Secret Realm? I Just Want to Grind Dungeons in Peace!

I've read the same one by Tomato. If you use this premise and write it normally later without it falling apart, people will keep following it. Tomato's premise is pretty good.

How come I've traveled through more than ten years and still have almost no world exploration at the start? And while it's true that you can borrow ideas, you've borrowed way too much! You really know that the very first instance of the game is underwater? Your writing is quite poor, and it's full of mundane family matters... Sigh, I hope you write better and better.

The protagonist is either too stupid or lacks pressure. With so many skills, he's practically superhuman, displaying innate superhuman strength. He'd definitely be willing to have his family buy him a weapon, making his path in martial arts incredibly easy. Unless, of course, this world doesn't recruit soldiers.

1. You can't distinguish between primary and secondary information. Most readers are only reading your book because of the side stories. Look at what kind of filler you put on the shelves? Has anyone commented yet? 2. The protagonist's starting funds are seriously bugged. Instead of being dropped by monsters, they are deducted from dungeon decoration items.

It would be better if it were modified accordingly. If you change the time travel feature, it will be a masterpiece; change it from more than ten years to a few days. Otherwise, yours can only be considered a good product, far inferior to the original. Although I don't like the later part about fate, it's really well written. If you want to practice your writing, that's fine, but if you want to surpass it, you can at most borrow from its worldview; otherwise, it's best to write it yourself.

The author has gone to extreme lengths to create a beginner's guide with a hundred chapters.

Why does it have to involve family? Couldn't it start as an orphan? I really don't want to see family dramas like this.

Initially, the dungeons seemed alright, but when the Water Mansion dungeon came along, the author lost sight of priorities. The purpose of running dungeons is to improve attributes and explore a wider world with more dungeons, not just to run dungeons for the sake of running dungeons.

The free chapters were so filler and dragged out the pace that it was undeniable. I didn't expect the filler to increase even more after I started paying. I won't complain too much, since I still enjoy the genre. If you want to read more after finishing the free chapters, go check it out on FQ (I'm the only player in the Ancient World). Come back and give it a like after you've read it.

I wanted to see the protagonist go through dungeons, fight monsters, level up, and get amazing gear, not some backstabbing and intrigue. From the moment he joined the army, he was constantly dawdling and dragging his feet. Will this kind of writing get good grades?