The Diary of a Certain Regretful Normie

"Young Miss, this is the current situation of the target." The man in black, wearing sunglasses, reported his mission expressionlessly. "Okay, thank you for your hard work." The girl, with her long, black hair cascading down to her hips, slightly tossed her hair and took the phone offered by the man in black. To her right was a blonde, blue-eyed mixed-race school beauty; to her left was her mischievous, twin-tailed childhood friend; and behind her was a long-haired, straight-haired, aloof, emotionless girl with glasses—she looked like a total social butterfly. "... No wonder you're my benefactor, no wonder you've always refused to accept me." Bai Yu laughed. Although she was laughing, the man in black sensed...

I, Xu Danyang, courtesy name Xueling, am a struggling writer*1. Today, I'm also stuck in the midst of a mediocre monthly update (slacking off)! It's the end of the month again, and to show I'm still trying to update… well, to show my existence, I have to drag my weary body to the computer and start typing. It's supposed to be a beautiful weekend, with surprisingly little homework, two things combined should bring more joy like farming ships, grinding maps, and spending money on in-game purchases, but why am I suffering here? Tsk, how out of my mind did I have to suddenly start writing novels? Being a struggling writer means no girlfriend, no…

The smell of disinfectant filled my nostrils. The moment I opened my eyes, I felt something was off, like... I felt like I'd forgotten something. Pushing this strange intuition aside, I should first think about why I was in the hospital... "Ah, I remember." I think I was hit by a car while being kicked out of the house to buy something... I have no further memory; I probably lost consciousness. And then, unsurprisingly, I was brought to the hospital. Secretly relieved, I tried moving my limbs again; they seemed fine. How to put it... I, Xu Danyang, am still...

"So, it's a promise. You give me the heart to protect, and I'll give you the power to protect..." Floating in a hazy void, Xu Danyang seemed to hear whispers from the figure before him. Who was speaking? He strained to look up at the figure, only to find a familiar face—it was… "Me…!?" Xu Danyang? Xu Danyang! What's going on? Lost in thought, a sudden, intense headache surged through Danyang, as if something was forcibly drilling into his brain. "Delinquent, God-level Popularity, Victim of a Woodcutter's Knife, Warm and Sweet Man, Danfeng Swordsman…" A flood of information assaulted Danyang's brain, as if Newton had finally burst from his coffin…

Xu Danyang had always hated drunk people. Reason is one of the differences between humans and beasts, but alcohol is like a demon, sealing your reason, interfering with your thinking, making your tongue bigger, and then sticking out its legs in your path… This is what Xu Danyang thought as she tripped over the sofa, feeling the demon's influence. Damn it! Listening to the thunder and lightning outside, Xu Danyang rubbed her throbbing temples; the fall had actually helped dissipate some of the alcohol. So—the cold white light from the ceiling, the almost spotless floor, the neatly arranged items—this was… "Xu Danyuan's house…" Right, Xu Danyuan and she seemed to be lying down…

Blood Spirit, you old scoundrel! I've been following this book since middle school, from the first website all the way to Pineapple Bun. Even after you stopped updating, I'd still check back every now and then, but you never came back. Now I'm about to graduate from university, so I'm just saying, even if you're not going to write anymore, could you at least give me an outline of what happens next? At least I'd know the general outline of the story so I can give up on it.

"Danyang, ta-da! How does it look? Pretty, right?" Back in the living room, Lu Feier lifted the hem of her blue miniskirt. Her usual pigtails were now gathered into one, and she wore a dark blue jacket, making it clear that Lu Feier was not only a delinquent but also a high school girl. "Stop, stop, stop! Don't lift your skirt so high! This is a normal side story! Wait, I was wondering why you suddenly ran off after we agreed to wait for them to come back. Turns out it was just to change clothes?" "Danyang, you wouldn't understand..." "Stop! New Year's Eve, please speak..."

I stumbled upon this book by chance, and initially found it just okay, even a bit baffling. It's not the best or most interesting book I've ever read, but it still left a deep impression on me. The gist of the story is that the male protagonist possesses a magic box that turns everyone around him into female characters. This kind of plot is quite illogical in a slice-of-life novel, and I didn't quite understand it, but the author's writing was excellent. The humor and wit, along with the clever use of references, brought the novel to life. (I have to complain here: why didn't they write more about his sister!) While the novel has many minor flaws, as long as it's entertaining, they don't matter...

"So why did you all come all over here? It's the end of the month, I have things to do, didn't you already know?" I opened my door with a annoyance, looking at the three uninvited men standing before me. "Well, if they're coming, I naturally have to join in the fun." The one speaking was my childhood friend, Lu Fei, who expertly took a pair of shoe covers from the shoe cabinet and put them on as he spoke. "What, Miss Xue, you don't welcome us here?" The blond, blue-eyed man said with a smile. Losway, the former king of the "norm" social scene, now the emperor of "norm" social scenes. "Not really, but you should at least have let me know..."

As the New Year began, every household was filled with joy. However, I wouldn't say I was alone; at least for now, my home, Xu Danyang's home, was deathly still. My older and younger sisters, the ruling class of the family, sat on the sofa, while I could only kneel before them, head bowed, silent. "Speak, Xu Danyang, how do you want to die?" Xu Danyuan broke the silence, her words effectively deciding my fate. "Hey, wait, let's talk this out, okay? I didn't do anything terribly wrong; besides, saying that word at the start of the New Year is so unlucky, isn't it?" I quickly stood up to retort. "Brother, who told you to get up?"...