I Am Really a Player!

I am the leading actor in a comedy, but why does everything around me slowly stop looking like a comedy? I just want to say to those players: "Hey, stop fighting, I'm a player too, really, I'm not going to lie to you." Why do these crazy people who are not afraid of death always want to drag me to do dangerous things? It hurts. What? You said you can regulate pain? I don't even have an escape button!