Mortal: Starting from Luoyun Sect

Those who read Mortal Cultivation of Immortality fanfics should have been attracted by the anime. Unless your writing style is very good, otherwise you will be obsessed with the plot, compare it with the anime, and interact more. The protagonist carries the identity of a demonic undercover agent and keeps mentioning that he is controlled by others. What's the point? How difficult is it to improve your level? To accept a heroine, if you want a harem, just mention it. If you don't want to accept a harem, don't mention the name of the female character at all. It will not please both parties.

I am an old Qidian bookworm, but I have always read the history section. Recently I watched the Mortal anime, and then I read the original novel and looked for fanfics. Personally, I think this work is quite good-looking. The male protagonist has a growth trajectory, is decisive in killing, has careful thinking, and has a clear purpose. At the same time, he does not have the overly selfish feeling of Han Li in the original work. Secondly, the portrayal of the heroine Song Yu is very good, and the relationship with the male protagonist is also natural (several mortal fanfiction love dramas I have seen before are very blunt). As for the female supporting character, the character of Liu Yu currently appearing is more in line with the original work, and further depicts the growth of this character. As a casual cultivator who wants to continue to be stronger, what he thinks and does. It's a pity that Senior Sister Ye, who appeared a lot in the previous article, suddenly went offline. In general, it can be seen that the author has built a story different from the original novel within the framework of the original mortal novel. Most of the characters currently appearing and occupying the main roles are mortals who have been mentioned briefly or have not even appeared before. The author even made further assumptions about some of the original plots, but it does not give people a feeling of being divorced from the original purpose and content of mortals cultivating immortals.

Author, if you like reading, don't stop 😭, update more 😆, and give you a few more monthly passes

Introduction is like child's play! You can travel across the secret realms of various continents but still can't get rid of the control of the magic gate? The basic logic doesn't hold up.

I also want to eat the traffic of the harem, and I also want to eat the traffic of the single heroine Song Yu. I don't understand what the author is thinking. Yuan Yao has been with the protagonist through life and death so many times, and has always been firmly on his side. Then he didn't give him a title, and he didn't give any training resources. Then he had an affair with Zi Ling and Mei Ning, and he kept vacillating. He didn't want to speculate in the stock market. It's pretty cool for a mortal fangirl to write you a female character like this.

Song Yu

The mortal world view is more suitable for a single female protagonist or a female protagonist. This is the truth, and I agree with this. But from a three-dimensional perspective, after reading a lot of mortal fan fiction, I feel that regardless of whether they have bad grades or good ones, they all have harems. Basically, there are more than two female protagonists. This is the choice of the market. I have an impression that some of the books with better scores, Scientific Cultivation of Immortals in the Human Realm, should have two female protagonists. Later, I read book reviews and said that the spirit world will also accept other female characters. Immortal Immortality is a pure harem story, and I have included all the books that can be included. I read "The Rogue Cultivator" too early. The serious female protagonists that I have an impression of include Xin Ruyin, Zi Ling, and a bunch of concubines whose names are not mentioned. The book about fighting monsters and upgrading is also a harem novel. Although the Legend of Mysterious Bones only contains Madam Wen and Yuan Yao, it is because they were cut off. Based on the development, Ling Yuling and Zi Ling will probably also be included. Beware of Mr. Mo and the Patriarch of the Demonic Way is probably the best-performing book among mortals at the moment. Both of them are harem novels, especially the first harem, which contains almost all the original works. So looking at the entire mortal fandom, there are almost no books with a single female protagonist. But looking at it, no matter how big the harem is, there is actually only a difference between female characters with pendants and female characters with flesh and blood. As for the portrayal of the heroine Song Yu in this book, it is so complete and vivid that it is difficult for other female characters to replace this first heroine. I wrote in a chapter review a long time ago that how the protagonist of a book handles his relationship with female characters depends on the author's writing style and whether he is willing to put effort into writing. Most readers hate harems because the protagonists and female characters in some books have no story and no connection. The portrayal of these female characters is also the same or even almost non-existent, and the result is that they are inexplicably put together. So I think the most important thing is whether the author can control a single female protagonist or multiple female protagonists, and whether the logic of the story development in this book is smooth due to these emotional dramas. If you just watched the trailer for the New Year episode of Mortals, you will find that Song Meng, who has long since disappeared from the original work, was saved and survived until the border war, as was Zhong Weiniang. If the author has already portrayed some characters well, there is no need to cause regrets. The author of this book has no problem with the logic of the story and the characterization of the characters so far. However, due to the special nature of the heroine Song Yu, the protagonist must be filled by other female characters in some events and dungeons. Zi Ling, Yuan Yao, and Liu Yu currently play this role. Can Song Yu replace Liu Yu? No, because Liu Yu does some mundane chores and is the protagonist's white glove. The protagonist will not bear to let Song Yu do it, and Song Yu doesn't have time to do it. Can Song Yu replace Zi Ling Yuanyao? No, the protagonist still has no way to confess that he can go to the Sea of ​​Stars. The only female characters in the story of Sea of ​​Stars can only be these two people. Therefore, the logic of the author's current story is no problem, and the interactions with these female characters are also effective. So far in the story, except for the heroine Song Yu, I personally think that the portrayal of other female characters, especially Liu Yu, is very successful. How to write the follow-up, whether to actually have a relationship with these female characters besides Song Yu, depends on how the story develops.

Personally, I think this book is obviously a detailed one and does not deliberately describe how to advance. For example, it does not describe the process of foundation building and pill formation in detail. It is more advanced through adventures, missions, secret realm dungeons and other plots. It is one of the few fans who does not follow Han Li's trajectory in the original work and does not try to steal Han Li's opportunities. It is also one of the few fan fictions that can reasonably create plots and copies based on the original work. For example, after Xiang Zhili came out of Yellow Maple Valley, he continued to appear in the Luoyun Sect as a low-level disciple, the Yunmeng secret realm of the three sects of the Xi Kingdom, and the Shanhai Island secret realm where he met Zi Ning and Ling Yuling to get the Yuan Dan, including the first encounter with Han Li and the mutual trap that caused Wen Tianren to come to Tiannan due to the ghost fog. These are obviously new plots, but they can give people a strange, familiar and reasonable feeling. Sometimes it seems that the progress of each chapter is very slow, and it takes patience to read the chapters before and after and connect them together to make it interesting. Personally, I think fellow Taoists are getting tired of reading the kind of fan fiction with Han Li entering the Yellow Maple Valley and teleporting together to the Chaos Star Sea (well-written exceptions). Instead, the fan fiction with the protagonists coming from the Chaos Star Sea and the Tiannanxi Kingdom has begun to shine. This Luo Yun Sect handles it very well. Most of the time, the protagonist and Han Li have their own opportunities, and they occasionally intersect without licking or suppressing them. It does not deviate from the original timeline, but also makes the plot feel fresh to a certain extent. Compared to being born in Chaos Xinghai or Dajin, the author chose the protagonist to be born in Luoyun Sect, which is very innovative. For Taoist friends who have read the original work, the plot and copy created in this fanfic will provide a reading experience that is both strange and familiar. For example, if Xiang Zhili appears in Luoyun Sect, fellow Taoists will not feel it is awkward because they know that Senior Brother Xiang will also go to Tianfu Sect😁

Chapter 2 The protagonist is only in the qi training period, but he can be divided and banned by others. I would like to ask, is there a primordial spirit during the qi training period? Even if there is, if this realm is divided, the soul cannot become demented on the spot 🤤

Most of those who can read the fanfics of Mortal Cultivation to Immortality are old bookworms, and old bookworms prefer more refreshing articles and emotional dramas (most of them are old perverts) The author, your writing style is okay, the storyline is also very compact, the logic is clear, and the characters are well created, But you should appropriately improve the combat power of some protagonists and show more golden hands. The advantage of referring to it would be better if it makes the article more exciting You can take a look at [Mortal: Just formed a pill, the system asked me to be careful about Mr. Mo]. This book was released at about the same time as you. It is a cool article among cool articles. The book is very simple, and it is as refreshing as you want. The writing style is not necessarily better than yours, but other people's monthly votes, popularity, or other results are much better than yours.

1. General readers can ignore the protagonist's triple spy identity. 2. The protagonist's cultivation is slow, and the evil master next door has more than 100 chapters, so we can ignore it for the time being. 3. The protagonist is a poor man. He has no herbal resources for the time being and cannot afford to support too many women. He can tolerate the early exposure of such a major event as Chaos Xinghai. 4. The protagonist's skills are miscellaneous, his magical powers are featureless, his original spirit beast servants, and his skill design are a piece of shit, which ordinary readers can tolerate. 5. [Only when I look at the catalog, I can't stand it because Cheng Tiankun is dead and the protagonist has not yet begun to break through the Nascent Soul. Do you know what the tape period is? ! ?

No, do you know that what you are writing is a fanfic? What are you thinking about? It's just a foundation building. How long have you been procrastinating? What are you doing?

I think the biggest problem of this novel is that the cheats are not written well For example, I never ran away when I was in danger. I was dragged down by someone every time. The strength is too weak.

There are a few chapters of the plot that make me think that this author may not be suitable to write articles related to the legend of mortals cultivating immortality. Because the protagonist doesn't know how to settle accounts at all... For example, Nangong Wan used the Yunmeng Third Sect's territory to conceive a baby, but only gave some spiritual stones, information and medicinal herbs and it ended? This is a total loss-making business! A truly smart person will definitely let her enlighten her with her Taoist heart before giving birth to a baby. If she succeeds, she must help the Luoyun Sect three times within her ability! In short, part of the plot makes me feel that the author has too much self-awareness. Perhaps subconsciously, he feels that the world should revolve around the protagonist, but the question is where does the protagonist get this ability? 😐 Don't ask, whether it is a single female protagonist or multiple female protagonists. If one day he can advance to Yuanying or even become a god, it is not impossible to have a harem. If he is worthy of a female cultivator, there is nothing to criticize.

This is an extremely twisted novel. In order to promote the plot, a bunch of temporary settings are made. One moment, he becomes a spy for one force, and another moment, he becomes a spy for another force. However, the protagonist himself does not know that he is a Mulan spy.

Now the copy is smelly and long. It is estimated that it will reach the spiritual world with more than 8 million words. Speechless😥

How could you keep reading? The first three chapters almost convinced me to quit. It was a lot of nonsense. There were so many questions. The pace was too slow. I didn't build a foundation from reading the article until it was published. There were more than 300 chapters and the reasons didn't work.

The writing is too clumsy, and most of it is about sectarian intrigue. Fans suggest reading A Cup of Coke. The writing is too boring, and it feels like it's riding on the popularity of anime.

It's too hot, blow it

I didn't feel happy watching it. The more I watched it, the more frustrated I became. The further I went, the more watery it became.

The main reason is that it's been too long, and we haven't had a baby yet. Do we have to wait until we have a baby with Han Li?

In fact, the author still wrote too fast. I suggest that the author write down in detail how the protagonist practices every day. Moreover, the protagonist practices too fast. He is 70 years younger than Han Li and is even a little higher than Han Li.

I always felt that this novel was written by AI, so I didn't read it. Now that I've read a lot of reviews, I don't know if it's fake or real, and I don't dare to read it. But after reading the introduction, I feel like it was written by AI.

Watched it several times. I can't hold on. The first few chapters are really witty. Why is it banned by the devil's split soul? And as soon as they meet, Song Yu tells the protagonist that he is an undercover agent. It's so nonsense.

After Cheng Tiankun died, the performance of this book dropped, and the number of comments plummeted.

rt

It's so poisonous, I was poisoned to death in the first chapter.

I feel that in the world view of "The Legend of Mortal Cultivation of Immortality", the possibility of having a harem is somewhat eliminated. Those who embark on the road of cultivating immortality and can go far are either cold-tempered or emotionally able to take things and let them go.

How did Wen Tianren know that Ling Yuling was in Tiannan? He had not even met Ling Yuling.

What I wrote before is good. When we arrived at the Sea of ​​Stars, the male protagonist made people feel disgusting. It's a pity.