The Outlaws of Journey to the West Are Pretty Cool: Call Me Third Brother, and Remember It

He transmigrates into Journey to the West as Tang Sanzang and obtains the Big Brother System. The more domineeringly he handles things for others, the more outrageous the System’s rewards become. From then on, Tang Sanzang becomes a completely different person. After the Dragon King of Jing River is executed, Emperor Li Shimin is deeply troubled by what happened and eventually seeks out the renowned Master Sanzang. Li Shimin: “Master Sanzang, you have to help me this time, no matter what!” Tang Sanzang: “I only care about money, not people. Pay me, and I’ll do the job. Don’t complain if I ask for a lot. Since you came to me, you have to pay whether I do it or not. Remember, I won’t let you off if you’re short even one coin!” When rescuing Sun Wukong from Mount Five Finger, Tang Sanzang tears down the five-character mantra and burns it to light his cigarette. Sun Wukong: “I’ve always lived in his shadow. I’ve never seen anyone with such clear, innocent eyes. That day, he asked if I wanted to work for him. I agreed without a second thought!” At the Flowing Sands River, Sha Wujing, wearing a necklace of nine skulls, drags Tang Sanzang beneath the water. Tang Sanzang isn’t afraid at all. Instead, he throws his head back and laughs. “Ha ha ha! You think you can scare me? Do you know how ruthless my brothers are? And you think you can scare me? Don’t think you can run your mouth in front of me just because you’ve got a few skulls. I’ll have you know I can still be a gangster even in a monk’s robe.” Confronted by all the demons and monsters along the Journey to the West, Tang Sanzang flicks his robe over his shoulder and says through a cigarette, “There are dozens, even hundreds, of demon gangs along this road west. Plenty of people like you are out there making trouble. Me, I’m here to crack down on demons. What I want is peace across the land. Whoever causes trouble, I’ll beat them! Beat them to death!”