Huh? I Became a Magical Club?

What? You’re saying the club in front of me is a divine weapon?

Murong He refused to believe it and struck himself with the club. The next instant, blood poured from his seven orifices, and he dropped dead.

Zhang Huan, standing nearby, was dumbfounded. Already eager to die, he picked up the club and struck himself on the head. The next instant, an immense surge of spiritual energy coursed through his body, and his cultivation soared to the peak of the ninth level of the Nascent Soul Realm.

He Xiao, once a nobody fresh out of college, was reborn as a club, complete with a Club-Raising System.

Each new owner gains a random ability upon acquiring the club. Some abilities are good, others bad.

“Ding! Congratulations, Host, on acquiring your first owner. Dialogue function unlocked!”

“Ding! Congratulations, Host, on clubbing your second owner to death. Reward: free movement!”

“Ding! Congratulations, Host, on raising your third owner into an Immortal King of the plane. Reward: soul projection!”

“Ding! Congratulations, Host, on standing by and letting your fourth owner’s parents die. Reward: the title of One of the Ten Good Citizens of Divine Xia! Prize: 200 yuan!”

“Ding! Congratulations, Host, on transmigrating a hundred years into the future. Reward: appearance evolution!”

“Ding! Congratulations, Host, on going through ninety-nine owners. Reward... a return home.”

He Xiao wept uncontrollably, tears streaming down his face.

Who knows what I’ve been through all these years! Aaaah!!!

(No heroine + brainless power fantasy + interwoven stories + expansive worldbuilding)