The Divine and the Strange Ming: The Taiping Heavenly Kingdom

Jesus strayed into the Doushuai Palace, stole an elixir, and descended to earth to wreak havoc.

The Demon Qing dynasty was a pack of treacherous wolves: once they gained power, they ran wild. The Eight Banners' secret identities stank of barbarian dust, while mercury-clad lackeys flooded the land like quicksilver.

Along the southeastern coast, the doctrine of the Mind School ran rampant. With mind placed above matter, evil knowledge prevailed, and demons and monsters attacked the Dragon Robes.

The Great Western King angrily tore open the sea's eye, flooding Sichuan, while the spirit of the Yellow River elbowed Central China. Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle.

May the Auspicious Heavenly Mother swiftly manifest her divine power; let the Potala Palace rise from the earth.

The Six Heavens Demon King carved out a domain on Mount Fuji. The Kampaku seized and plundered power like a bandit, while Skaven stole into the Imperial Palace and occupied the throne.

Viking slave shades and the Moon-Cang Wolf rampaged, while Fujian's commander, the Sea Dragon King Zheng Zhilong, carved out a realm of his own.

As the realm fell into chaos, calamities grew fierce and the four quarters descended into turmoil. The entire Hercules-Corona Borealis Great Wall star region was ablaze.

Our mighty Han realm shall endure for ten thousand ages.

All living beings are as insignificant as grass, yet brilliant as a river of stars.

Yet even the barbarians have rulers, while the Chinese lands have none.

Thus the Great Worthy Teacher, Sichen, was born in answer to destiny. Acting on Heaven's behalf, he descended to command all and capture demons; the Yellow Heaven spread its teachings to save all beings, granting every sentient creature what it sought.

The Great Worthy Teacher is losing ground!

The Taiping Heavenly Kingdom keeps making blunder after blunder!

The thirty-six divisions are doomed to defeat!

Praise be to King Sichen, who unifies the world under one realm!