Harry Potter and the Secret Treasure

It's a poisonous batch, the protagonist has absolutely no normal IQ and logic of an adult.

Can you write foreshadowing? I kept the notebook with me, and finally gave it to Ron through force.

Overall, it's not bad, but because of the addition of the concept of evil gods, the changes have been too big. A Haierbo evil god is enough. There are too many evil gods now and I don't like them very much.

Wuhu ~ Started to update again, it seems that he left the palace

The author is back (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

This is something I didn't expect 😰

The first part is very good, but in the middle it starts to fall into place repeatedly and deliberately ignores the key points (it feels inconsistent with the previous part)

I persisted in reading Chapter 35 and died from poison.

It's a pretty good book in this genre, but it also has a bloody plot where the main character loses his wits, water, the supporting character is black but is inexplicably white, and the heroine can only cry. Come on

Ron, who possesses all seven mortal sins, is not likable. He can be turned into a black man and just as easy to be whitewashed. I hope the author can control the plot well so that mortals can have a reasonably good ending. After all, I am also a mortal, and looking at him is like looking at myself.

This book has quite a few poisonous points. 1⃣️As a HP fan, many details and settings are really poisonous. For example, in Armanigus, the protagonist finished his first year, read a book, drank a magic potion, and recited a spell to succeed directly. The emotional original contains mandrake leaves for a month, and then the magic potion, you don't need it when there is a thunderstorm, right? The human body deforms itself, which is difficult, but it is no longer difficult for you, right? 2⃣️The male protagonist joins the trio and takes care of the child's development like a nanny. 3⃣️Ron. You can criticize him, but I don't like him either. But you wrote him so poorly, and made no progress in more than a thousand chapters from beginning to end. As a result, every time something happened, Ron was jealous, had his soul stolen, and caused trouble. Then the male protagonist went to save him, forgive him in various ways, and even took him to receive the award. Who is disgusting? 4⃣️Emotional issues. Not long after the beginning, she and Hermione were dependent on each other for life and death, but they didn't get together until about a third of the entire book. During this period, various confessions and kisses were interrupted. Why don't you just stop? Moreover, the distance from the original trio was not well controlled. 5⃣️The setting is to have past life memories, but if you look carefully, the memory is of no use at all, it would be better to have nothing at all.

It is completely unacceptable to forcibly reduce the protagonist's intelligence and write the plot twist in such a bloody way. . Especially when the protagonist deals with a certain mouse, he doesn't look like a time traveler at all. The tied rat was able to sneak out several times while being guarded by several insiders. It is really hard to accept that it can be criticized for dozens of chapters after being caught and then released. . . I would say that even if the main character was just a squib, his performance in this book would not be that outrageous. I have read so many lj xiaobai online articles, and this is the first bloody protagonist who forced me to go to the comment area.

Update, it will definitely be completed! But... Gu Gu Gu Gu Gu Gu Gu Gu Gu Gu Gu Gu Gu Gu Gu Gu Gu Gu Gu Gu Gu Gu (The cute cake has been stewed) (The author is busy with things in real life=.=)

Defeat Ron to death, and then whitewash Malfoy and Snape like crazy

After reading more than 1,500 chapters, although the author is a Hermione fan, I really feel that Hermione is not suitable to be the heroine. In the original world line, which is the early stage of the book, it is quite suitable. However, after the author introduced the evil god line, she felt that the two were not suitable to be boyfriend and girlfriend, but more suitable to be comrades. The difference in their world view and values ​​led to Hermione sometimes not being able to understand Alvin. Although Hermione cared about Alvin, she could not understand. Sometimes it seemed that Alvin was accommodating Hermione. This feeling became more serious in the later stages of learning.

We must know that this book is the first of its kind for Harry fans It is inevitable that there will be flaws in the plot This book is the blueprint for future generations of Harry fans Don't criticize it here, don't compare this book with other books, many other books have learned from it

First of all, let me make a point: Anyone who tries to whitewash the Dursleys is either stupid or bad.

The protagonist is simply a trash male protagonist in Japanese comics. The Virgin is weak and irrational. He knows clearly that Ron is a loser who can't stand it, but he never takes precautions. He knows that Death Eaters will hurt people around him, but he never dares to kill him. This kind of person is not worthy of saving the world at all. He should have been plotted to death long ago. He is a pure child and extremely childish! The plot and world view of this book are so perfect, but the author has ruined it. The protagonist can be regarded as one of the most mentally retarded among the thousands of novels I have read!

The protagonist is too decent and cares too much about other people's opinions. But if he uses black magic, he will receive inner condemnation. It makes him laugh to death. Power does not distinguish between good and evil. It is just a means of killing. You should control power, not power control you.

Which book list said it was so well-written that it lured me in? I just saw the first time I went to school. The protagonist, a time traveler, knows the plot, and forcibly deceives him to follow him on a speeding car to find the Whomping Willow? ? ? Absolutely!

Copy the original work, just add a protagonist, and the original plot is very little. It's simply a novel designed to defraud money.

Seeed the main character of Chapter 12 as Lily, was a little unable to hold it back. The protagonist's behavior gave me a sense of fragmentation. Sometimes he knew a lot, but he was a brat, and sometimes he was so stupid that his nose bubbled with snot. I read in the comments that someone said that the protagonist here knows his mistakes and can correct them. So the point of designing a plot that will dissuade readers is to show that the protagonist knows his mistakes and can correct them? Some people say that it is normal for the protagonist to be unsophisticated. But the protagonist knows how to run a newspaper and allocate work reasonably; he also knows how to compliment Lockhart and ask him to provide materials to help, and attract female readers; he also knows how to write letters to Bagshot in a reasonable identity to collect materials, and write an emotional article. People who understand this tell me that he couldn't talk to Harry before writing, couldn't persuade Harry and Ron not to drive to school, and couldn't take the diary from Ginny. I feel that there is a problem with the plot design, which leads to a sense of fragmentation in the characters. In addition, it is difficult to write without the original work, and I don't want the plot to be too much. After all, the reason why fan fiction is easy to write is because the original story tells the story. When the three of them missed the train and Harry and Ron decided to fly to school, as long as he explained the pros and cons and said that Mr. Weasley might be seen losing his job, would Harry be embarrassed to continue pursuing excitement? Or can Ron still be passionate? First of all, Harry would not agree. Without someone to encourage him, Ron would have no courage. Starting a newspaper can be based entirely on your Muggle identity. The difference between Muggle life and wizard life makes you curious about wizard life; curiosity about magic; curiosity about the school castle; curiosity about famous wizards; curiosity about the savior, etc. When writing about Lily, you can definitely talk to Harry first. Harry doesn't like being kept in the dark and he just met his parents last year. He can make insinuations and provide clues for Harry to write a letter or the protagonist ghostwriter asks Bagshot for materials. Finally, Ginny's book, I can't understand this. I just gave Ginny a set of clothes and bought her ice cream. Not only are they good friends, they have at least become closer. Say you help Ginny get a book or read the diary out of curiosity and pretend to discover it by accident: this is a return gift. It was inconvenient that Ginny had to wait until she got home and put the book in the house... It can only be understood that there will be other developments later, and the diary needs to be kept in Ginny's hands temporarily. If the plot development is not much different from the secret room, but the perspective has changed... I saw the operation said in the comments that it is slow to heat up, emmm, in my understanding, slow heat is synonymous with boring in the early stage and interesting in the later stage. But in my opinion, the first ten chapters are not boring, but the protagonist's image is fragmented and the plot design is unreasonable.

When the author updated Harry, he did not forget to tell Naive about family sacrifices.

From the previous description, it seems that the protagonist undoubtedly yearns for magic, so why is he stupid enough to take a flying car to school instead of using an owl to ask for help? It doesn't follow the plot so well. The protagonist is not a related person, so how can you guarantee that you won't be fired? How to ensure that you won't be beaten to death by the Whomping Willow? My psychology changes too quickly when I arrive at school. I feel calm and nervous for a while. Can my heart bear it? The most incomprehensible thing is that the protagonist wants to start a newspaper when he first arrives at school? Without the memory of the time traveler, the protagonist is just a newbie from the Muggle world. How much does he know about the wizarding world and Hogwarts? How willing are you to start a newspaper directly? Just based on the introduction in the book? I haven't communicated it to anyone beforehand. Does the school allow it? Does the principal agree? How many students have there been in Hogwarts for so many years, and the main character is just a smart person?

At about 80%, I admitted that I couldn't hold on and skipped to the last two chapters. Reading the whole story is actually like watching Harry Potter again. The addition of the protagonist has not changed much. Although the setting of evil gods has been added, the development is very weak. The same goes for the protagonist, who already possesses powerful magic power and advanced knowledge in the second and third grade, and is still following the main line of the original work step by step in the academy. And readers must be reminded every time that the protagonist is familiar with the plot of the original work. But the protagonist is completely written like an ignorant, cute and weak chicken. It is the Crusu children's version that is reprocessed from children's literature. Anyway, after watching it, I just rewatched Harry Potter with extra characters 1/2/3/4/5/6/7

I have read more than a hundred chapters. The author's writing is very good and the ideas are great. However, in the early stage, the protagonist was forced to be smarter at every critical point. Things that were obviously very simple were complicated by the protagonist without thinking. Moreover, the protagonist and Harry were always interrupted by various people when they spoke a few words. Ahhhhhhhh the early plot looks so frustrating, I can't help but feel unhappy.

I have seen a lot of people who have entered the palace. The author of 363w words entering the palace, I respect you as a genius.

At the beginning, we enter the secret room plot. The male protagonist already knows the plot. It is understandable if the plot does not change. He also follows the three little ones to investigate the case! Fooling around! Not to mention that the matter was not settled, he also welcomed the basilisk into the dormitory! See Chapter 50: Poison Hair!

[Fn=3_6]In fact, it doesn't take so much thought... And don't think about becoming a novelist in NB and making a lot of money. After all, this is a work based on someone else's work. There are a lot of questions... It's so confusing at the beginning... After you think about it, so what?

The requirements are not high, just stick to it 🌹