After Quitting the Team, the Adventurers Regretted It

There is a comic. . After quitting the Brave Team, he collected the mother of his former teammate 🤐

Has this genre gone from Japan's light invasion to its starting point?

This... Is there something wrong with my understanding? A large group of people watched their summoned beast pee... Pee? 🥵

🌝Without that Nanniang, the data would be at least doubled now

Chapter 6: Tell the truth and screen out 90% of readers🌝

Author, you just deleted the comment after reading it. Don't worry about your burning flames. Even though you are blind, you will become stronger in the future. I do it all for your own good. Just follow the original plot. The protagonist is gradually getting ridiculous.

There's a lot of plot in this story (I changed the content for the second time, so I won't be banned this time.)

The overall impression is good. After reading it, if you have a few comments, the author can accept it if you like it. If you don't like it, you can just laugh and ignore it. It's not a big problem. The emotional pull of quitting the team is good. The images of Leah and Aiko are well created, but there is too much arrogance and lack of some coquettishness. Unless I plan to really kill this Leia in a physical sense in the future, I can write more coquettish expressions. The progress of the main plot is a bit slow. The best thing about quitting the team is killing your predecessor. As of the latest chapter, the protagonist is still at level zero. This is nonsense. The goddess cannot be portrayed well, the bond is inexplicable, and the heartbeat is inexplicable. You can add more stories about the past between the male protagonist and the goddess to make the relationship more reasonable. The plot of the younger sister is very clichéd and meaningless. The core of the exit stream is to kill the ex. The long-term goal of having a younger sister will give people a very unpleasant feeling. I always feel that the male protagonist's strength is suppressed by the younger sister of the same level (although I haven't written it yet, it is easy to imagine that the younger sister is invincible). However, I can't change it after writing it here. Try to use as few descriptions of how strong the younger sister is. The presence of the male protagonist is a bit low. It is currently unclear how useful the strategy is. The pace is a bit slow, and there is too little anticipation for the male protagonist's growth. The main point of the game is not to highlight the thrill of killing after leaving the team. It seems that the withdrawal flow is really good, but this book has flaws. If you can't pass the test, you can pay attention to these shortcomings in the future and write a withdrawal flow to try.

A male god turns into a female summoned beast, pure reader

The concentration is too high. I don't really agree with the lines without a few lines in Japanese. There are so many poisonous points.

The main reason is that the watering-down is serious and the protagonist is hard to explain in a single sentence.

The writing is childish, I don't know what to say

At the age of 23, you want to be an uncle. If you want to eat shit, go ahead and be your youth!

I've read 150 chapters. What did you write? I originally read this book based on old books. I don't know what the author is that everyone wants to read?

I have also read a lot of light novels, and I will briefly talk about the shortcomings in my eyes. The Nanny at the beginning, because my high-defense novels only broke anti-NTR and sent girls, so I didn't feel much about it. But nowadays, many people's defense is indeed not high, and they avoid it if they can. Moreover, the front of the novel is too important and needs to attract people to read. The front of this novel has a lot of frustrating plots, and it is too slow. I read it at twice the speed to feel good, plus Many people will run away from those "poisonous points". I think this book is good. The author has potential because when he writes serious adventures later, it is quite interesting. It is not boring to watch, and it is also funny. I was attracted because I wanted to read the fun plot of Jusha's former teammates. It turns out that this kind of plot accounts for less than one tenth of the book, and it is average. It is a lot of frustration. Jusha is not very exciting, but it is ordinary adventure and daily reading with relish.

If you want to see the dungeon, guide, and battle, you don't need to click on it. Chapter 40 or so only starts to fight the lowest level monster. If you want to watch the story of falling in love with a two-dimensional character, you can enter

So far, I thought it was pretty good until the sister incident, but this sister incident. , It feels too forced. It would have been better if I had occasionally interspersed memories to portray the image of my sister. Otherwise, I would be confused now and not have the resonance I should have. I even wonder why the same time traveler thinks that a copy of the game in the game world can help her realize her wish to become a god in the Western Fantasy.

I seem to have seen the exact same plot

I don't understand why the author wrote so long the plot of the naughty child, and then put it all on the shelf. The protagonist himself is also the "parent" of this naughty kid. I want to ask everyone here, who doesn't hate this naughty kid's family?

Made by ai

Prison Bear, go and rewrite Imprisoned by the Witch,

Conclusion from the beginning: The novel is a rare and unpopular masterpiece I think it is partly due to the XP problem. I read the comments mainly about the problem of Kafeni in the beginning, and the delay in playing the ghost adventure group in the early stage. Because it is a peach novel, it should be mainly about the heroine, but this article depicts a splendid different world, and there are too many contents that have nothing to do with the heroine. This means that the plot of 1 million words is still very slow. In fact, it is a bit inappropriate for the audience. It is more like other male videos that are decisive and decisive, which is a bit nondescript. I think the author can try to use the same outline and rewrite a story. I think the problem of this work is very similar to "The Witch Imprisoned Me". The setting is too grand and the author can't hold it anymore I personally think that the world view should be narrowed, and it would be good to mainly write stories with beautiful girls as the outline. For example, Baimen can be changed into a regional big boss, and instead of the original role of the ghost, the main characters of the original adventure team are assigned to various enemy positions. The role of the devil can be replaced by Tina or the blackened Kafni, and the daily plot can be increased I think this article is still a pity. If the author follows the previous article, he can refer to my opinion. If he wants to transform, he can change it to a mainstream male video title. The author, please come on ^0＾~ Come on, the work is very good Here I refer to "Junior sister, please listen to my explanation" and "Second week, they are full of malice towards me"

Why was the ending so hasty? The plot is obviously very good and could have been made longer and more engaging.

The trend of quitting the team, is this a routine that Riqing stopped doing ten years ago?

I wonder if you have thought of Blooming Under the Moon after reading this book. It has exactly the same words and plot.

Author, do you still have the Stone Pit of the Brave in Chapter 39? 😅😅

The beginning shows the protagonist's ability, saying that the protagonist leads the team through the first eight floors without any injuries. So, what is no injuries? No blood loss, which is obviously nonsense. No serious injuries? Something's not right either

After reading the introduction, I have a question. Adventurers, except for pig trotters, are they all ladies? Why is the pig's trotters a pure color girl.

I kept it before and forgot about it Now come back and take a look. I'll give you a monthly pass first.

I can actually write 1.76 Million words, not bad