Becoming a Big Shot in a Comic

The subject matter is quite good, and the writing is not bad, but I feel that the pace is too slow, and it feels like it should be fast or slow, or slow. Especially the second half of the plot so far, there are some places that are too detailed, and I don't feel too comfortable at the moment. But finally there is such a comic plus a forum theme. It's not just to extend my life. I'm touched. I hope the author can write better and better.

Let's talk about the advantages first: the plot is quite good, the characters are also portrayed in detail, and everyone feels flesh and blood. Disadvantages: 1. The beginning is too cumbersome. I keep buying equipment. The beginning is very important. If you don't get into the theme or fun point quickly and there is no description, it is easy to go directly. 2. Although the characterization is quite good, it is a bit too much. A plot can be very long. I feel that some rhetoric and content can be deleted appropriately. 3. "Silent for 1 second" appears too frequently. Because I listen to books, it is very uncomfortable. I think it can be replaced by "paused", "stupefied for a moment", or even changed to "silent for a while". It always makes me uncomfortable to listen to it every second. It can also be changed according to the context, such as "a little overwhelmed", "screaming crazy in the heart", "not knowing how to respond for a while", etc. The above is purely a personal opinion. My sense of listening to books may be different from that of reading. After all, reading can skip tedious stages and the content of the mall can be skipped quickly, while listening to books requires manual skipping. Sometimes I feel the pace is a bit slow even when I drive twice as fast. Say important things three times: don't spray, don't spray, don't spray. After all, reading novels is your own business. You will know whether you like it or not after reading it. I hope everyone will read it first. I just provide a suggestion and express some of my opinions. Thank you [laughs]

The descriptions in some places gave me the feeling that AI was used, and sentences were broken in places where there was no need to break them, just like the writing style in Tomato short stories. But the plot and character settings are pretty good [OK] I can't do it anymore. These periods make me feel so uncomfortable. The smell of AI is too strong, my family, I can't stand it anymore

It looks good. Although some plots of the heroine are handled strangely, it is overall very good to watch. Especially the players in the first closed beta test, everyone is so helpful to each other and warm. The official is more thoughtful. I hope that the heroine will actually buy the identity plot of the closed beta test.

Progress: 72 Very good, very appetizing subject matter. The heroine pretends to be a boss, but she is probably the boss in the first place, or has lost her memory, been sealed, or gone back in time. The heroine was quite lively and cheerful at the beginning. From the moment she joined the national team, not only did her voice disappear from the system, but she also became invisible. It gave me the feeling that she had changed so much, like she was a different person. From a cute little sweet girl to a cold boss who rarely talks, it can be understood that she is pretending to be a boss, but why is she pretending to be a boss in front of readers. At first I thought it was a type that could be easily filled with cups, but once I entered the dungeon, it became a bit heavy, and the gold content of the dungeon increased. What is Tiandao, the author of the comic, mentioned at the beginning, hiding? Looking forward to the follow-up.

Overall, this book is pretty good. The main plot is quite interesting. The heroine only needs to grow up a little to become invincible. The logic is relatively smooth, and most of the words used can reflect the love for her daughter. But the shortcomings of this book are also obvious: there are too many meaningless descriptions. Large sections are devoted to descriptions of characters' expressions, movements, and scenery. It gives the impression that the interactions between characters are very slow, as if everyone is taking their time. Some descriptions are also quite embarrassing, especially as they get more serious in the later chapters. These chapters are already unbearable. Maybe the author has become busier and uses more tools to assist... This kind of description has caused many plots to be very strange. For example, many simple plots coupled with this kind of description will make people analyze a lot of meanings, but if you continue to read, you will find that the analysis is completely unnecessary. All in all, it was painful to watch. Alas:-(See you soon.

I saw Chapter 28 → First of all, the pace of the beginning is slow, and a lot of space is used to describe the heroine's life experience and the settings that are related to the rest, but it is too long. Then there is the introduction that says there are many official Dragon Kingdom scenes. Even if the hidden identity of the heroine is not found out later, there are still suspects. The five of them are familiar with each other and can still carry the peace charm with them every day. It is found that everything is normal with the heroine. It can be completely figured out. A group of people are chattering and a lot of people are waiting for one person to show up (how can anyone be so stupid when there are so many scenes) In the end, the supporting characters had too many dialogues. Knowing that the people who came out of the first dungeon are not normal and express themselves in different ways, only talking more and talking less, the image of the supporting characters did not stand up. Especially when Li Xue knew that the heroine's identity was Zai Zai. What if Zai Zai suffered a loss? Zai Zai must be very sad and could only cry secretly alone... Zai Zai, after finally finishing 27 and 28, I came to the second level. (It seemed like the system was very protective of the heroine and gave her a lot of equipment. It was a pity that I left before the show started.)

Like it very much! ! However, I feel that the pace will be relatively slow. I probably understand that the author wants to create vivid characters, so some pages are longer, but the whole episode is a group chat is really a bit exaggerated) I have to say that it is indeed successful, the character development is OK, and one more thing, can the heroine stop being silent? She feels so silent. . ) There is just a little too much silence.) These are all minor and innocuous problems, because the author's overall thematic content and cheats are what I like to read! ! !

The plot is novel, the writing is also very good, it requires using your brain, and the time loop seems to be quite complicated, but I like it. It is probably a real and fake world. I have been living in a copy, and then suspected that everyone is an NPC. Then after the protagonist obtains the memory of the first internal beta, it seems that the time loop is closed when he blocked an attack on his brother's safety charm at the beginning. The author's imagination is very big and rich. I heard them say that there is some AI, but I think it is quite good-looking. It is worth recommending [Like][Like][Like][Like] The only drawback is probably that I encountered this book too early! It's not enough to read at all [smiles] Well, although they say some of them are written by AI, I can't tell. It feels like it's written by AI and it feels like an exam. I think this book is okay. Maybe some of them were modified by AI [Thinking]

This book is overall very good, the story line is okay, the characters are well drawn, and the emotional lines are delicate. Moreover, the official book is not the background board or path in other novels of this type. The official version of this book is conscious. The heroine is the kind of person who has force (given by the system), plays behind the scenes, and pretends to be a boss. It really pokes me, everyone is very nice, I look forward to a follow-up post [send heart][send heart][send heart]