Where are the promised X-ray vision and space powers? 26.6kReads9.2Score2.8kShelves
- 75 EN In the Cultivation World, I Can Go 50-50 with Anyone 人在修仙世界，和谁都能五五开 In Li Zhoujun's fortieth year after transmigrating to become the mountain lord of an immortal sect, he finally obtained a System that let him match anyone fifty-fifty. Are you a ten-thousand-year-old monster who has spent ages hidden from the world? I'm your equal. Are you an unparalleled Immortal Emperor of peerless elegance? I'm your equal. Are you a demonic fiend whose very name strikes terror into people's hearts? I'm your equal. 66.5kReads9.1Score5.6kShelves
-
76
Older Men!! A Ferrari Is Still a Ferrari, Even When It’s Old 年上！！法拉利老了依然是法拉利
Older woman!! A Ferrari is still a Ferrari, even when it's old.
31.7kReads—Score471Shelves
Reader note
-
77
Half a Life on the Battlefield, Yet I Return as the Same Old War God 战死沙场戎半生，归来仍是旧武神
Wang Xian, a half-step Martial God at the eighth realm of Old Martial Arts, died on an alien battlefield protecting ordinary people, only to return in a dream to his youth in his senior year of high school. In my previous life, I achieved greatness late, reaching the peak of the half-step Martial God realm, only to stop at the eighth realm and die with regrets. In this life, I will use my self-created Starry Sky Body-Tempering Art to forge a starry sky martial body capable of devouring stars and
94.2kReads9.1Score7.1kShelves
Reader note
- 78 Soft and Fragrant in His Arms, the Capital’s Princeling Falls for Her 香软入怀，京圈太子爷沦陷了 Soft and Sweet in His Arms, the Capital’s Top Heir Falls for Her 16.1kReads—Score291Shelves
-
79
EN
Cihang City 慈航市
At Cihang's grand arena, don't show up without a cheat. Chen Feng transmigrated to another world and discovered that the bosses here were unbelievably sneaky. “Let's go level up in the newbie village first.” “Ha! Got you, transmigrator.” “I'll be reborn and buy a lottery ticket.” “Ha! Got you, regressor.” “Fine, if you're going to play dirty, I don't need to pretend to be a gentleman either.” Chen Feng discovered that every time he died, he could refresh and get a new System. A System's power ha
1.1MReads9.2Score130.5kShelves
Reader note
-
80
My Emperor Father Can Read Minds 我的皇帝父亲会读心
[Infrastructure Building Focus ✚ Mostly Comedy ✚ Not Historically Accurate ✚ No Romance] Emperor Wei prided himself on being a wise ruler. His ministers served him well, his harem was harmonious, and his children were clever and filial. That is, until he was struck by lightning. Afterward, he gained the ability to read minds, and finally learned that everyone around him was two-faced, saying one thing while thinking another! Emperor Wei was devastated. So he had been such a failure as an emperor
57.6kReads9.3Score5.3kShelves
Reader note
- 81 If You Won't Write the Memorial, Why Are You Going on the Northern Campaign? 不写出师表，你北什么伐呀！ “This place is so delightful, I could forget all about Shu!” Liu Shan, who left behind this timeless saying, thought he had died. But when he opened his eyes again, he had become Zhao Gou, the emperor of the Great Song. With none of Zhao Gou's memories, he gazed at the officials filling the court and fell into deep thought. They have a chancellor here too? The name Qin Hui might not sound like much, but surely he's as capable in both letters and arms as my foster father! Hmm? Wait, why is there 43.1kReads8.9Score4.6kShelves
-
82
She Ascends to Godhood from the Dust 她自微尘中登神
[Strong female lead + no romance + not stupid] Beneath the Immortal Realm, the world is divided into fourteen provinces: Yunming of Flame, Qinghan, Snow, Forest, Sea, Dragon, Spirit, Sword, Void, and Abyss. Among them live billions of beings. Some are content to remain insignificant, no different from specks of dust; others chase the sun and race the wind, striving to join the ranks of the celestial immortals. She rises from the dust and sets foot on the path to immortality. “My name is Lin Deng
—Reads—Score—Shelves
Reader note
- 83 EN Ten Days to the End 十日终焉 2024 Tomato Novel Annual Peak Rankings TOP 1 | 2024 China Online Literature Influence List | 2024 China Good Novel Award | Over 2 million copies sold (No harem, no formulaic tropes, no invincibility, no System, no mindless antics, no wish fulfillment. Read with caution if these bother you.) Just when I thought it was an ordinary day, I discovered I had been captured and taken to the End. Just when I thought I could escape by continually taking part in death games, people began awakening supernat 1.7MReads9.9Score209.2kShelves
- 84 EN Learning to Slay Gods in the Psychiatric Hospital 我在精神病院学斩神 A must-read hit on Tomato Novel | Original novel of the hit anime Slay the Gods | IP influence on the China Online Literature Influence List | 2023 China Good Novel Have you ever wondered whether monsters from ancient myths lurk beneath the neon-lit city? Have you ever wondered whether gods stand watch over humanity atop the moon hanging high above us? Have you ever wondered whether extraordinary people walk among us in our bustling modern cities, acting in the gods’ stead? In the society ruled 1MReads9.9Score162.2kShelves
-
85
Changhong Funeral Services, One-Stop from Start to Finish 长虹殡葬一条龙
Zhang Fan transmigrates to a parallel world and becomes the owner of a funeral home. One day, while scrolling through short videos, he comes across a martial arts influencer who makes a spectacle of challenging fighting gyms. The influencer stands arrogantly outside a gym, boasting that he’ll go in and knock out the owner’s front teeth. Just then, the Funeral System activates. “After 16 malicious publicity stunts challenging gyms, the chance of getting beaten to a pulp next time is 100%! The cha
15kReads8.6Score1.5kShelves
Reader note
- 86 I Am Uncontainable 我，无法收容 [Lighthearted] [Everyday life] [Managing containment facilities] (Peaked at 600,000 active readers and has updated steadily for over a year.) The sun burned beneath the deep sea, while roots spread across the sky. Gears grew from people’s bodies, and upside-down cities fell like meteorites. Fang Jiu once thought that these things, which existed only in fantasy, had nothing to do with an ordinary man like him. That was until his head was chopped off one night... (The pace is slower from the start 188.5kReads9.3Score28.6kShelves
-
87
The Empire's First Prince Consort 帝国第一驸马
[New book release: The Rebellious Son Is Invincible, the final installment of the Empire Trilogy] Guan Ning transmigrates, hoping to live a carefree life of wine, women, and luxury as a young prince. Instead, he becomes a prince consort whose engagement has been broken off. Rumor has it that no dynasty can last more than 300 years. The Great Kang Dynasty is at that very threshold: a golden age is in turmoil, loyal ministers are being persecuted, and an age of chaos is about to begin. He will top
113.8kReads9.1Score10.6kShelves
Reader note
- 88 Turned into a Blood Princess's Maid, and You Still Won't Look at Yourself? 被变成血姬女仆怎么不找自己问题 [Gender transformation, one-on-one + comedy + sweet romance + pursuing his wife] If the hero turned you from a demon dragon into a blood princess maid, why not look for the problem in yourself? You got hit by a truck on your way out and wound up in another world, so why not look for the problem in yourself? You were reincarnated as a villainous dragon everyone wants dead, so why not look for the problem in yourself? The hero turned you into a purple-haired girl and used all sorts of items to... 5.6kReads9.0Score560Shelves
-
89
If I’d Known, You Needn’t Have Made Me Transmigrate 早知如此，大可不必让我穿越
[System runs in the background, ordinary-person cultivation, not a wish-fulfillment story, tactical spell battles, starting from scratch] Tang Zhen was among the luckiest transmigrators out there. In the eighteenth year after his transmigration, thanks to a spell-copying System with simple mechanics but ridiculously powerful functions, he became the leader of the greatest generation of prodigies in a thousand years of cultivation. The pillars of the righteous sects looked after him with great ca
23.9kReads8.8Score2kShelves
Reader note
-
90
The Galaxy Is My Betrothal Gift! 星河为聘！
[Absurd comedy + 1vN + immortal cultivation + all male leads are virgins + ensemble cast + side couples, do not read if you dislike them] Shen Yun transmigrated into a book, landing in an absurd male-oriented cultivation novel. The original heroine, Bai Qimeng, had a special constitution that drew several powerful men into forcing their love on her. Shen Yun, meanwhile, became the original heroine’s junior sister, a mere backdrop for the plot. Shen Yun was speechless. Shen Yun prayed. Give m
64.1kReads9.3Score7.7kShelves
Reader note
-
91
Storms Over the Northern Frontier 塞北风云
[Underworld Kingpin]+ [Rise to Power]+ [Take Down the Boss and Claim His Wife]+ [Multiple Female Leads]+ [Ensemble Cast]+ [Passionate Underworld Adventures]+ [Scheming and Hilarious] Be an ordinary man: greedy for money and fond of beautiful women. That was one thing I realized after getting out of prison. I used to be an underworld boss who could turn the tide with a flick of my hand. But my brothers were either locked up or gone. I used to be a pushover too, until I met that woman. She changed
42.4kReads9.1Score3.1kShelves
Reader note
- 92 Everyday Life on the Margins of a 1970s Novel 七零小说边缘人的日常生活 [Fictional period setting + transmigrate into a book + no golden finger + works in the city, doesn’t go to the countryside] Though Lin Yingxian works hard to get by, she knows how to be content. After learning that she’s become a minor character in a novel, she continues to live her life in this 1970s setting as usual, barely fazed. But when news comes that housing is being allocated, her life begins to change… Reader’s guide: The story focuses mostly on everyday family life. Neither the male no 29.1kReads9.0Score2.1kShelves
-
93
After Sleeping for Ten Thousand Years, I Was Dug Up by the Great Emperor, My Father, to Be a Villain 沉睡万年，被大帝父亲挖出做反派
[Heaven's Chosen Villain + Cunning + Overbearing + Ruthless + Overwhelmingly Satisfying, Unmatched Domination] Su Jiuxiao transmigrates as the heir of an ancient imperial clan, born with a primordial Chaos God Body. Because the Heavenly Dao is incomplete and he cannot become an Emperor, his father seals him away to sleep within an Ancient Divine Origin. Over the next one hundred thousand years, all the Emperors of the myriad heavens perish. And his father actually becomes the only living Emperor
23.1kReads8.5Score2.1kShelves
Reader note
-
94
Baby, Will You Choose Me? 宝宝，选我好不好
[Print edition under contract] [Forced romance + school days to city life + secret crush + both are each other’s only one] [Troublemaker heir x sweet, well-behaved girl] Shen Wumian’s younger brother rear-ends a luxury car by accident and is hit with a two-million-yuan bill. The creditor is Ke Ran. Ke Ran is a rich young master who has returned from Britain. Born into a wealthy family, he has a bold, carefree face and is a favored son of heaven at the very top of the social pyramid. Shen Wumian
89.9kReads9.1Score9.6kShelves
Reader note
-
95
How Can I Cultivate Without Cheats? 不开挂我修什么仙
[Signed for publication] [Two male leads + cultivation + ensemble cast + equally matched leads + transmigrate into a book + hilarious, passionate wish-fulfillment story] A goofy, flashy show-off who always has a trick up his sleeve, 0 × the cultivation world's number-one prodigy, a cold-faced, adorable natural-born airhead, 1 Unconventionally handsome 0 and beautiful 1, mutual devotion, powerful leads, and a protagonist team with cheat abilities who never have to suffer Xie Weixing was an FPS (
319kReads9.5Score42.7kShelves
Reader note
-
96
I Started by Devouring Gods and Rose Against the Current 我从吃神开始反向晋升
[Urban high martial arts] [Ensemble cast] [No System] The gods descended upon the world, and the Ascenders appeared. At the age of eighteen, everyone can choose a unique path to godhood within the Ascension Tower. But Jiang Qi’s left eye is connected to a forbidden zone. Within the forbidden zone, he embarked on a strange path: he can ascend as long as he eats monsters. The world obtains everything from the Ascension Tower. And my ability is... [When I write the first sentence, the universe coll
238.5kReads9.1Score22.7kShelves
Reader note
- 97 No Living People Allowed 活人勿近 [Inspired by real events, but the setting is entirely fictional] [No cultivation] [Supernatural horror only] The countryside is different from the city. Rural areas are vast and sparsely populated, with too little human presence to suppress what lurks beneath the ground. That's why ghost stories and strange legends keep cropping up. Ask anyone from a village in Sichuan, and they'll have plenty to tell you about supernatural happenings in the mountains and fields in years gone by. Some people 94.7kReads9.3Score8.6kShelves
-
98
War of Resistance: A God-Tier Sharpshooting Manual from the Start! 抗日：开局赠送神级枪法！
As Marshal Ye lay gravely wounded on the battlefield, at death's door, he unexpectedly bound himself to the “Strongest War of Resistance System.” The System grants him divine-level marksmanship from the start, but assigns bizarre missions. [Ding! The Host's powerful indomitable will and potential to resist the Japanese have been detected. Binding requirements met. The “Strongest War of Resistance System” is beginning the binding process... 1%... 50%... 100%! Binding successful!]
9.6kReads—Score475Shelves
Reader note
-
99
Fake Eunuch: I Am the Ming Dynasty's Ninth-Thousand-Year Lord 假太监：我乃大明九千岁
[Mythic Great Ming] [Alternate History] [High Martial] [Great Ming] [No System] Yang Fan transmigrates to the Great Ming Dynasty and becomes a lowly eunuch, witnessing with his own eyes the grand, turbulent age of humanity! A dynasty that has endured for millennia, immortal aristocratic families, heroes of the martial world, mighty commoners, and dragons and serpents rising together! If that's how it is, then I, Yang Fan, will become the greatest man under heaven! I'll shatter the clouds and bec
130.7kReads9.2Score12.8kShelves
Reader note
- 100 Talk Trash and Win Prizes 对骂就有奖 Hao Tie was treated like a pack mule and was about to hit rock bottom because he refused to keep living like one. Then he suddenly got a System that rewarded him for trading insults! From then on, he used verbal sparring to reach the pinnacle of success! 23.6kReads7.1Score1.1kShelves
Other lists with My Ex-Girlfriend Has Been Dead for Ten Years. Why Is She Still Messaging Me?