The Outcast: The Yellow Court of Shangqing

Why would Nadutong dare to force the protagonist to rob a tomb? Hu Bayi went because he was already involved in this matter. If he didn't go, he might die. Where is the protagonist? He was originally a disciple of Shangqing, his father was still an old gm, he had stars on his shoulders, he had connections, and the protagonist was the youngest son and the treasure in his heart, why did they dare? Don't talk about what the alien organization is like, most of the people in high positions are ordinary people, so why do they dare? ? ?

I've finished it all, here are some suggestions. The biggest problem - sentence segmentation problems Always use commas to divide a sentence into several sentences. (This sentence is an example) Frequent typos. (I won't say more, you know it yourself) Some lines and plots in the original work are often omitted. You call it "not enough words" In fact, from a personal point of view, I hope that you will have no problem copying and pasting. 1. Reasonably refer to the original work within a certain number of words, which can enhance the atmosphere and give you the feeling of reading the original work back then. Otherwise, it would be the same as reading a strange story just by passing it through. 2. Each chapter is too short at 2k, and it was over before I even got into it. Reasonably copy some of the dialogue and settings of the original work to make up the word count better. Readers are not afraid of your word count, but they are afraid of your inability to write. Fill in the details to make it fascinating. Don't give me the impression that you are hanging out an outline. Finally, there is no need to worry about Mi Er not posting the settings yet. If you write it yourself, you will be slapped in the face. From the reader's perspective, it depends on who writes well. If you follow the original work completely, there is no way to combine it. If you post a stolen pen, don't you also have to change the timeline? The original is bone, the second is flesh. You just need to be determined to develop from the perspective of symmetry of flesh and bones. (Advice from a 20-year-old bookworm)

Forget about robbing tombs, it's really not suitable. The force value is not on the same level, and the protagonist's starting point is too high. You are not robbing tombs, it is no different from robbery.

The protagonist's father is a retired general, so how could he have the dignity to ask the protagonist to rob a tomb?

Author, it's not my fault. There is indeed something wrong with your plot, and you won't correct it without reading the comments. Not to mention, in today's chapter, in the comics, Lao Meng said that the Yaoxian Society was a sect that had been passed down for hundreds of years. The company already knew that there was such a sect, but the Yaoxian Society was destroyed a long time ago. Then five years ago, the company received news that Yaoxianhui was resurrected, and they were wiped out again before Yaoxianhui became big. Wang was 26 years old when Lao Meng said this. Five years ago, he was 21 years old. Wang is also the same age as the protagonist. The protagonist is now 13 years old. You discovered the Medicine Fairy Society 8 years in advance. But in the comics, it is said that the Yaoxian Society was annihilated before they became big. But according to what you wrote, there was a Yaoxian Society eight years ago. Isn't eight years enough for it to become big? Also, the people of Yaoxianhui were developing in secret. After Lao Mengdu reported his identity as a company, the high priest actually revealed the name of his organization, Yaoxianhui. Was it because he thought Yaoxianhui was not covert enough? And the most fatal point, you wrote the Gu-body Holy Boy as a weapon that a high priest can carry with him? Have you read comics well? The Holy Child is a sacred object of the Yaoxian Society and a treasure of the Sect. Generally, it will not leave the base camp. When it was rescued by Lao Meng, it was very gorgeously dressed. It has a high status in the Sect. It is not a humanoid weapon that can be carried around.

Let's not talk about why the protagonist can be forcibly asked to rob tombs. It doesn't matter whether the protagonist has him or not in the plot of tomb robbing. He is just a soy sauce. The key is that there are so many plots of tomb robbing nowadays. It feels really boring to watch.

You're a monk who robs tombs, I don't even know how to scold you.

There is nothing to expand the plot, it just keeps pushing the protagonist's realm, learning from one point to another. Running around is not practicing cultivation, eh, just playing! The most important thing is that I haven't achieved anything famous in my practice, and I write every day that I am "almost as talented as a Heavenly Master." Where's the face? Is the technique innovative? Can magic weapons be refined? Has your level improved? After reading more than a hundred chapters, I can compare myself to the Celestial Master whether he is a human or a ghost. The Celestial Master he wrote is not like "Under One Man". I feel that he is a tyrant at most. Don't forget, the author, it only takes one slap for the Heavenly Master to beat the Ten Guys with all his strength! The same goes for beating Zhang Huaiyi! He is very similar to "One Punch Man", don't try to mess with anything!

I personally think so. The author's first two orders of the Seven Killings of Gods and Ghosts are based on the Three Corpses. One is to ignite oneself, and the other is to forcibly eliminate others. I think it can be done like this for chasing souls. First of all, after mastering this style, there are A normal state is that you can perceive other people's three zombies, and have the ability to sense malice and lie detection (this seems to have been used on Mr. Hui before). After that, this move can be used in reverse with the previous Wind and Fire Order. Come on, strengthen the opponent's Sanzhiqi (somewhat similar to Sanzitu Junfang's ability ) to directly attack the opponent's soul (it is soul chasing after all ), and at the same time give the enemy a series of deBuffs, such as reducing intelligence, psychosis Chaos and uncontrollable body, resulting in slow movements You can also form combos to make the opponent's three corpses stronger. You can use the first move to absorb the opponent's three corpses to add buff to yourself. You can also use the second life. Forcibly removing the opponent, after the emotional ups and downs, is very harmful to the body. This combo is a bit like the 12 Labor Formation. At the same time, you can also use the opponent's three corpses to track the location (in line with the pursuit of souls). If the earth evil order is used, I What I'm thinking of now is to use my Three Corpses Qi to stir up the earth's veins and borrow the earth's energy to attack the enemy (for example, forming a big explosion like in the original work). You can also use the earth's veins situation and Feng Shui pattern to attack the enemy who has an imbalance of yin and yang in the body, or make the enemy's body yin. (Yang imbalance) You can also use the earth evil energy to buff yourself and form a combo with the first move to increase the buff state. At the same time, you can also form a linkage with the killing god and Zhu Xian behind. The original killing god order is to summon the golden armored god, and then the ten thousand swords pierce the heart, and the earth evil spirit is Among the 72 techniques, there is an invitation to the gods. At the same time, Shangqing Maoshan is a sect that shakes people. The subsequent Zhuxian order is also inseparable from the evil spirit. I only think about this for now. If you have good ideas, please give me some advice If the author thinks it is possible, please add it.

At first glance, I thought it was more than one person, Qinghuangting (high-speed rail)