My Secret Collection of Tearjerkers, So Heartbreaking I Can't Bear to Read Them Twice 私藏虐文，虐到不敢看第二遍

1. 51 他 While He Was Getting Married, I Was Surviving in a Conversion Camp 他结婚时，我在戒同所度日 His Baby's Breath他的满天星Two Male Leads120k WordsCompleted Novel Synopsis My name is Lin Chu, and I’m an orphan. The summer I turned twenty-four, I was preparing to jump into the river. A man named Shen Ci stopped me. He was the heir to an illustrious family, a child of fortune, yet he said to me, “Stay alive. I’ll be with you.” We fell in love. Those were the warmest seven months of my life. Then his mother found out. She sent me to a conversion therapy center and told Shen Ci that I’d only been playing around and had already left. Shen Ci believed her 511Reads—Score—Shelves
2. 52 相 My Longing Runs Deep. Do You Know? 相思入骨，君知否？ Cuihua翠花Ancient Romance54k WordsOngoing The man she loved destroyed her face and took her child. Her entire family was sentenced to death, and she was imprisoned in the Cold Palace… She endured every kind of suffering the world had to offer. Her tears and blood had long since run dry. Who was it that went white-haired in an instant, each word dripping with blood as he cried, “Chu Lingchen, did you ever have even the slightest bit of genuine love for me?” He stood on the execution ground, clad in imperial robes, his gaze cold as frost. —Reads—Score—Shelves
3. 53 死 The One Thing I Wanted to Record Before I Died 死前，我唯一想记录的 He Yuyi鹤羽依Two Male Leads25k WordsCompleted I fell in love with my non-blood-related older brother, but he found me disgusting and sent me to a conversion therapy center. After I got out, my mental state deteriorated day by day, and in the end, before I died, I wrote this 3.1kReads8.1Score647Shelves
4. 54 万 Everyone Hated Her, Then She Showed Her Face and Took the Internet by Storm 万人嫌露脸后全网爆火 Lemon and Cola柠檬加可乐Two Male Leads448k WordsCompleted [Dual male leads] A sickly, universally despised bottom; A seemingly cold and heartless top who has fallen deeply in love. A year ago, Xu Mian was rumored to have thrown matches, and was boycotted by the entire internet. He retired early. With his mother seriously ill and his right hand partially disabled, he became the target of abuse from everyone in the esports scene, like a rat crossing the street, and endured it for an entire year. Caught between life and death, he struggled to stay alive: 12.5kReads8.3Score1.1kShelves
5. 55 万 The Most Hated Guy Is Seriously Fierce 万人嫌他超凶的 Lemon and Cola柠檬加可乐Two Male Leads379k WordsCompleted [Two male leads + rekindled romance + everyone faces their comeuppance + happy ending] A sickly, universally disliked bottom, a top who’s an esports superstar. After receiving a diagnosis, Shen Ning cruelly abandoned Qin Jiu, the only person he had to rely on. Two years later, they met again. The penniless boy from back then had become a rising esports superstar. Shen Ning tried to explain, but a single stab ended all hope. Dragging his battered body along, he watched his beloved take the stage 8kReads9.2Score632Shelves
6. 56 十 Ten Years, One Song of Begonia Sorrow 十年一曲海棠恨 Zhang Dabing张大饼Modern Romance47k WordsCompleted All who love each other must part; nothing in this world lasts forever... Si Chen, my father killed your entire Jin family, and you wiped out my entire Qin family. So I took your two children and the person you loved most. Now we're even. It's settled! 3Reads5.6Score—Shelves

   Reader note

   These books are truly heart-wrenching; the female leads all die in the end.

7. 57 小 The Little Troublemaker Doesn't Have Long to Live 小坏蛋他命不久矣 Lemon and Cola柠檬加可乐Two Male Leads273k WordsCompleted [Two male leads + rekindled love + the pursuit of a former lover + happy ending] School bully, sickly bottom Academic superstar, top On Xiao Yu's birthday, his father locked him up in a conversion camp. From that day on, he lost Fu Zechen, the person who loved him most. By the time he escaped that living hell, battered and bruised, Fu Zechen had discarded him without a moment's hesitation. When they met again, his eyes held no trace of affection, only indifference and estrangement. “You're not w 16kReads9.2Score1.2kShelves
8. 58 前 My Ex Is a Top-Tier Star, So I’ll Ride His Coattails, Hard! 前男友是顶流，我蹭，我硬蹭！ Lemon and Cola柠檬加可乐Two Male Leads267k WordsCompleted [Two male leads + rebirth + entertainment industry + rekindled romance] A beautiful, strong, tragic, sickly bottom-tier actor. A superstar idol top. The day Lin Ran was diagnosed with cancer, he held his final livestream. He thought it was goodbye, but never expected to receive an invitation to appear on a variety show. When they meet again, his ex-boyfriend has become a top-tier star with tens of millions of followers. He says, “Lin Ran, you're so shameless!” He says, “Lin Ran, are you sick?” H 11.7kReads9.2Score1.4kShelves
9. 59 当 When He Finally Stopped Running, He Panicked 当他不再逃跑后，他慌了 Nan Ning Na楠柠娜Two Male Leads313k WordsCompleted I was imprisoned by Shen Moyuan, a multinational tycoon. He said he loved me, yet he broke my legs, chained me with golden links, and locked me in a luxurious cage. He crushed my dreams and strangled my freedom, turning me into a songbird he kept with meticulous care. I escaped four times. The first time, he put a collar around my collarbone, piercing my flesh until it joined with the bone. The second time, he locked me in a pitch-black, soundless hell and took away my senses. The third time, he 7.4kReads8.8Score586Shelves
10. 60 入 Lost in the Role 入戏 June Whispers六月语Modern Romance871k WordsCompleted He told her, “You'll spend the rest of your life paying off the debt you owe.” And so she was thrown into the dirtiest part of the city. Just as she was about to lose everything, he appeared again. “No one but me gets to touch her.” He hated her. He hated her for causing the death of the younger sister who had been his only family, and for leaving without a word. He hated her with every fiber of his being. But that day, when she appeared before him covered in blood and said those words, Wen Heni 270Reads7.5Score106Shelves

    Reader note

    The third book is incredibly heart-wrenching; I cry every time I read it.

11. 61 留 Keep Him by My Side, Year After Year 留他岁岁年年 Ninety-Three Flower Shop九叁花店Two Male Leads277k WordsCompleted (Complete) [Older man + both each other's first and only + happy ending + reborn + groveling pursuit + clingy, sickly beauty bottom × sharp-tongued, irresistible man in power top] Qing Yuan wouldn't live past twenty-five. With his life running out, he did the most reckless thing he'd ever done. He used his debt of gratitude to force a marriage, marrying He Jingxian, the powerful man of Zhaojing whom he'd secretly loved for years. He Jingxian's eyes were full of icy disgust. “You're dying, and yo 4.6kReads8.9Score480Shelves
12. 62 第 The Eighteenth Time I Wanted a Divorce 第十八次想离婚 Listening to Zen Beneath the Snow卧雪听禅25k WordsCompleted The Eighteenth Time I Wanted a Divorce 5Reads—Score—Shelves
13. 63 听 The Wind Whispers, and I Confess My Love to You 听风在呢喃，我向你告白 Wang Chuan望川Modern Romance495k WordsCompleted He spent half her life pursuing her, yet never once admitted he loved her. She dreamed of escaping him, only to realize later that the sweetest title in the world was Mrs. Ji. No one believed she had once been his sleeping pill, or that he had been the man beside her every night. He’s a foul-mouthed gambler with a heart full of love; she’s a prickly woman who keeps her love buried deep. Childhood sweethearts who grew up together, they gamble for love and love through their hatred. It’s a story o 414Reads8.6Score—Shelves

    Reader note

    This is so heartbreaking, I'm so sad about it.

14. 64 离 When We Divorced, I Made Her Kneel and Pay Me Back 离婚时，我让她跪着还 Listening to Zen Beneath the Snow卧雪听禅8k WordsCompleted When We Divorced, I Made Her Kneel to Pay Me Back 6Reads—Score—Shelves
15. 65 同 After the Class Reunion, She Knelt and Begged Me Not to Divorce Her 同学聚会后，她跪着求我别离婚 Listening to Zen Beneath the Snow卧雪听禅12k WordsCompleted After the Class Reunion, She Begged Me on Her Knees Not to Divorce Her 34Reads—Score—Shelves
16. 66 宫 Palace Beauty 宫姝 Clear Summer Xixi清夏兮兮Ancient Romance631k WordsCompleted She dared not love too deeply, afraid it would all turn out to be nothing but a dream. She thought that once she entered the imperial palace, she would be like the other consorts, scheming every day to win the emperor's favor; She thought that once she entered the imperial palace, she would be like the other consorts, with invisible blood staining her hands; She thought that once she entered the imperial palace, she would be like the other consorts. In the end, it was only what she had imagined. 8.5kReads9.2Score947Shelves

    Reader note

    I was absolutely devastated, especially by "The Heart Eater".

17. 67 陪 With You Until Twenty-Nine 陪你到二十九岁 Half a Green Candle青烛半盏31k WordsCompleted By Your Side Until You're Twenty-Nine 78Reads—Score—Shelves

    Reader note

    It can be enjoyed many times, a bittersweet experience.

18. 68 我 My Ex-Wife Is a Yoga Teacher 我的前妻是瑜伽老师 Listening to Zen Beneath the Snow卧雪听禅10k WordsCompleted My Ex-Wife Is a Yoga Instructor 44Reads—Score—Shelves
19. 69 我 I Work as a Matron in the Imperial Palace 我在深宫当嬷嬷 Listening to Zen Beneath the Snow卧雪听禅Ancient Romance16k WordsCompleted I Work as a Matron in the Imperial Palace 3Reads—Score—Shelves
20. 70 尴 This Is Awkward: My Ex-Wife Is Getting Married, and I Still Have to Serve at the Wedding 尴尬，前妻结婚我还要去婚宴上端盘子 Listening to Zen Beneath the Snow卧雪听禅8k WordsCompleted How awkward. My ex-wife is getting married, and I still have to go serve food at her wedding banquet. 4Reads—Score—Shelves
21. 71 追 After Winning Over the Campus Heartthrob, I Started Acting Up Again 追到校草后，我又开始作了 Gardenia Berry栀子莓莓14k WordsCompleted After Winning Over the Campus Heartthrob, I Started Acting Up Again 3.4kReads—Score—Shelves

    Reader note

    🩷The male lead has taken care of the female lead since childhood.🩷When the female lead can't win an argument and resorts to the silent treatment, the male lead comes along, acting crazy and jealous.👄The female lead is always causing trouble and driving people crazy.

22. 72 失 After Losing My Job, I Left with Nothing. Now My Ex-Wife Begs Me to Remarry Her 失业后，我净身出户，前妻跪求复婚 Listening to Zen Beneath the Snow卧雪听禅10k WordsCompleted After Losing My Job, I Left With Nothing, and My Ex-Wife Begged Me to Remarry Her 7Reads—Score—Shelves
23. 73 入 Addicted After Dark! The Elite Abstinent Doctor from a Wealthy Family Falls Hard 入夜上瘾！豪门禁欲医生顶级沦陷 Lan Mengxi岚梦晞Modern Romance227k WordsOngoing [Seductive, Sweet and Alluring Heroine VS Cool, Chaste Surgeon] [Elite Family + Heroine Pursues Him at First + Hero Falls Deeply in Love and Devotes Himself to Her Later + Both Leads’ First Love] Everyone knows that Gu Jinyi, the second young master of the prestigious Gu family, has no worldly desires and keeps his distance from women. He is the moon in the heavens, hanging high above the world. “Dr. Gu, I didn’t mean to take advantage of you.” His hand tightened gently, drawing her closer. His 763Reads—Score107Shelves

    Reader note

    I felt so sad and heartbroken after watching it; I felt so sorry for the female lead. 🥺

24. 74 爱 Love Has No Return 爱无归期 A Lady一个娘子Modern Romance54k WordsCompleted When Yun Sheng married Li Xijue, she was determined to keep trying until she hit a brick wall. She couldn't believe he could simply forget her completely. Later, the wall crumbled, and her heart died. The three-year marriage she had staked everything on fell apart. When she woke from her dream, her family was ruined and she had lost spectacularly. Only then did she finally understand: the man who never once looked her way, even when she was terminally ill, had always wanted to send her to her de 175Reads6.7Score—Shelves

    Reader note

    It was so heartbreaking it made me question the meaning of life. The female lead died in the end, and the male lead regretted it for the rest of his life.

25. 75 结 A Month Before Our Wedding, I Caught My Fiancée and Her Best Friend in a Hotel Secret 结婚前一个月，我在酒店撞见未婚妻和她闺蜜的秘密 Listening to Zen Beneath the Snow卧雪听禅9k WordsCompleted A Month Before Our Wedding, I Caught My Fiancée Sharing a Secret with Her Best Friend at a Hotel 5Reads—Score—Shelves
26. 76 我 My Girlfriend Is Intersex 我的女友是雌雄同体 Listening to Zen Beneath the Snow卧雪听禅Marriage & Romance13k WordsCompleted My Girlfriend Is Intersex —Reads—Score—Shelves
27. 77 清 My Pure and Innocent Wife Cheated with a Foreigner. The Reason? Her Husband Was Too Gentle 清纯老婆出轨老外，原因竟是老公太温柔 Listening to Zen Beneath the Snow卧雪听禅6k WordsCompleted My Pure and Innocent Wife Cheated with a Foreign Man. The Reason? Her Husband Was Too Gentle —Reads—Score—Shelves
28. 78 冷 The Cold Young Master's Substitute Wife 冷少的替身妻 Xixi Wanqing汐汐晚晴Modern Romance2.6M WordsCompleted “From today on, you are the wife of me, Leng.” He is cold and ruthless, a devil in the eyes of others. She is the Qin family's adopted daughter. To settle a debt, she became a stand-in for the real darling of the Qin family. As her heart slowly falls, can she hold on to this marriage bought with money... 635Reads7.7Score101Shelves

    Reader note

    This book is incredibly heart-wrenching; I cried several times while reading it. The beginning was absolutely agonizing.

29. 79 我 I Spent 100,000 on My Girlfriend, and She Went to School as a Study Companion 我给女友花了十万，她去学校做伴读 Listening to Zen Beneath the Snow卧雪听禅8k WordsCompleted I Spent 100,000 on My Girlfriend, and She Became a School Companion Reader 14Reads—Score—Shelves
30. 80 交 After Dating Three Black Men, She Returned Home and Married an Honest Man for a Bride Price of 280,000 交往过三个黑人，回乡二十八万彩礼嫁给老实人 Listening to Zen Beneath the Snow卧雪听禅7k WordsCompleted After Dating Three Black Men, She Returns to Her Hometown and Marries an Honest Man for a 280,000-Yuan Bride Price —Reads—Score—Shelves
31. 81 婚 The Avenger at the Wedding: I Love You from Hell 婚礼上的复仇者：我在地狱爱你 Xi Fengyue西枫月8k WordsCompleted The Avenger at the Wedding: I Love You in Hell 56Reads—Score—Shelves

    Reader note

    Short Stories of Tragedy Are Coming

32. 82 出 I Regret Studying Abroad 出国留学我后悔了 Listening to Zen Beneath the Snow卧雪听禅25k WordsCompleted I Regretted Studying Abroad 3Reads—Score—Shelves
33. 83 博 The Year I Got My PhD, I Sent My Advisor to a Psychiatric Hospital 博六那年，我送导师进了精神病院 Xi Fengyue西枫月7k WordsCompleted In my sixth year of doctoral studies, I sent my advisor to a psychiatric hospital. 15Reads—Score—Shelves
34. 84 鲛 The Merman Has Lost All Hope 鲛人他心灰意冷 Hua Xi花溪Two Male Leads32k WordsCompleted The merman Chen Xiao was lured to the human world by Murong Jing's promises of love, never imagining that a trap had been laid for him long ago! He was imprisoned in the imperial dungeon and tortured day after day. It was all because Murong Jing wanted to take his most precious merman pearl and use it to save his seriously ill first love! After learning the truth, Chen Xiao died in despair. But Murong Jing had always said Chen Xiao disgusted him. So why did he go mad and try to bring him back to 829Reads8.0Score101Shelves

    Reader note

    "Shut up! Everything I did—meeting you, getting to know you, even being with you—was all for your mermaid pearl." [Crying][crying][crying][crying]

35. 85 得 Out of Reach 得不到 Soy Milk Auntie豆浆大妈Two Male Leads221k WordsCompleted “He’s just a sickly weakling. Wouldn’t it be better if he died? Was I, Yuchi Mu, born to donate bone marrow to some sickly weakling? Why should I give you what you want?” “You deserved to die young. Even if you died, I wouldn’t cry at your funeral.” “The living can’t compete with the dead? What a joke!” Yuchi Mu had waited so long for the news of Lin Xi’s death to finally arrive. But before he could feel any happiness, Xiao An’s attitude toward him grew even harsher. “Yuchi Mu, you’re the one wh 530Reads8.6Score—Shelves

    Reader note

    I cried so much from the first book that my eyes were swollen 😭, it took me a long time to recover. They were both quite heart-wrenching. Reading two angst-filled novels in one day was too much for my little heart.

36. 86 抽 The Day They Drained My Marrow, Mr. Jiang’s Stand-In Died 抽干骨髓那天，江总的替身死了 Xi Fengyue西枫月Female-Channel Fanfiction6k WordsCompleted The day his bone marrow was drained, General Manager Jiang’s stand-in died 61Reads—Score—Shelves
37. 87 闺 My Best Friend Got Pregnant by a Black Man, Then Blamed Her Ex-Boyfriend 闺蜜与黑人交往意外怀孕，赖上了前男友 Listening to Zen Beneath the Snow卧雪听禅11k WordsCompleted My Best Friend Accidentally Got Pregnant by a Black Man, Then Tried to Pin It on Her Ex —Reads—Score—Shelves
38. 88 梧 Wutong Lane 梧桐巷 Song Che Doesn't Eat Fish宋澈不吃鱼Modern Romance174k WordsCompleted [Bright and kind-hearted Ning Wan x gentle genius Song Qingyan] [Love at first sight + Secret love comes true + Youthful heartache + BE] When the innocent, sunny Ning Wan fell in love with Song Qingyan at first sight, he was the golden boy in everyone's eyes. She wrote her secret feelings in her diary, planning to keep them to herself. By a twist of fate, Song Qingyan became her temporary guardian. During the days when she was ostracized and bullied, he became the light in her life. She held on 27.9kReads9.6Score6.3kShelves

    Reader note

    I disagree that there is no Wutong Lane.

39. 89 丑 The Ugly Slave 丑奴儿 Not Me非。我Two Male Leads405k WordsCompleted Cheng Huan acts up and does whatever he wants in front of the emperor. He thought that no matter how harshly the emperor punished him, he would never actually hurt him. But when that cup of poisoned wine was brought before him, he finally understood that it had all been one enormous misunderstanding... 135Reads9.2Score—Shelves
40. 90 婚 The Wedding Became a Funeral, and the Ruthless CEO Went Gray Overnight 婚礼变葬礼，疯批霸总一夜白头 Xi Fengyue西枫月7k WordsCompleted A wedding turns into a funeral, and the ruthless CEO goes gray overnight. 47Reads—Score—Shelves
41. 91 欺 Deceiving the Emperor 欺君 What a Huge Pot好大一口锅Two Male Leads142k WordsCompleted When Lin Xianzhi was fifteen, she fell from a tree, and apricot blossoms drifted down all around her. Yun Ran could never look away again. When Yun Ran turned twenty, Lin Xianzhi placed a jade pendant in his palm during his coming-of-age ceremony and kissed him before she could stop herself. In the haze of the moment, Yun Ran thought it was just a beautiful dream brought on by wine. When Lin Xianzhi was twenty-two, she went as an envoy to Qing and brought the hostage Su Yunjing back to Chu unhar 2.5kReads9.4Score367Shelves
42. 92 夫 Husband and Wife Become Outlaws to Avenge Their Daughter 夫妻化身法外修罗为女报仇 Xi Fengyue西枫月7k WordsCompleted A Couple Become Outlaws to Avenge Their Daughter 7Reads—Score—Shelves
43. 93 偏 Favoritism Doesn’t Raise Dutiful Children 偏心养不出孝子 Shangguan Xuan'er上官轩儿28k WordsCompleted Favoritism Doesn’t Raise Dutiful Children 5Reads—Score—Shelves

    Reader note

    "Smash—" The kettle of water hit me as I stood next to my dad's dining table. I remember it clearly; it was a plastic thermos, red in color, faded to a pinkish hue after many years, probably about ten years old. But that day, it wasn't for pouring water; it was for hitting someone. —2

44. 94 清 Qingqing: The Aesthetics of Unrequited Love Tragedies, Part 3 清清（暗恋BE美学三部曲03） Meng Zhiwan孟栀晚Urban125k WordsCompleted Back in middle school, Xie Zeyang met Shen Bingqing. Their names were almost the opposite of their natures: he was as cold as ice, while she burned bright as the sun. He could still vaguely recall every time they parted when they were young. At thirteen, beneath the lights at the entrance to an alley. She waved with a radiant smile and said to him, “See you tomorrow, class monitor!” At seventeen, on the beach on a midsummer night. She poked her head out of the tent, eyes crinkling as she called 23.3kReads9.6Score5.8kShelves

    Reader note

    These heart-wrenching stories made me re-examine the definition of "perfection"—perhaps it is precisely the imperfections in these stories that allow us to more deeply appreciate the complexity of life. They reminded me that unspoken love and unfulfilled wishes in reality deserve to be cherished. (After reading these novels, all I can say is that they were incredibly heart-wrenching, so incredibly painful it made my heart ache.)

45. 95 死 On the Seventh Day After My Death, He Dug Up My Grave 死后第七天，他刨开了我的坟 Xi Fengyue西枫月Female-Channel Fanfiction7k WordsCompleted On the seventh day after my death, he dug up my grave. 75Reads—Score—Shelves
46. 96 撕 She Came Back After I Tore Up My Dead Wife's Photograph 撕碎亡妻遗照后，她回来了 Xi Fengyue西枫月8k WordsCompleted After She Tore Up Her Late Wife’s Portrait, She Came Back 26Reads—Score—Shelves
47. 97 暗 The Sad Little Thing Called Unrequited Love 暗恋这件难过的小事 Meng Zhiwan孟栀晚Modern Romance122k WordsCompleted Lin Xu has a crush on the popular boy Ye Feng, and she remembers countless little details about him. Every day, Lin Xu times her departure down to the second, getting dressed and putting on her shoes in a hurry, all for the chance to catch a fleeting glimpse of his back. The music playing during the long break outside her classroom is Xu Song’s “Moon over Luzhou.” Lin Xu knows it’s the favorite song of Ye Feng, the school radio station’s announcer. Lin Xu has even stayed up all night organizing 77.1kReads9.7Score13.5kShelves
48. 98 虐 Brutal!!! On My Wedding Day, My Ex Sent Me His Ashes 虐！！！结婚当天，前任寄来他的骨灰 Xi Fengyue西枫月5k WordsCompleted Angst!!! On their wedding day, her ex sent over his ashes. 31Reads—Score—Shelves
49. 99 幸 Lucky to Find You After We Married 幸得婚后相遇时 Bale Bajiao芭了芭蕉Modern Romance1.0M WordsCompleted On our wedding night, Gu Yanzhi got a phone call and left me. The moment he walked away, I knew that all my years of effort had still come to nothing. Because the woman he loved had come back. “Fu Xiaotang, let’s get divorced!” “We only got married yesterday.” “You know I don’t love you, and I never will.” 137Reads8.0Score—Shelves

    Reader note

    Highly recommended! You won't be able to tear yourself away after reading any of them.

50. 100 暗 This Grand, Silent Drama of Unrequited Love 暗恋这场声势浩大的哑剧 Meng Zhiwan孟栀晚Modern Romance126k WordsCompleted A bittersweet youthful school romance about unrequited love from popular author Meng Zhiwan, and a companion novel to The Sad Little Thing Called a Secret Crush and The Late Sound of Drizzling Rain. This one-sided love story is a silent play with just one actor: me. Also known as The Moment I Speak, My Voice Disappears. Lonely girl Chen Ji VS sunny boy Lin Jingye. I carefully cherished you, and you became the only spring I ever had in my life. “Chen Ji, may you always be safe and well, overcome 21.6kReads9.6Score4.3kShelves

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