Doomsday Journey - My System Is Later Than His

My friends all said that my writing was incomprehensible, with no foreshadowing, no world view, no setting, and awkward dialogue. I was autistic, so I wanted to ask you guys to take a look at this opening chapter. Can you help me read the first three chapters? What I write is a slow-burning web article. Although there is a system, it is just an auxiliary, and the system is not a real system, it is one of the foreshadowings My novel is called "Journey to the Doomsday - My system is later than his" I would like to thank you all in advance as a newbie🙏🙏🙏🙏 I will post the first chapter here first, and you guys can help evaluate it. "Yang Tao, I'm not talking about you, look at you, why did you buy so many things? The room is almost full! Do you really believe in the doomsday that Chu Fan said?" In the rental house, a young woman frowned and angrily accused the young man lying on the sofa. The woman has a slender figure and a delicate face. Although she is not particularly perfect, she is still very good among ordinary people. Although she is angry, her behavior is still restrained, and she is not an unreasonable character. The woman was wearing a set of white pajamas, standing in front of the young man with an aggrieved face, pointing at the food and water scattered everywhere in the room. Seeing these, she really couldn't imagine what the person in front of her was thinking. Yang Tao knew that he was indeed a little reckless this time, so he did not dare to refute and accepted his girlfriend's criticism like a quail. Yang Xueying looked at her silent boyfriend and felt warm again. "Why, you're mute?... You two brothers have such a good relationship. You believe everything he says, right? We finally saved some money, but you are fooling us! You... You really don't want to get married, right? It's been almost eight years since high school. You can do the math for yourself... How many cities and places have I traveled to with you! Eat! How much pain! I did all this just to make money with you, and wait for you to marry me! ! Wow... You're good... Brother, you don't hesitate to spend thousands of dollars, have you ever... Wow, have you ever thought about my feelings?" Yang Xuese pointed at Yang Tao's nose and cried in grievance. Yang Xueying's scolding was not wrong. She had been working hard with her boyfriend for several years, scrimping every day, and finally saved some money to wait for him to marry her, but the other party didn't even discuss it and spent thousands of yuan to buy a bunch of useless things. "Xue Zhi, I... I know what I did is wrong... But this is not a waste. You see... These are all edible, and they have a long shelf life. We can eat them for several months. Overall, they are similar to what we usually spend on food. , It's not considered a waste..." Before Yang Tao could finish, Yang Xuezhen interrupted him angrily: "Yang Tao! You..." Seeing that his girlfriend was about to explode again, Yang Tao quickly stood up, pulled her into his arms, and held her tightly. "Okay~ Xuezing, I know I was wrong, and you also know that Chu Fan..., He is severely depressed now, and I can't accompany him, so I just..." As he spoke, Yang Tao took out his mobile phone, opened the chat interface between himself and Chu Fan, and showed her a bunch of photos of the items he purchased. "So, I can only understand him, this is the only thing I can do... I will go out for takeout from tomorrow, work an extra job, and make up for these thousands of dollars, okay~" Suddenly attacked by Yang Tao, Yang Xuerong's head went blank for a while, and she recovered after a second. After listening to Yang Tao's explanation, her anger dissipated a lot. "Huh... I know this trick. If you don't marry me, just wait for me..." Hearing that his girlfriend finally calmed down, the corners of Yang Tao's mouth raised slightly: "Well, I will never marry anyone except you in this life. Just wait for me for two more years. Just two years, really." Yang Xueying didn't say anything anymore, and bit Yang Tao's shoulder so hard that Yang Tao grinned in pain. He quickly let go of the hand holding her, sat down on the sofa and kept rubbing the bitten area: "Ouch~! You are a dog, right? Why do you keep biting people!" "Hmph~!" Yang Xueying said nothing and glared at Yang Tao angrily. Yang Tao shrank at this sight: "Okay, it's almost twelve o'clock, go to bed quickly." I really didn't know how to end the conversation, so Yang Tao had no choice but to say. ………… The two came to the room. As soon as they lay down, they saw countless meteors flying past the window, lighting up the dark night sky, and the lines they crossed were extremely beautiful. Yang Xueying, who was still arranging her clothes on the window sill, was also attracted by the sudden light. She looked up and was completely fascinated by the beautiful stream of light. "Wow~ What beautiful shooting stars. Yang Tao! Come and see! There are so many shooting stars! So beautiful! This is the first time I have seen shooting stars." After waiting for a few seconds, Yang Tao's voice was still not heard. Yang Xueying called several times, but there was still no response, and then she walked into the room. At this moment, Yang Tao was in panic. "Ding! The doomsday is coming, congratulations to the host for awakening the doomsday evolution system. The system can help the host absorb special energy, evolve quickly, and make the host the strongest man in the doomsday!" The sound of the system has been surrounding his ears, and only then did he confirm that this was not an illusion. "System, you... Can you speak?" Yang Tao's voice was trembling, a little unbelievable. "Ding! Host, I can talk. All you have to do is say my name silently, and I will appear at any time~" The system's voice is very cute, a cute lolita sound. As for why it was so rigid the first time, it's because this is the system process. (Smirking) Such a cute voice sounded in his mind, and Yang Tao couldn't help but blush. "Ahem, system, what functions do you have~" Although the system came suddenly, he had read a lot of system novels and did not lose his composure. "Oh, host, you are so stupid, didn't I tell you, I am the doomsday evolution system, I can help you absorb special energy to evolve your body, making you the most powerful man in the world! Hey Hey~, alas~, it's a pity to have such a stupid host like you, I don't know where it will go, it's all mine, it's so pitiful~" Hearing the tone of the system's tea-art max level, Yang Tao got goosebumps, and his brows couldn't help but twitch. "Ahem, system, speak normally, I'm a little scared when you act like this..." "Hmph~ The host is really hateful. Since you dislike me for being so cute, what if you have a girlfriend? Does she have the same taste as me?" Yang Tao couldn't help but become cold when he heard the system belittle his girlfriend. "System, it's best not to say such things in the future. She is irreplaceable in my heart, and you... Can't do it either! You know!" System: "Host~, it's all wrong~." After getting the answer he wanted, Yang Tao finally relaxed. "Yang Tao, what are you doing, putting on a show? Your expression changes 18 times in a second? I called you so many times and you didn't answer me. I thought you were dead." Upon hearing his girlfriend's words, Yang Tao's face darkened again. "Humph, I told you to ignore me, outside..." Before he could finish his words, air raid sirens suddenly sounded everywhere in the city. "Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooota Thinking of this, Yang Tao quickly pulled his girlfriend into the room and closed the curtains. "Xue Xing, that's not a meteor, it's the way the doomsday is coming! It's just like what Chu Fan said! The end... Is really coming." Yang Xuezing looked at the man in front of her with disbelief, as if she didn't recognize him. Did she hear it wrong? But now the deafening siren cannot be faked, it means it is real! "Yang... Yang Tao, what you said is true... Really?" Yang Xuese's voice trembled with fear. "Well, it's true..." After receiving the definite answer, Yang Xuezhen was really panicked. Recalling the phone call Chu Fan made to them the night before yesterday, her eyes were full of confusion. Thank you for reading it patiently. If it is convenient, help me read the first three chapters. I was really shocked. No one among my friends understood it. Is it really my problem... My foreshadowing is all in the conversation 😭😭