Genshin Impact: When a Troll Joins a Chat Group

Genshin Impact + Honkai: Star Rail + chat group + troublemaker + Shiyu Kasumigaoka I, Ye Fan, transmigrated to Teyvat and landed in a Hilichurl cooking pot from the start. I get it now! Combat strength doesn't matter. Luck and having powerful people to lean on are what count! I freeload at Wanmin Restaurant, sleep in coffins at Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, and team up with Hu Tao to market a “Cloudtop Immortal Abode” funeral home. But the greatest fun is spreading rumors to retired Geo Archon Zhongli that he “doesn't understand people,” then livestreaming his fake-death plan right in front of him! Zhongli's hand trembles ever so slightly as he holds his tea, while I laugh to myself: showing off in front of a true god feels amazing! I thought my life of mischief was complete, but then a ridiculous chat group spanning the Myriad Worlds suddenly activated. And the group members are no joke: sharp-tongued upperclasswoman Shiyu Kasumigaoka and former Anti-Entropy Sovereign Welt Yang. I use “quantum mechanics” to force an explanation, turn around and spoil their futures, then casually ask Uncle Yang to be my adoptive father and convince him to research elemental power for me. After awakening the Path of Trailblaze, I stab myself in front of Zhongli and shout, “I have ascended to godhood!” I casually open a random portal, only for it to lead straight to the Sanctuary of Surasthana, where I witness the Lesser Lord Kusanali being held captive. “Little Nahida, be my daughter!” I scoop up the white-haired little grass god and run, then tag Welt Yang in the group chat: “Dad, congratulations, you've become a grandpa!” With my new daughter and Xiangling the chef in tow, I head to Mondstadt, steal Kaeya's lines, and scare Venti sober. Looking at the Anemo Archon and the Dendro Archon staring at each other in bewilderment, I smile with satisfaction. Sure enough, I've turned Teyvat into exactly the world I wanted!