King of Guns and Fire

I have some ideas, but the writing is too confusing.

Very familiar style, Huaihai Road Little Page

Xiuyiwei, hurry up and use the mechanical magic. I have been abusing the boss for so long, and it would be really fun if the boss could still escape.

Let me talk about my thoughts on the confusion of time and space that the author wants to express First of all, brothers are currently chasing one update a day. Your clues are too scattered. I will have to read the clues on Monday until the next day and it is basically impossible to think of the following. This is why some people say that your writing is too fragmentary. Most people think it's because you messed up the rhythm or didn't plan the length of the plot at all, and no one will think about foreshadowing. Second point, if you want the brothers to know that there is foreshadowing here instead of treating the foreshadowing as a bug, you have to guide them appropriately. For example, when the male protagonist kills monsters, he is inexplicably smooth and knows the key points subconsciously, or the teacher clicks on the side to kill monsters smoothly, unlike someone who has never killed before, etc. Then there are certain choices, certain path choices, and the manifestation of divine blood. Only by guiding people more clearly will they know that you are setting up an ambush. The ambush pen is not really buried in the soil. You have to write that there are no three hundred taels of silver here.

I've finished reading it. It's a very good book. The style of the weather forecast is very similar. I remember that there was a magically modified ancient China at the beginning of Tianqi. Yes, it feels similar to that. The protagonist is relatively kind and righteous, with normal views. The extraordinary system is very interesting. This book is less popular now. Honestly speaking, I think it is quite good. There are also some minor problems, such as there are too many complaints in some chapters, the jokes are a little denser, and the protagonist's initial event is more difficult. But the flaws do not hide the flaws. I hope that the author will live up to his name and work hard to write. Whether it is a new writer or a big boss, everything will be in vain. This book has the potential to be popular. Don't read it.

Reversal for the sake of reversal is not advisable

It can be seen that the author has great ideas. But first of all, there are too many unnecessary things stuffed into the prologue. It can be understood that the author wants to bury clues or set the background, but is it really necessary? If you give so many clues but don't use them, the readers will forget them soon, so what's the use? At the beginning, it is enough to introduce the mixed background of the jurisdictional forces where the story takes place. Some simple history and some main forces are enough. Secondly, the protagonist dungeon took a long time to complete. In the middle, I was busy describing the supporting characters. It can be seen that the author is laying the groundwork for the protagonist group. But the second uncle and his nephew were too wordy. The protagonists were fighting life and death there, and everyone's emotions were aroused. As a result, they were bragging and spanking, so hurry up and the magic soldiers will descend from the sky. Moreover, the main character's small dungeon is almost finished. As promised, Skyfall is still attacking the protective shield. . He said he would die if he was burned, and everyone was furious. . As a result, after more than forty chapters, everyone seems to have realized that he is not dead and is not too anxious. . Evaluate it, it is a new book with great potential in partial subjects. The author wanted too much to throw out everything in his hand, but the writing seemed a bit bloated, the story was a bit delayed, and the focus drifted arbitrarily. . It makes people look anxious. . The setting of text to arouse emotions is very good, but the narrative structure really needs to be improved. Sometimes I even think that a single-line narrative or a two-line narrative is better.

Can I say that I don't understand this book at all? There are only a few characters in the first 20 chapters, but it feels very confusing. I often don't know who is speaking to whom in the dialogue. Also, the camera changes are very sudden, from one scene to the next without any transition. Various settings are thrown out that make people look confused! I know some people will say that by reading sentence by sentence and associating the context, you can roughly know what the author wants to express, but this is a novel. How many people like to read a novel so strenuously? That is, you want your work to be regarded as a professional literary work, but professional literary works also simplify the text and stuff in some allusions that need to be known to express the meaning in a subtle way, instead of using a blunt twist like yours. I personally think that novels still need to be readable by most people without difficulty, and then improve the writing style and add suspense and twists, so that the author can get more money. If it's just for fun, then pretend I didn't say anything.

The setting is good, but the expansion is not friendly to most people. Slowly, slowly, bit by bit, show this world, its extraordinary rules, and be friendly to ordinary people. Regardless of whether the setting and the story in the setting are included in the setting, a little bit, an incomplete bit, is revealed in one person's fragmentary words. Readers are expected to complete these settings in future readings, including allusions that have already occurred in these settings. I'm afraid that after writing it, the author himself forgot to fill in the pitfalls. To sum up, the article's setting is first-rate, the narrative has a threshold, and it is mysterious.

It's interesting to write, but it's not handled well. My assessment is that it's an old lady's foot wrap.

Fengyueniang opens a new trap? I've been playing for so long without opening the book. I guess I just wanted to get an account and test the waters.

Dear writer, your new book is very good. I have joined the new book investment group. Please update~

It should be cut. If not, a normal person would look back.

The idea is good, but the final handling is not very good. It is better to just come to the Jin Yiwei. The Jin Yiwei has laid the groundwork, and in the end it has to end with the newly named protagonist, which is not suitable for B.

Have you ever considered moving the Age of Discovery into space? Similar to the setting of the magic ship in dnd. Human beings used the power of science and magic to build floating ships, breaking away from the shackles of gravity and sailing to the star sea. Recommended animated movie "Xingyin Island"! That's the subject. After sailing to the star sea, humans encountered other intelligent races: elves and orcs. Many humans have also transformed into dwarves and halflings due to their long-term reproduction in an environment different from the earth. The optic nerves of a very small number of people are also alienated due to the influence of star power: they can see the flow of star power. This alienation is of great help to navigation. People who have this alienation are called "navigators". Being able to hire a navigator is every captain's dream. The orcs' navigation technology is relatively backward and they can only sail around the stars. The navigation skills of elves are extremely superb. They have special technology that can artificially cultivate star stones, but the speed is very slow. The keels of the elven airships are all made of star stones, and some even have entire bodies made of star stones. Because the floating ships are made of star stones, they are extremely sensitive to star power. The elves' floating ships can sail at extremely high speeds without even relying on star streams, and their navigation systems are also extremely accurate. When humans sailed among the stars, they discovered that the source of magic power comes from the "star power" emitted by the stars. And some people awakened some "superpowers" after sailing among the stars for a long time and bathing in star power. High-concentration star power will solidify into star stones. This material has a wide range of uses: 1. Star stones with low purity are generally used to power magic instruments. 2. High-purity star stones will be used to make the core of magic instruments. The mage draws a magic circle to constrain the flow of star power in the magic circle. Different flow methods of star power will produce different effects. The mage can interfere with the flow of star power to a certain extent through his own mental power and thus affect the effect of the spell. This is the principle of magic. After the great development of human science and technology, mages have become less popular. After all, learning magic requires magic affinity. If you don't have magic talent, you won't be able to mobilize star power to perform magic. But in some fields, the role of mages is still irreplaceable. Technology doesn't have many barriers to learning. As long as your brain is not too stupid, you can learn a little bit. After humans set foot on the Star Sea, they found that their physical bodies were very fragile in the harsh environment of the Star Sea. Mages and technicians teamed up to develop "armor" powered by star stones to enhance the human body. The armor needs to follow the human body to complete various complex movements, so it is not operated through a mechanical structure. The mechanical results cannot complete such fine operations, so people want to control the armor through star power. After all, star power can achieve various complex effects through magic, and it is not a big problem to use it to transmit signals to operate the armor. The point is that ordinary people can barely influence Star Power. But a long time ago, mages discovered that after implanting star stones into the human body so that the star stones are in direct contact with flesh and blood, the person's mental activities can affect the star power activities in the star stones (this influence is two-way). Some mages have enhanced their spellcasting ability by implanting star stones. This move can indeed enhance the magician's spellcasting ability, but it will also bring huge mental pressure (after all, the influence of star stones and spirit is two-way), and many mages have burned out their brains and become idiots. Inspired by this, the technician worked with the mage to install a reading array on the armor that could read the changes in the star power in the star stone, so that the driver could roughly drive the armor through his mind. With the help of some uncomplicated mechanical structures, humans were finally able to drive the armor. But this also brings problems. If you want to control the armor flexibly and accurately, you can't do it with just one or two reading arrays. The action signal provided by each star stone node implanted in the body is limited, so if you want to control the armor accurately, you need to install multiple reading arrays, and the driver also needs to implant multiple star stones. But just implanting a star stone is already a burden on people's spirit. When driving armor, you have to operate it by affecting the star stone, which puts even greater pressure on the spirit. Implanting one star stone is already the limit for ordinary people. Those who can implant multiple star stones are all talented people who are different from ordinary people. There are many pilots who cannot bear the huge mental burden in fierce battles and burn out their brains. Star stones are usually implanted along the spine from top to bottom. The armor is roughly divided into the following levels: 1. Skeleton level: Like a skeleton, it can only support the limbs and trunk of the human body, improving strength to a certain extent. Implanting a star stone is enough to operate. 2. Warrior level: fully armored, looks like an ancient armored warrior, can barely operate with a star stone implanted. 3. Knight level: Medium armor, shaped like a giant ancient knight, with 2 star stones implanted for basic operations. 4. Titan level: Large armor, too much mental pressure when driving, unable to be driven by one person, usually driven by two people. 5. Titan class: Giant armor, complex operating system, requires at least 3 people to drive, and the driver is responsible for different systems. 6. Golem class: The output is extremely high, and the relative mental pressure is also extremely high. In order to share the mental pressure, the Golem class will be equipped with a "buffer": that is, ordinary people will be connected to share the mental pressure, while the driver can concentrate on operating the armor. The huge mental pressure will burn out the "buffer"'s brain in a short period of time. In order to continue fighting, the "buffer" will be replaced batch by batch. Some navigators also discovered "star streams": star forces gathering among the stars, just like ocean currents in the earth's oceans. Relying on star currents, the speed of the floating ship will be greatly increased. There are even madmen who are not satisfied with driving on the surface of the star stream. They drive floating ships to dive into the star stream to obtain faster speeds. But this approach is no different from risking one's life. Although diving into the star stream can achieve extremely fast speeds, the strong turbulence deep in the star stream can easily tear the hull apart; if it encounters turbulence, the ship will be taken to a random star field; there are also giant void creatures inhabiting the deep star stream. If they have an appetite for floating ships, they are basically doomed. While exploring the Star Sea, people formed different organizations. Among them, the ones with greater influence are: Navigation Association: Anyone who makes a living among the stars is basically a member of the Navigation Association. The association has affiliated organizations such as the Sailors Association, the Navigators Association, the Captains Association, the Gunners Association, the Maritime Traders Association, the Lighthouse Association, etc. Basically, wherever there is an airport, there will be a sailing association. Members can obtain various information here: recruitment, rewards, current affairs, commodity prices, etc.; They can rent the association's rooms at low prices; they can entrust the association to buy and sell commodities, etc. These books cover all aspects of seafarers' lives. The logo is a sail and an anchor The most important one is the Lighthouse Association. The lighthouse uses star stones as fuel to release special light to point the direction of the sailing floating ship so that it will not get lost. Lighthouses are usually manned by 1 to 5 keepers, equipped with small boats and various supplies. In addition to the daily maintenance of the lighthouse operation, when receiving a distress signal from a ship in distress, the tower keeper will also sail to the rescue and guide the ship in distress to the lighthouse. Ships can use the supplies stored in the lighthouse for repairs, but they must not use up all the supplies they consume the next time they pass by. Otherwise, they will be blacklisted and notified by the association. At that time, anyone who runs a boat will despise him as a human being and refuse to deal with him. They will be removed from the blacklist only after they have replenished supplies and paid fines. In remote star areas that deviate from the main waterways, there are many unmanned lighthouses, which also store supplies. If an unlucky person in distress is lucky enough to find an unmanned lighthouse and use the supplies to escape, no matter how far the lighthouse is from the port where he set sail, he will sail here again to provide supplies. I hope the next unlucky person in danger can encounter the lighthouse and use the supplies inside to escape. Endless Sea Chart: An artifact whose origin no one knows. No matter where you are in the galaxy, it provides a detailed map of the nearby area. It seems that the chart data of the entire universe is stored in it. Royal Society: A scientific and magic research and teaching institution funded by the royal family. Among them are masters in various fields. Their research results have greatly promoted the development of human civilization. The Society is also an educational institution. After strict selection, geniuses from all over the empire will enter the Royal Society to study. However, even the funds approved by the royal family are barely used for the research of the masters, and there is no extra funds for education. Therefore, if you want to study in the Royal Society, you must not only be a genius, but also have money. After all, how can the knowledge taught by the masters be cheap? The Royal Society has multiple branches: the Royal Scientific and Technical Society, the Royal Magical Society, the Royal Society of Medicine, the Royal Society of Biology, etc., And will add or remove branches when necessary. The Royal Society has branches in every major city in the Empire, with its headquarters on Earth. The Royal Society does not exclude cooperation with outside parties, but the cooperation standards are extremely demanding. The logo is a crown and a book Royal Bank: a bank funded by the government and the royal family. The logo is a crown and gold coins Pirate Association: Yes, pirates also have organizations. You know, pirates, people on the fringes of society who are yelled at by everyone, need to join a group to keep warm. It is not difficult to understand that pirates will also have their own organizations. The Pirates Association is basically a degraded sailing association, but in some aspects it has special features due to the special status of its members: 1. The location of the Pirates Association is generally very secretive. After all, most pirates carry bounties on their backs. If the location of the association is not secretive enough, the risk of being blamed is greatly increased. The headquarters of the Pirate Association is said to be located in a floating ship cemetery deep in a certain star stream. It is impossible to reach it without the guidance of a sea chart. 2. Use secret words extensively. The logo is the man-eating shark Black Gold Trading Company: A chamber of commerce that specializes in illegal business. Most of the pirates' stolen goods are entrusted to the Black Gold Trading Company. Although the Black Gold Trading Company's commission is high, the most important thing is safety. It is said that behind the success of the Black Gold Trading Company, there is the secret support of the empire, the church, the royal family, and the navigation association. The logo is a black gold coin United Society: With the development of human society, the demand for scientific and technical talents in all walks of life is increasing, but the number of talents is far from enough. Either you are looking for technical talents yourself, but when you, as a boss, come to your door, you will find that most of the so-called technical talents are not worthy of the name, and the knowledge they possess is incomplete and cannot be put into production immediately. Or you can only turn to the Royal Society for help. The Royal Society looks down on ordinary corporate organizations, and it is not that difficult to cooperate with them. However, the demand for technical magic talents by various business organizations does exist. In this dilemma, various business organizations have united to establish their own society "United Society" to cultivate their own technical magic talents. The level of the United Society is not as high as that of the Royal Society, but it is more valuable because of its large quantity. The United Society has very low standards for recruiting students, and tuition fees are also very low. For some poor students, there is no tuition fee. You only need to sign an employment contract called a "sale contract" with them: you are guaranteed to work in a company designated by the society after graduation and use your own salary to repay the tuition. However, the repayment fees required by this contract may be a large amount of money, so that many people can pay off the money after working for many years. People from the Royal Society laugh at the people from the United Society as "people's sciences", but it has to be said that these "people's sciences" do meet the society's demand for scientific and magic talents to a large extent. Unlike the Royal Society, which only has branches in important cities, the United Society basically covers medium-sized and above towns in the empire. The headquarters of the United Society is located in the industrialized Mars. The logo is a magnifying glass. Church: After humans stepped into the sea of ​​stars, they became more and more aware of their own insignificance and powerlessness. People in urgent need of spiritual comfort naturally found the church, and the power of the church expanded rapidly after humans sailed to the star sea. Human prayers can also affect star power to a certain extent, causing various effects. This technology is called a miracle by the church. Its working principle is different from that of magic. Miracles produce effects by causing the resonance of star power. There are not so many types of miracles compared to magic, but everyone can cause the resonance of star power. However, the magnitude of the resonance of star power caused by most people is too small to trigger miracles. However, the resonance of star power can be superimposed. As long as there are enough people, the weak resonance of star power can trigger huge miracles. But this requires guidance. Star power resonance can not only be superimposed, but also offset. Without the guidance of clergy, even if there are many people praying, most of the star power resonances will cancel each other out and cannot be used to trigger miracles. The church believes that the sea of ​​stars has a soul, and star power is a manifestation of the soul of the sea of ​​stars. Human beings can perform miracles because their own souls resonate with the souls of the sea of ​​stars. The mage believes that star power is just a simple energy that interferes with the spiritual power of living things to a certain extent. The church headquarters is located in the Himalayas of Earth. Countless believers want to worship in the Himalayas. Unfortunately, there are too many people, and most people can only draw lots layer by layer. In the end, believers will gather in the sky of the moon and look at the earth, waiting for the church to draw lots to decide who is eligible to set foot on the Himalayas. After completing the pilgrimage, these lucky people will get a pendant embedded with Himalayan stones to prove their piety. This pendant will most likely be regarded as a family heirloom or even a sacred object enshrined in the pilgrim's local church. Most believers will never be able to draw this lot in their lifetime. All believers will be moved to tears when they set foot on the lunar airport, so this airport is also called the Port of Tears. Because it is too difficult to qualify for a pilgrimage to the Himalayas, most believers turn to the next best thing. When they come to the Port of Tears and look at the Himalayas, their pilgrimage is considered completed. They will get a thumb-sized copper bottle containing lunar soil, proving that they have made a pilgrimage to the moon and look at the earth. In order to spread the doctrine, several cities cooperated with sailing associations to send on-board chaplains. In addition to providing spiritual support and guiding miracles, these priests also know some medical skills and navigation knowledge, which can be of great use in emergencies. Even the Pirate Guild will cooperate with the Black Priest. Black priests only focus on the effects of performing miracles, but do not pay attention to praying for the believers who participate in performing miracles. They often try their best to enhance the star power resonance effect in order to enhance the effect of miracles, causing the souls of believers who participate in performing miracles to be shocked or even die directly. The emblem is the eagle in the sky The Imperial Navy: the main military force of the empire The emblem is the wolf pack among the stars The Imperial Police: the imperial security force The emblem is the hound The Imperial Bureau of Investigation: the imperial intelligence agency The emblem is the owl The Royal Shadow Guard: the royal intelligence assassination agency The emblem is the crow The Emperor House Guards: Elite troops directly under the royal family The logo is the negative sun lion Imperial local troops: The military force stationed in the place The logo is the giant bear Humanity expanded rapidly after gaining the ability to travel among the stars. However, with the expansion of power, humans formed different forces to attack each other. After a hundred years of "unification war", the forces from the earth were unified and established the Galactic Empire.

To be honest, the writing is okay, is M realistic? The writing is pretty good, actually.