The Unscientific Immortal

“Immortal Ye, you've become famous. People online are saying you can divine the future. Is that true?”

“Those internet jokers are just pretending and baiting people for laughs. They're trying to fool honest folks like you.”

“But someone filmed you flying on a sword. Surely that's real?”

“That's all technology and special effects. You know what movie effects are, right?”

“Immortal, I think something evil has latched onto me. I've been having trouble breathing lately, but the doctors can't find the cause. Please help me!”

“Can you breathe properly with your sweater on inside out, for God's sake?”

“Immortal Ye, I've seen a ghost.”

“No, you have a mental illness. There are no ghosts in this world!”

“Immortal Ye, I'll give you all my family's wealth. Please take me as your disciple and teach me magic!”

“There’s no such thing as magic. Want to learn some tricks?”

Faced with all these bizarre questions, Ye Chulan could only explain helplessly:

“There are no immortals, no magic, and no ghosts in this world! Everyone should believe in science!”

“Immortal, what do you do for a living?”

“Damn it!”

Cursing under his breath, Ye Chulan leaped off the cliff and flew away on his sword.