The King of Hell Made Me a Top-Tier Star in the Mortal World

By the time I drank my third bowl of Meng Po Soup, I’d become the laughingstock of the underworld. The King of Hell pounded the Book of Life and Death and roared, “Su Wan! If you can’t remember the reincarnation process, you’re going to the mortal world to become an influencer and atone for your sins!” So I was reborn as a C-list celebrity. On my very first livestream, I meant to say “livestreaming my sob story” but instead said “livestreaming the King of Hell’s sob story.” The comments went wild: “Did this girl escape from the underworld or something?”

And it gets even better. I joined a survival show, and while everyone else chewed on tree bark, I pulled out a specialty of the underworld, a “Forget Your Worries Biscuit.” One bite lets you see your ancestors visiting you in a dream. During a makeup livestream, I applied foundation so pale it looked like literal graveyard makeup. Haters called it “zombies on the loose,” but it accidentally popularized “underworld makeup,” and even a coffin shop hired me as its spokesperson. The most ridiculous part was when I took a face-first tumble on the red carpet, splitting my dress to reveal leggings printed with the “Rebirth Mantra.” The next day, the hot search was blowing up: “Are the runes on Su Wan’s clothes actually a lost soul-suppressing talisman?!”

When I was invited onto the talk show Ghosts Tonight, the host had just asked, “Have you ever seen a real ghost?” when a shadow in an official’s robes suddenly floated up behind me. The audience thought it was a special effect and showered the show with tips. I was the only one crying as I hugged the microphone: “King of Hell! I thought I was supposed to atone! What do you mean by sending the Black and White Impermanence to pose as guests?!” While the whole internet laughed itself silly, the top donor who kept sending “hell banknotes” in my livestream suddenly appeared in person and took off his mask. Well, would you look at that! It was the King of Hell himself, the one I was always making so mad he’d slam his desk!