The Whole Cultivation World Reads Fanfiction About Me and My Master

[A spite-fueled daily life between a supposedly useless, foolish dog of a disciple who actually wields gravity, and a murderous, venomous master who secretly has the heart of a saint] ✓

[After I came back to life, I discovered the whole world was writing fanfiction about me and my wicked master in a dogged-pursuit romance?!] ✓✓

[My master shields me from wind and rain, but don't ask where the wind and rain come from] ✓✓✓

Si Heng, notorious for causing chaos across the Four Realms, failed to climb the heavenly steps and stab his master to death, even though the man had already attained immortality. It was his life's greatest regret.

But after he died, why were the storytellers in teahouses, the street vendors, and the bestsellers in bookstores all telling not of his heroic exploits and blood-soaked victories, but of his heartbreaking days as a “simp” trailing after his master!?

A pack of idiots who can't tell the difference between pursuit and attempted murder!

He saw black, but around the next corner, he spotted someone calling, “Master, Master!” before leading away the immortal who should have been up in the heavens, worshipped by all.

Fine, you forgot me again, huh? You only like disciples who act like your dogs, is that it?

Come on, then! I'll give you what you want! I won't stop until I've bitten you to death!

Wait, why does my master like reading those books about the two of us, too!? He wants to read the ones where he tops me, and he even wants me to read all that filthy stuff out loud to him!?

Later, Si Heng finally learned that everything back then had happened for a reason.

“If it weren't for me, would you have died before you ever saw me?” Si Heng looked at the master who had been his enemy for his whole life, unsure how to describe his feelings. “Now that I've come back to life, why are you still unwilling to tell me the truth? Couldn't you at least explain?”

There was still time. Why waste it listening to him read these storybooks day after day!

Master (stone-faced): I'm about to die. Can't I enjoy myself while I can?

Disciple (yandere): No.

Bonus scene 1:

Today's recommended reading list from the cultivation world. Step right up, honored guests, and don't miss out:

TOP 1: The Heartless Dao Immortal, Please Love Me Just Once

TOP 2: The Puppy’s Guide to Romance: Master, Look at My Tail

TOP 3: The Cold-Faced Master and His Simp Disciple

The master was lounging as he listened to a story, his head raised toward Si Heng, whom he'd pinned to the wall with a single sword strike. “Puppy, why have you never shown me your tail?”

Si Heng had nearly been kicked onto the road to the underworld by his master's sword. He shakily lowered the storybook he'd only half finished reading, looked at the master about to drink poisoned tea, and grinned. “...Because I only want you dead, my dear master.”

Si Heng: I hate you. I want to kill you. But I also like you and admire you.

P.S. The master really is a bit of a chaotic evil character, not a perfect person. He's ruthless and sharp-tongued at all times.

The disciple really is a flippant guy. He's a good, loyal dog with gravity powers, but he has no idea. Every day he says he wants to kill his master, but in truth he's like this every day: I hate you, I loathe you, I'll kill you, I love you to death.

Coming soon: The Miracle Doctor Poisoned Me, Stole My Soul, and Still Made Me His Concubine?

[A pretty miracle doctor with a vicious tongue, a vicious heart, and an even more vicious hand (bottom) × a dog-like prince who loses his memory after being poisoned and tricks himself into falling for a man (top)]

[High-martial-arts jianghu]

Yong Yunpei had just won a battle and was on his way back to the capital to ask for the hand of the person he loved when he was ambushed. As he hovered between life and death, he met a physician carrying a basket of herbs.

The kind and beautiful physician saved him.

He thought he'd met an immortal, but the physician said he wanted Yunpei to repay him with his body.

“N-no! I have a woman I love. I'm about to go home and marry her!”

“Marry who?” the physician said with a cold laugh, then poured a bowl of medicine down his throat. When Yong Yunpei opened his eyes again, he couldn't remember a thing. All he heard was the physician telling him:

“You: my husband. Me: your husband. This place: my home.”

Then the physician left, as if he couldn't be bothered with Yunpei, and even seemed a little disgusted by him.

Yong Yunpei: What? I'm a grown man, and I've actually married another man? A-and I was the one who shamelessly married into his family!?

After finally convincing himself to give it a try, he was taken by the physician to another estate at the foot of the mountain. There were lots of handsome men there, and they all claimed to be the physician's husbands!?

Yong Yunpei was devastated. “You've got to be kidding me! Not only did I marry into your family, I'm also the junior husband?! No way. A poor man can lose his money, but not his dignity. I have to be the principal wife!”

The physician looked him up and down. “When your emperor father gave you to me as compensation, he never said you had to be the principal wife. But good luck. Maybe you'll manage it?”

[High-martial-arts setting, a wuxia story about a wastrel]

[The physician's harem isn't a real harem. Both leads are each other's only partners, but the amnesiac top genuinely thinks he's caught in a household battle for favor]

(Just putting a blurb here for now. I'll polish and rework it later. I'm hopeless at writing blurbs; I've already taken a screenshot.)

Theme: Love belongs out in the open.