The Melee Wizard of Hogwarts

Fake wizards wear black robes.

They hide in the shadows, fly around on broomsticks, and shriek “Avada Kedavra” while waving little sticks!

Real wizards wear gleaming silver armor forged by goblins and enchanted with layers of protective spells.

Their right hands grip a sword of protection bathed in dragon's blood, a blade that can sever magic. Their left hands hold a blackthorn wand.

With a single “Apparate,” they teleport right in front of you.

Reflected in your terrified pupils, a heavy blade flashes with cold light.

It slices cleanly through the arm holding your wand.

Then he stomps you deep into the mud.

The magical runes on his armor gleam faintly through the dust.

As you lie dying, all you can hear is his low, scornful whisper from beneath his visor:

“By Merlin, now that's a wizard!”