Tathagata, Have You Gone Senile? How Dare You Put on a Show?

[Savage] [Arrogant] [Brazen] [Peak] [Absurd]

Under the Five-Finger Mountain! "The Jade Emperor and the Tathagata decided to divide the world into four, and they still call the shots in the Three Realms. But are kings and generals born to the purple? I, Tang Sanzang, am about to pull off something huge. Want to work with me?"

At Yellow Wind Ridge, eight hundred miles wide, Tang Sanzang showed up uninvited. "You want to eat my flesh? What the hell is wrong with you, did a donkey kick you in the head? If eating a bite of my flesh could make you immortal, you monsters wouldn’t even get a shot at a hemorrhoid. You really think the gods and Buddhas filling the sky are just for show?"

Among the eighty-one trials, the more powerful a monster’s backers were, the more interested he became. "Wukong, Bajie, take him out! I don’t care who’s behind him. If he dares challenge me, Tang Sanzang, he has to die!"

Guanyin finally lost patience and demanded, "You act like this. Aren’t you afraid the Buddha will punish you?"

Tang Sanzang laughed. "The Tathagata? Who does he think he is? That old geezer is past his prime, and he still thinks he can come out here and throw his weight around? Just because he brought me here doesn’t mean he can run his mouth. In these Three Realms, if I don’t like what someone has to say, I won’t give them the time of day!

Please go back and tell him, Miss Guanyin: the skies of the Three Realms have changed. From now on, no god or Buddha gets to talk down to me, Tang Sanzang!"

He transmigrated into Journey to the West as Tang Sanzang and bound himself to the [Lucky Spin Wheel], gaining a ten-thousandfold boost from the start! Though he couldn’t even truss a chicken, he applied the boost to the destined pilgrim’s buff.

The buff was then strengthened ten thousand times, instantly turning him into a black hole at the heart of a tribulation storm. It eclipsed the Dragon-Han War, the Witch-Demon War, and even the Investiture of the Gods calamity. The gods and Buddhas scattered across the sky couldn’t get away fast enough, afraid of becoming entangled in its karma. The whole Journey to the West was twisted into something absurd.