Hogwarts: the White Devil of the Black House

I saw that the author used dozens of chapters to write about the background setting, and I thought there would be some development in the future, but I didn't expect it to be a self-help article by a novice. When I saw that the system was created by the protagonist in the future, and it was intelligent, I was so poisoned that I died. It can be said that the most taboo points in writing system articles have been written out. The first 50 chapters are all nonsense, and there is no plot behind it. Now that I see it, it feels like a sexual self-pleasure article secretly written by an elementary school student in class. Author, please restart and see how other novels are written. Even great authors would not dare to write like you. Either you go write it somewhere else. Of course, if you practice for fun, just pretend I didn't say it.

It's too wordy, and you have to write a lot about things that can be explained in one simple sentence. This is not because you pay attention to details and foreshadowing, but because the author's wording and writing style are too protracted, which is extremely inconsistent with the fast pace of online articles, and it is very uncomfortable to read. It may seem to you that the author has written a lot of details and foreshadowing, but for readers, most of these are nonsense. After reading along the way, the plot does not advance much and is filled with large supporting characters and background introductions, which makes people irritated. Make appropriate deletions and put some things that will not be used immediately until later. It is good to have details, but I really can't stand it when you are all about details.

The ideas are okay, but there is a lot of nonsense that is inexplicable and has nothing to do with the plot.

It's messy. There are too many things that I want to describe. I can reveal them slowly in the later stages, but they are all crammed in at the front.

The opening credits are all boring and unwatchable.

The writing is all nonsense, just like a primary school student writing a composition. The preface does not match the following, it is too confusing, dozens of chapters are just a collection of nonsense, there are a lot of words, and I can't understand it at all.

If you write like this... You might live longer than I do! ! ! How many days of updates can be put into the novel in one day? ? ? How many chapters have it been? Can you believe this girl's pig's feet haven't eaten since she woke up? ! ! (I was speechless for a long time) I was speechless. I originally wanted to raise her... I am afraid that writing like this will send me away, and it is still unclear who will raise whom... I will go to the various supervisors' assumptions and assumptions. Can there be less specific introductions! Other people's novels are a small amount of setting in the plot, but yours is a small amount of plot in the setting! ! ! Fake wine is not as cruel as you! There is only one drop of alcohol in a barrel of wine you sell! ! ! ! Zhuhai Literature, you are obviously just playing around, take the exam and you will pass! Real! ! !

There's no plot, it's all nonsense about the second setting, it's too watery

This garbage-like world view is even worse than "Douluo Dalu"

There is a lot of nonsense. Chapter 52 is about the main character awakening his magic power, buying a squib for his parents, reading the book for three days, and then meeting his cousin Narcissa. A lot of speculation about Dumbledore's psychological activities and so on.

I think the part where you wrote the family paragraph is a bit weird. You are an adult who has traveled through time and have a mature enough mind. You can write about the relationship between relatives in such a boring way. In the text, you also write yourself like a very mature adult. It seems really incoherent, okay? The psychological changes are really

If you want to write the background, you should either write it in the front and separate from the main text, or intersperse it in fragments in the main text, or describe the character dialogue sideways. A lot of parenthetical comments affect the perception, causing the plot to be section by section. We are here to read the novel story, not the setting instructions.

If you don't know how to write, you don't have to write. If you read it now, it will be a mess.

This book is really good at writing, hahaha

He was born an Anglo-Saxon robber, a stupid wizard born by blood, and extremely hypocritical and disgusting.

Author, you didn't talk about the key points in the three golden chapters. I dare say that in your three chapters, at least 50% of them were dismissed. Don't imitate the writing methods of those great masters. Don't you deserve to understand the bad words? You are not popular. Most people will just leave if they are not interested after reading three chapters. The great masters write like this because they have huge popularity to support them. You are an author with nothing. Are you crazy to spend the most crucial three chapters digging a hole, or to dig a hole that can be completed in just one chapter in a fan fiction? The vast majority of people don't care about what you write next or how good your writing style is. If the third chapter doesn't look good, I'll just leave.

I must say that what you wrote is an online article, a novel. The most important thing in a novel is the characters and plot, but what you wrote does not even look like a novel. You use long paragraphs to introduce and even discuss, making the book look like a Harry Potter review. You wrote these things in this chapter to pave the way for the following plot, fearing that the plot you wrote would be criticized. I have to say that your purpose has been achieved, because no one will read it. To say the least, even if After seeing the plot behind you, people who should criticize will still complain, because no one will read that long paragraph of text word for word. It is better not to write these chapters to introduce my evaluation. It will not do anything except consume the enthusiasm of readers who are attracted by your setting. If you really want to write a novel, then my suggestion is that you'd better change the overly subjective comments in the novel, but if you just write a few words casually, then you will be happy.

The rest of this novel is quite exciting If you skip the very lengthy setting chapters in the first few chapters, I think the following story is an excellent Harry Potter fan novel. Some settings in the novel are the kind of settings that do not feel inconsistent at all for a reader who is not an original novel like me. Instead, I see another magical world of Harry Potter in fan novels that is different from what I have seen before. p. S. Should you consider removing the Invincible Stream tag? This option is quite popular.

Have you posted your horoscope on the Internet?

Promise! This book will be updated steadily, without being perfunctory, with a complete outline and guaranteed completion. The writing may not be very good, but I will try my best to write the best. I hope people who like it will give me more opinions and comment lightly. Thank you very much. Tickets and the like, of course for the sake of my sincerity, the more the merrier! ! Pursuing reading is said to be very important, um, I don't quite understand, please share.

For free, this article is too much for a novice to read. I hope the author writes better and better in the future.

This book is guaranteed to contain two chapters every day. If nothing unexpected happens, I will continue until it is completed. Add more rules. Well, you still have to have dreams, although it may be difficult to realize them for the street. Ten thousand rewards will be directly added to an updated chapter. The reward will be given on the same day and will be added directly when the update is updated the next day. Every time the collection increases by 1,000, an additional chapter will be added. It will not be added directly before it is put on the shelves, but will be added on the day it is put on the shelves. If you accumulate 100 monthly votes, one chapter will be added, and updates will also be added on the day it is released. Well, look at the total number, I update it every day, the ones sent by the system don't count. If the number of recommended votes exceeds 1,000, an additional chapter will be added. That's it for now, I don't know how other people calculate it. If there is something wrong with me, I hope you will mention it. A single chapter will be officially released after it is put on the shelves.