On the Day I Enlisted, I Wanted the Old Man to Buy Me Cigarettes

Yuan Tao: “You don’t dislike me because of my handsome looks, my rich inner world, and my undeniable talent, do you?” “Relax, I don’t like those qualities about myself either.” “I’m enlisting.” “I’ll shoulder my father’s rifle and guard the border.” “If you don’t make a splash, is it even youth?” The squad leader roared, “Who washed my quilt?” Yuan Tao: “Reporting, Squad Leader. I did.” “You’re always saying that comrades should help each other. Your quilt looked so dirty, so I washed it for you.” The recruit company gained a squad leader who pressed quilts alongside the recruits. A five-kilometer march with full gear. The company commander: “Anyone who finishes behind me today doesn’t get to eat.” Yuan Tao: “Reporting, I’ll run ahead of you. I want you to wash my socks for a week.” … I just love seeing veterans unable to stand me, but powerless to do anything about it. What do you mean, top performer? I’m the one who makes top performers.