Wei Xiaobao Transmigrates into Sun Wukong

After Wei Xiaobao transmigrates into Sun Wukong, he not only rewrites the story of the journey to the West, but also…

Scene One:

Wei Xiaobao: Uncle, suppose I got roaring drunk and accidentally wandered into your alchemy room, then ate several hundred of your immortal pills in one go. But you reported that a hundred thousand pills were missing. Doesn’t that mean there’s no proof of what happened to those ninety-odd thousand pills?

Taishang Laojun: Sun Wukong! What do you want?

Wei Xiaobao: Uncle, helping you balance the books is the least I can do. How could I ask for Fiery Golden Eyes? By the way, Uncle, I heard there’s a fox spirit in the mortal realm who often wears your Immortal-Binding Rope as a belt and brags about it everywhere, claiming you’re her lover. Want me to take care of her? Uncle, I also heard you have someone down there…

Taishang Laojun: What else do you want?

Scene Two:

Wei Xiaobao: Sweetie, lend me your fan and I’ll get rid of the fox spirit for you. Then not only can the Bull Demon King come back to you, but you can have all the fox spirit’s gold and silver treasures too.

Princess Iron Fan: You stinking monkey! I don’t care about that bull! We may be husband and wife, but we’ve been doing our own thing for ages.

Wei Xiaobao: Madam Niu, do you want me to bring out the big guns? What if I get a DNA test done on Red Boy and the Bull Demon King, then ask Taishang Laojun to verify it? You think…

Princess Iron Fan: Brother Wukong, it’s just a fan. Take it, take it.

Scene Three:

Wei Xiaobao: Your Majesty, you wouldn’t want your secret getting out to my master, Tang Sanzang, would you?

Queen of the Kingdom of Women: You cheeky monkey, what are you talking about?

Scene Four:

Wei Xiaobao: Sister Chang’e, how many steps do you think it’ll take for me to win you over?

Chang’e: “?”

Jade Rabbit: “?”

Bajie: “?”