The Longevity Pearl Led Me Astray! I Just Want to Lay Low Until the End of Time

[Not a power fantasy + survivalist cultivation + comedy + forced cultivation + forced showboating + subverting tropes + no heroine + no System + fast-paced + no angst + concise, no dragging things out + chapters stockpiled]

Longevity Pearl: An ancient treasure accidentally created through alchemy. It has an extremely simple yet overbearing function: it forcibly fuses with the first living being it touches, granting them the trait of “longevity” (unlimited cell regeneration, extremely slow aging, and near-immortality). Longevity doesn’t mean invincibility. Injuries still hurt, and you can still be killed (though it’s harder to kill you), and the pearl cannot be removed on its own. It provides no cultivation techniques or boosts to strength. It’s purely a “life-lock cheat.”

· Protagonist: Gousheng (later he might choose a Daoist title, such as “Changsheng” or “Master Gou,” though others may still call him Gousheng). An ordinary village boy: clever, timid, careful about staying alive, and a little crafty. His only real goal is to live in peace. He has no interest in fighting, killing, or making a name for himself.

· World: A classic cultivation world, complete with sects, rogue cultivators, demon beasts, secret realms, and more. But the protagonist sees things from a very “mortal” perspective. To him, battles between high-level cultivators are like natural disasters, best avoided at all costs.

· Style: Lighthearted and funny, focusing on how the protagonist uses his “longevity” trait to resolve crises in the most cautious and unexpected ways, doing his best to stay hidden and live quietly in the dangerous world of cultivation.

Lighthearted comedy, trope subversion, timid but sly, forced to level up, play the pig to eat the tiger (unwillingly)

If I have the time, I’ll expand this into a novel of ten million words.