There's Something Wrong with My Adventure Narration!

Shen Nong died and 😰 exploded. After reading dozens of chapters, I can only say that it is completely written in the stream of consciousness 1. The main plot is completely unclear. The known protagonist Xia Yaxi is a common village with an uncle swordsman and the Witch Princess Novice Village. In the first two chapters, Xiao Ai was brought back to the royal capital by the witch princess. The normal main plot is either to go to the royal capital. Retrieve Xiao Ai, or take the risk to form an adventure group. The middle plot inserts Xiao Ai's plot and writes a Western fantasy adventure article. However, in the first few chapters, it seems that the protagonist is completely messing around. He said he wanted to be an adventurer and went to the adventurer headquarters at the beginning. By chapter 30 or 40, he did not start to take the first mission or start looking for teammates. Is this how an adventurer should be? The protagonists in other novels have a clear purpose, either to become an immortal or to take revenge. This book has dozens of chapters, but only a bunch of names appear, and the plot is not advanced. What on earth is the protagonist doing? According to this way of writing, where is the hot spot after it is put on the shelves 2. Character design issues. The protagonist is designed to be a time traveler with a system, but there is no way to tell where the time travel is. The system needs to find a way to save life. Is it difficult to extend life with elves and magic in the Western fantasy world? I have a witch adoptive mother who doesn't do anything. I don't ask. I can turn myself into a lich. In addition, the protagonist is completely brainless. I don't know why he went to a red meat restaurant and spent all his money. He ordered one dish and didn't finish it. By Chapter 28, the protagonist was gone in a few days. I had three credit accounts (the first time in a carriage, the second time in Sophia's tavern, and the third time in the Rabbit Girl's tavern). Each time, I relied on the author's cheating to get through. If I had the materials I brought with me, I would just play with them if I didn't change them early, or use the materials to pay off the debt. Is this really something a time traveler can do? 3. The portrayal of the supporting characters is very strange. At the beginning, there is no reason why Sophia and Elsa are so good to the protagonist. The author makes people think that it is the first time for Elsa and the protagonist to meet. As soon as they meet, they intend to pass on all their power to the protagonist, even if they are about to die. For the sake of my sister, I have to test my character. There is also the cat girl in the back. What does this mean? The protagonist came from time travel and his hair turned black at the back. The current plot is that he is regarded as the royal heir who destroyed the Xinoa Kingdom. This cat girl should be from the Xinoa Kingdom. The intelligence organization is too close (personal guess). It can't be that the protagonist has known him before. Isn't this his first time out of the village? I didn't even register as an adventurer before. In addition, if it is the country of Xinoa, the problem is that the protagonist accepts it so easily, and the cat girl also accepts it like this? Is this kind of thing casual about the organization of Xenoia? Not investigating? Then I can dye my hair casually and still be considered the heir, but I don't understand the point of this chapter at all? In addition, after reading it, it didn't say what the protagonist wanted to do with this cat girl, whether it was information, personnel, or money. It didn't say anything. He wanted to be the Riddler Finally, it might be fun to watch if he could catch the airwaves.

Shen Nong Lai Ye, the writing is very poor, the plot is written like a collection of ancient Western stories, many symbols are not added, and the overall development is inexplicable and does not catch up with the radio waves.

It's really confusing to read. It's not like a novel. It's a first-person meeting record. It's also like the finale of other novels. The protagonist goes through a process and everyone goes to fight the final boss.

"There are very few women in the world who are more beautiful than you." I was really speechless when I saw this sentence.         ，，！                                   It is difficult to understand what the authors of male videos are thinking about nowadays. What attracts women is only appearance and force (fantasy and fairy tales).         ， ，，          ，，，， If you think you are rich, first check whether your [private account] has more than 9 digits. If you think you are good-looking, have you been hooked up by a beautiful woman?

For Western fantasy novels, if you learn from Gu Long, if your writing style is not good enough, just use pure water writing. It's really a good one, it feels like watching Ximen Chuixue introduce weapons in Top of the Forbidden City, it's not as good as someone else introducing weapons!

It's not good-looking, it's a stream of consciousness, and my writing style is just a pure imitation.

If you have a friend who likes this book or keeps a book, please give it a follow-up reading, that is, pull the latest chapter to the end after updating every day, because it is now recommended to read and follow-up, it is very important for new books, thank you.

Let me briefly talk about my personal opinion. There are too many foreshadowings in the first chapter, and the information is not complete. There are also many changes of personal pronouns, which makes people a little tired of reading. What follows is that the main line cannot be absorbed. After reading the first volume until the end, I can only guess the protagonist's action principles. Even if the introduction can be summarized in one sentence, it will be much better. The above situation will be much better after the identity of the protagonist is named in the second volume. In short, there are too many vests in the first volume. However, in order to avoid the vests being exposed directly, there is too much hidden information, which makes the first volume too painful to read.

Overall, the technique is pretty good, it looks very comfortable, and I can give it a mid-to-high rating, but the content is barely interesting. I hope the author will control the content when he publishes a new book.

The archangel held the Allegro and chanted seriously, Goose goose... That's what it tastes like

It's so weird, it feels like a traditional martial arts in Western fantasy skin, the protagonist is so vague

Why write the ending first and then the beginning? Reading the second volume after reading the first volume is boring😰

The writing is okay, but the protagonist is not selfish enough and wants to save everyone. It's boring, boring, and he's not ruthless enough!

Understand, this is a matter of life, cutting from East Street to West Street

The protagonist seems to be an old antique?

Classic 1/4, are you my little devil?

Stream of consciousness, I was attracted, but you don't know

The lack of time information makes it uncomfortable to watch.

Why does it look weird?

The introduction is very weak, 80% of it is nonsense literature.

Author, I would like to know what the protagonist's other ability is. Can you reveal it easily? Is it the kind of ability that a man would use a thousand years ago or the power of God, such as putting moonlight into a necklace? It was said before that Char is the sun, and there is also the moon. Does it imply that the protagonist is the sun god and the moon god?