A 600-Pound Wild Boar: Is It Really Reasonable to Kill It with One Punch?

On the day he leaves his job, the doctor tells him: “Lung cancer. You’re going to die.”

Zhao San: “Fine. Then I’ll livestream the Five-Animal Exercises before I go.”

But then

“Ding! The Host doesn’t want to kick the bucket. The strongest traditional martial arts System is now online!”

“Reward: Mastery of the Five-Animal Exercises = 300 years of life!”

“Reward: Great Mastery of Tai Chi = smash granite with your bare hands!”

Zhao San: ???

So Zhao San livestreams in a thin shirt on a snowy day, while viewers laugh and call him a “living ice sculpture.”

Ten minutes later, steam rises from Zhao San’s head as he splits an old pine tree with one punch. The viewers drop to their knees in unison:

“Bro, that’s not health training. That’s a cultivation cheat!”

A wealthy beauty sends him five Super Rockets on the spot: “Don’t stop, big brother! I can spend more!”

A top-tier star fitness blogger challenges him to a match, showing off with 200 one-handed push-ups?

Zhao San: “Make way. I can turn this into an ice spike in three seconds.”

The blogger: “...Sorry to bother you.”

The next day, Zhao San happens to rescue a kidnapped child on the road, then promptly hurls three 600-pound wild boars away. The police say:

“The suspect has been... beaten to tears by a helpful citizen. Here’s a 160,000-yuan reward. Thank you!”

Zhao San: “I was really just passing by.”

The whole internet goes wild: #TheWaterHaulingGuyIsActuallyALiveCheat#

The platform CEO begs him to sign a contract in the middle of the night: “Name your terms!”

Zhao San: “This contract is a rip-off. Change it, or I’m logging off.”

CEO: “We’ll change it! Right away!”

From then on, one saying spreads through the livestreaming world:

“When Zhao San goes live, it’s online cultivation.

Wild boars see him and quit the internet overnight.

Cancer cells see him and explode on the spot.”

Want to see how Zhao San turns lung cancer into a six-pack?

Come on, follow me. Tomorrow I’ll teach you how to send the King of the Wild Boars to the afterlife with one punch!