Top of Tianhe

Although I came here for your sister, I have finished reading the first chapter, and I feel there are a lot of surprises, especially in the beginning, the protagonist's mother is raped by others, and then the protagonist kills the man and then kills his own mother. Without knowing whether the subsequent plot is exciting or not, I feel that this scene is not easy to stay as a reader. Moreover, judging from the first chapter, the protagonist also pretends to be a pig and eats the tiger. He has strength, but does not show it. This kind of plot is also common, so it is not attractive.

In the first chapter, the mother is raped, which is a huge poisonous point and very dissuasive to the readers. Moreover, the writing power is not enough. Although the changes in the protagonist's mood are written, it is still very abrupt and inexplicable. Coupled with the confusing narrative, it will make readers feel bad. The writing skills are not good enough, but I still want to show off. This needs to be changed. Those literary and youthful sentences do not fit in this book and will ruin the overall atmosphere. By the way, brother-in-law, can you push your sister's WeChat account to me? 🙂

All I can say is that my brother-in-law wrote this when he was 12 years old. When he became an adult, he was the second red-haired monster.

Mom's xxxx is a bit inappropriate

The beginning is too inappropriate to place now, and the attempt is still in the past. It can be written that after Li Tao came home, the third uncle was so drunk that he forced the door open. The protagonist had an argument and was knocked to the ground, unable to move. Just when the third uncle was about to use force, the awakening came back to bite the third uncle (it can be a golden finger foreshadowing or a physical foreshadowing, etc.). In the last scene, the two hugged each other and cried, thinking of his elder father (it can be used as a foreshadowing of immortality, or as a foreshadowing of family sacrifice). , And it can also be used as a plot foreshadowing) Here, Li Tao's mother must be written to death, so that the protagonist completely loses all awakening. It can be written that after Li Tao killed his third uncle and returned to his original state after exhaustion, the underworld envoy directly took away his mother's soul. (What can be used here is that his mother's soul will go crazy and lose all abilities. This can also explain why his lover is an elder.) So the underworld envoy can't wait to take away this high-quality soul. Some personal opinions, just some thoughts on the first chapter.

Brother-in-law, come on 🙂

Xiaobai's article is very exciting. I hope that the follow-up can provide more in-depth portrayal of the characters on the sidelines and not overly highlight the protagonist like Dou Po.

Brother-in-law, whose ID did you use to verify your name?

Brother-in-law, can you push your sister's wx to me?

There's not much to say, not to mention the content, even the number of words is not enough for a chapter, and it's gone after a few pages.

The first chapter of the opening chapter is too poisonous. They say that in the third golden chapter, you were persuaded to quit in the first chapter. There is no need to be so poisonous.