Cultivation of Immortality Starts from the Huangtian Realm

Tsk. Let's talk about what we saw in the first chapter: The protagonist, a gambler, traveled through time. After a dismal start, prepare to turn around. Advantages: The details are well described, as if they were written by AI. Disadvantages: 1. Lack of logic You started by describing a gambler who reformed after time travel and prepared to start a career in another world. But this gambler has insufficient motivation for psychological change. Has no one ever advised him on his gambling for ten years? The prodigal son turned back just because of one figure? It's not that you can't, it's that you didn't give the protagonist enough psychological motivation, which made it feel unreasonable. 2. Too many details You draw a lot of ink to give the scenery, but the world view is not expanded. The description of the scene is generally used to support the world view. For example: Punk world view → Neon buildings, flying cars all over the sky. Martial arts world view → Ancient style old house, swords and bamboo forest. Xianxia worldview → The majestic sect, flying swords and talismans. Did you find it? It is not enough to just describe the scenery, there must be other things that are different and conventional to embellish the world. Because you didn't write it, the scenes are just scenes and cannot construct a world view. 3. Procrastination A large number of invalid scenery details describe, squeezing your plot. Today's online articles have very high rhythm requirements at the beginning. But your opening chapter barely advances the plot, time travel → don't take medicine → prepare to do big things. 4. Three Golden Chapters Conflict, no, there could have been. Suspense, no. Hook, no. 5. Four opening questions. Who is he? Just say he is a gambler. Where is he? Not written. What is he going to do? The writing is not clear enough. Why did he do this? (Why him?) I didn't write it clearly. Above.

I won't say any more, because the boss has finished talking. Tell me something the boss didn't say. I don't know what you got as a gambler by wearing it on someone else? Or another adventure.