Starting as a Brocade Guard, I Physically Exorcise Demons and Build Up My Path to Immortality

Ghosts found life in the grave boring, so they moved into people instead.

Beasts saw how well people ate and dressed, so they donned human skins and became people.

Demons disguised themselves as living bodhisattvas and received offerings of incense every day.

Meanwhile, real people no longer wanted to be human. They chased immortality, and suicide became commonplace.

The court and the countryside were in turmoil, and officials colluded with demons.

Then came missionaries from the West, waving the banner of their gods as they made a spectacle of themselves across the sea...

Buddhist temples and Taoist shrines stood without a single stick of incense.

The righteous path in the mortal realm had long since fallen into ruin.

Buddha: "Find someone with wisdom, someone able to lay down the butcher's knife, ideally with a heart full of compassion. Only then can we save the beings of this world."

Immortal: "I beg to differ. The Heavenly Dao has collapsed, and the Six Paths are in chaos. This is what all beings look like at their most wicked.

I'm not saying we should fight violence with violence, but how can a soft heart and a gentle hand resolve the chaos of the cosmos?"

Buddha: "If you can do it, then you do it."

Immortal: "A tiny bit of wisdom, a little luck, and a heart for all the people of the world... No, never mind. That won't do. Anyone with too much ambition dies young. When you're human, a little damage to your karmic merit doesn't matter. With enough practice, you'll get more years of life."

Buddha: "???"

Immortal: "Damn... I lost too much karmic merit!"

Buddha: "Amitabha. I'm out of here."